Liz O'Laughlin, Ph.D.
Psychology Dept.- Root Hall
Indiana State University
(Presented as part of the APAGS Convention Programming at the 2001 APA Convention in San Francisco, CA)
An Introduction of the Panel Participants
We were fortunate to have several excellent panel participants. Nancy Hyde, Ph.D. is a senior level Professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison who served as chair of the Psychology department there for several years. She has also done research in the area of maternity leave policy and impact on career. Kathy Biesche, Ph.D. is an associate professor in Counseling Psychology at Iowa State University. She recently changed positions from Penn. State to University of Iowa, in part to be more available fo her school-age children. Liz O'Laughlin, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) and Lisa Bischoff, Ph.D. (School Psychology) organized the discussion and were also members of the panel. We had a 5th faculty member, Michael Southam-Gerow, Ph.D. who was unable to attend in person, but provided written comments for the discussion. Finally, Karen Bearss, M.S., APAGS Member at Large, Research/Academic Focus, provided comments and perspective as a graduate student who recently had her first child (who attended the discussion also!).
Following are a few of the themes, comments and suggestions that arose from the discussion.
In her introduction, Dr. Hyde presented several "life perspective" comments that really set the tone for much of the discussion. Dr. Hyde commented that 50 years from now, very few people are likely to remember your research, in contrast to the legacy of having children. She and other panel members also commented on the unparalleled joys involved in the overall experience of parenthood and encouraged others to reframe the busy life of academia and parenthood as a very "FULL" and "meaningFUL" choice of lifestyle. In other words, to reframe the abundance of demands and stress, as abundance of opportunity, challenge and diversity in life experience.
One of the common themes that arose was the role of one's spouse. There were many different types of spouse "arrangements" represented, including dual career relationships, stay-at-home dads, and dual-graduate school parents in one situation. In all cases, it appeared that upfront discussion and planning between partners about the expectations of each in raising a child was very important. In addition, in one case a panel member commented that she had an agreement with her husband that they would focus on her career for 5 years, moving where necessary, and then it would be his turn to focus on his career--resulting in a family move. Another member noted that her husband has a somewhat flexible career, and has been able to move in response to her career changes fairly easily. It was suggested that individuals starting to plan for academic careers and parenthood, talk specifically with their partners about child care expectations, anticipated and desired divions of labor, relative focus on careers (if dual career) etc.
A second theme that emerged was family obligations such as household tasks and childcare. Several panelists indicated that satisfaction with child care arrangements, whether with spouse or family or daycare setting etc., is key in balancing work and family. Also, that some women and men, may need to "let go" psychologically of the need to micromanage or monitor childcare issues 24 hr. a day. In other words, if you have a childcare arrangement that you trust then you should be able to "forget" about your child during the workday without guilt or fear that something will not go according to plan. In addition to work-related childcare, it was suggested that developing a child-care co-op with other colleagues or neighbors may be a good way to get some "couple time" or leisure time without great expense, and in a manner that your kids will have a good time also. In terms of household tasks, Dr. Hyde may a revolutionary comment stating that, in her opinion, no faculty member should be cleaning his/her own house ! Although hiring a house cleaner on an assistant Professor salary may be difficult for some, I can see the logic here. In the time that you spend vacuuming, dusting, spring cleaning etc., you could very well have developed a draft of an article that could result in tenure, promotion and associated pay increase to benefit your family.
Finally, a third theme was support of department and colleagues in balancing work and family demands. I commented that individuals interviewing for academic positions (and planning parenthood) may wish to look for a chair with attitudes about parenting/ career similar to Dr. Hyde! Also, candidates for academic positions should not hesitate to ask questions related to maternity leave, extended tenure, or perceptions of parenthood among junior faculty. If you receive a "chilly reception" or lack of perceived support in response to questions such as this....that may provide you with important information in terms of future support for balancing career and parenthood.
A few general comments about balancing multiple demands:
"You may need to do FEWER things. Its not important to do a lot, but to do fewer things WELL." In other words, once parenthood is part of the picture, you may need to step down from a few committees, volunteer for fewer new projects etc. At least for a few years. Research on parenting consistently indicates that parenting preschool-age children is more stressful and time consuming than parenting older children. Also, your kids will only be young once, so take time to enjoy it as much as possible.
Work efficiently, don't confuse working long hours with productivity or efficiency. If you really focus on what you're doing, you may be able to work less, but accomplish MORE. Having children is often a strong incentive for doing this !
Look for multiple sources of social support--good babysitters that are available on short notice, neighbors or friends that could help with sick child care, colleagues with children willing to do combined play dates and research discussion during school breaks or on weekends if needed. (Lisa and I have done this frequently in preparing for this discussion and other mutual research projects. Our kids love the "play date" and we're able to get some work done on the weekends in a "fun" way!)
As I think about my own experience in balancing parenthood and an academic career, especially as I have been preparing my tenure review documents, I think that one issue to consider is what makes YOU feel good. In other words, what does it take for you to drive home at the end of the day, or in reviewing your day/life, to feel like you're doing a good job. For me, it's balance. I feel a very strong sense of satisfaction and "okay-ness" with my life, if I can look at each day and feel that I have done a decent job of balancing my demands as a Mom (and spouse) and my demands as an academic. For others, that may be different. It could be that your values are to be a GREAT parent all of the time, and career comes second, or vise versa (though I would hope not!) In some cases, an individual may aspire to be a GREAT parent and a GREAT researcher/ academic in order to feel that sense of self satisfaction. Also, some need balance daily, and others can "binge" on work for a few weeks, followed by time off for family. Personally, I think that I need the daily balance as much as possible---but that's just me. I have colleagues who are GREAT parents, who do more of the "binge" thing--especially when there are Grant deadlines, or end of the semester demands that don't leave much time for parenting or leisure.
Finally, it might be interesting to look at what our society values in terms of balancing work and family demands. What messages are you getting from your family, neighbors, friends--and how does that jive with your own values about balance between work and family ? I'm not aware of many tenure review committees that are likely to endorse the view of: "its okay if you're not the most accomplished academic--as long as you've struck a balance of work and family that makes you happy, and in turn, makes your kids and spouse happy.' But this is MY view, and one that works for me. Hopefully by keeping myself happy and healthy (e.g. through optimal balance of parent time and work time), I have maintained consistent quality in both roles.
