Kelly M. Carpenter & Suzanne T. Gurland
Clark University
Going to graduate school and embarking on a career in psychology
research can cause a breakdown in communication between you and uninitiated friends and
family members. Unlike careers in law, medicine, or even psychotherapy, there is no
cultural model for doing research in psychology. TV characters do not have jobs designing
Stroop protocols, constructing questionnaires to investigate hypothetical constructs, or
measuring babies’ sucking responses.
Many of us can recount anecdotes of how our daily activities have been
misunderstood – like relatives who think graduate school is for people who failed to
graduate the first time around, and "research" being construed as an hour with
an encyclopedia. The general unfamiliarity of what psychological research is and what
graduate students do can make it frustrating to try and explain what’s going on in
our lives, and misunderstandings can leave us feeling alienated and under-appreciated.
What can we do to remedy the situation? No intervention is likely to
have your grandparents asking you the most intricate details of your latest attempts at
hierarchical linear modeling, but the following suggestions may be helpful in narrowing
the gulf between you and the important people in your life.
- Extract the underlying question.
Your friend’s question about graduate school
may be littered with misinformation. Yet, he has asked the question for a reason. Resist
the temptation to correct each of his misconceptions, and focus instead on extracting his
meaning in posing the question.
- Give a simple answer and avoid using jargon.
Lengthy, sophisticated answers create
distance between people. The critical information can often be communicated in very few
words. Just as conference abstracts frequently limit presentation titles to 10 words or
fewer, practice doing the same when you respond to your family’s and friends’
questions.
- Find the common denominator.
Certain aspects of your life (e.g., the people you talk
about and the emotions that you experience) are virtually universally understandable. Your
sister may have little experience with phrases like "my fellow Research
Assistant," or "my qualifying exam" but she can easily relate to
"Judy, who’s really funny," and your experiences of anxiety, exhilaration,
and pride. These will be what your sister will remember and can ask about, giving both of
you the feeling that she’s involved in your school life.
- Include them whenever possible.
You may want your mother to stay as far away as
possible from your Master’s defense, but you could still invite her to come for the
post-defense celebration or send her a copy of the completed thesis.
These recommendations put the responsibility on you, the graduate
student, to remedy the problems of alienation and disconnectedness you may be
experiencing. Lest you become chagrined, however, realize two of the major benefits of
using these strategies. First, extracting the meaning of other people’s questions and
distilling your answers down to their essential parts are important skills in all academic
discourse. Second, the more connected and included your family and friends feel, the
better you feel, too. As their questions and comments become more informed, relevant, and
"on target," you will feel less alienated and freer to discuss your graduate
school life openly with them.
This article first appeared in the Winter 2000 Edition of the APAGS
Newsletter, Vol. 12(1)
