 |
Carol
Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS |
(This article first appeared in the Winter 2000 Edition of the APAGS
Newslette.)
APAGS, dedicated to advancing the needs and
interests of students, would be remiss if we did not address mentoring.
The feminization of the field brings to the forefront special issues
related to women and mentoring. While I do not intend to ignore or
invalidate the mentoring needs of men, concerns about balance seem to be
an emerging theme in the professional development of women as we work
toward merging our identities as psychologists and women. Female students
wonder if having it all (including a thriving / diversified / exciting
career, family, holding professional leadership positions, engaging in
community service, lobbying for political change, advocating for
disadvantaged populations, and even learning new skills such as cooking
and sewing) is a possibility or simply an unattainable fantasy. Are the
female leaders of our field living balanced lives and are they able /
willing to guide the new generation of women psychologists toward this
end?
Given that psychology has not been immune to the
biases and prejudices that have historically plagued all disciplines,
resulting in limited opportunities for women, what are the mentoring
experiences and opportunities like for women in psychology? Are women
still making great personal sacrifices for their careers? Are we still
placed in positions of having to continually prove ourselves under male
dominated review? Does this interfere with the availability of female
psychologists to mentor women because they must work doubly-hard to
demonstrate their professional and intellectual abilities? Are those
females engaged in thriving mentoring relationships operating from a
"masculine template" in designing and defining their roles as
psychologists and mentors? Are women in psychology faced with unique
health concerns? Is our feminine identity challenged? Are we at risk for
social isolation? Do the misperceptions about women having, using, or
needing power still circulate even within our
own profession?
Yes.
How do I know this? I asked. I then reported some
of the aforementioned female perspectives at the 1998 APA convention.
However, I want to do more than report that these struggles continue to
exist. I want to work toward change and suggest one possible paradigm
shift to help facilitate change. That is, I believe that it is critical
for female mentors to model balance by engaging in "multiple
relationships" with female students. I am not talking about unethical
multiple relationships. Rather, I am referring to those types of
relationships that model the negotiation of behavior in several roles. By
severing opportunities for female students to observe and hear about the
"personal" aspects of professional women's lives, we are
deprived of models of how to have it all and the mechanisms by which
personal and professional roles are both integrated and separated. I do
not think that it is possible, or necessarily even desirable, to partition
those parts of ourselves off, behaving as if compartmentalization is
preferred and healthy. When women psychologists risk exposing their
multiple selves to students, valuable opportunities to learn about balance
are presented. When a female model for balance is not provided, we are led
to believe that the ideal is indeed a fantasy, and that significant
sacrifices are the inevitable price women must pay for professionalism.
The realities of gender-based discrimination and
lack of opportunity for women in our field are difficult to face, but
continue to exist. This is particularly true for those who desire to hold
leadership positions, whether in academia, research institutions,
organizations, or in association governance. These issues are even more
profound and disappointing for women of color. Therefore, when women do
hold such leadership positions, balance becomes even more difficult
because of the pressures to perform exceedingly well in these
high-profile, traditionally male, roles. The result is that there is a
lack of high achieving, leading, female role models who have managed to
balance their multiple roles effectively, without personal or social
consequences. I am not suggesting that there is a complete absence of
female mentors for psychology students. There are some women who serve as
exemplary examples. Nevertheless, there are not enough of these women. Or,
the women who are currently involved in thriving mentoring relationships
are being stretched too thin and their resources are clearly taxed.
Likewise, many women who have achieved their leadership goals in both
personal and career domains have generally not done so without suffering
extraordinary stress, which is not the ideal model of balance for emerging
female psychologists.
Women often have idealized images of what our
female mentor would look like and she is definitely balanced. In
actuality, however, we lack women who fit these molds. An image or ideal
that is unattainable is not a healthy social comparison for female
students. So where do we go from here?
Simple answers are not forthcoming. However, I do
embrace a philosophy of hope and possibility. As such, I believe that if
female psychologists are willing to re-examine their personal and
professional priorities and acknowledge the importance of making mentoring
an intentional process of nurturing, support, protection, and challenge,
the possibility can become a reality. Indeed, by merging the personal and
professional aspects of our lives, we paradoxically create and model
balance. Encouraging our female mentors to begin with this step could be
revolutionary.
(Note: For a full reprint of the original 1998
presentation, Establishing Mentoring Relationships That Model Balance,
please email me. I also welcome your
experiences and perspectives on mentoring.)
