Mentoring, Balance and Self-Care -- Especially for Women: A Collection of Articles and Resources

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Introduction to this Resource

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD Associate Executive Director, APAGS

There has been growing interest in identifying and addressing the unique mentoring needs of women in the field of psychology. Psychology students have responded favorably to past prose and public commentary regarding the importance of addressing these needs, and they have requested continued attention to this topic. The business literature abounds with theories, strategies and philosophies of successful and unsuccessful feminine mentoring in the corporate context, while there is clearly a lack of resources in the psychology literature on the topic of mentoring women in psychology. As more and more women enter the field of psychology, unique career impediments and opportunities have emerged with little scholarly and theoretical discussion about how to negotiate this new terrain. Moreover, practical and realistic suggestions for balancing family, career, social life, volunteerism, and other roles have been difficult to find.

There are many women who have managed to create rewarding and complete lives as wives, mothers, partners, psychologists, professors, researchers, civic volunteers, hobbyists, leaders, and advocates, among many other roles. However, hearing about these women's lives, with the inherent struggles and joys, has not been a common occurrence. Many of these women have developed innovative and exciting strategies that have led to them enjoying a fulfilling balanced life. In an effort to make these stories more accessible, and to provide an opportunity for women connect across the county, I recently established the APAGSWOMEN listserv (instructions for subscribing are included in this resource guide). This on-line support network has been an extraordinary resource for its members. While it is not intended to be a form of on-line psychotherapy, it has proven to be a place where women can come together in a safe, open and warm environment to talk about their struggles and joys in trying to manage it all, and connect with other women who have become mentors in varying forms.

The topic of mentoring, balance, leadership and self-care for women is psychology is my passion. My research has delved into the interplay of this constellation of issues, and I intend to continue to speak out about the importance of addressing the unique issues women in psychology face, risking public self-exposure as I endeavor to successfully negotiate the personal and the professional. I need balanced, and real, female psychologists to emulate. I appreciate genuine role models and mentors who are not afraid to share their flaws, imperfections, blunders and struggles with me, as well as their achievements, joys, and triumphs - in both their personal and professional lives. If this is what I desire, I also believe it is my responsibility to do the same for my colleagues and women my junior. Therefore, this has been, and continues to be, my quest.

This resource guide is a collection of articles some of my colleagues and I have written on the topic of mentoring, balance and self-care as it relates to women in psychology. (And, there are more coming. Watch the APAGS Newsletter and Web site for updates.) While the resource guide and articles are geared toward female psychology students, it is hoped that the information and ideas will be useful to men and women, students and psychologists alike. As always, I welcome open and respectful dialogue on these topics, as well as the opportunity to connect with and support you.

Table of Contents

Establishing Mentoring Relationships That Model Balance

Why Are Healthy Habits So Hard?

Perspectives on Mentoring: Women in Psychology

Perspectives on Mentoring II: Women, Monday Mornings and Pursuing Balance

Mentoring and Leadership: Lessons Learned for Women Balancing Personal and Professional Roles

Public Poise and Private Struggles: Intentionally Sharing Our Multiple Selves Through Mentoring

What Have You Done for YOU Lately?

Bursting at the Seams (Carefully)

The Year in Review: Empowerment-Based Fundamentals for a Flourishing Profession

Putting the "Self" Back Into "Care"

APAGS Joins the Effort to Counter Distress and Impairment in the Profession

Announcing a New APAGS Listserv FOR and ABOUT Female Psychology Student Issues!

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Establishing Mentoring Relationships That Model Balance

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This paper was presented as part of a symposium at the 1998 Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association, San Francisco, California)

Introduction to the Pilot Survey and Personal Perspectives

I have recently faced some of the most difficult challenges and obstacles in my life in trying to merge my identity as a psychologist and a woman. In the process of trying to strike a balance between the roles that I currently hold and those I would like to hold, I have become perplexed and overwhelmed. The sense of exhaustion I feel when simply entertaining the idea of simultaneously holding multiple professional and feminine roles makes me yearn for a female mentor who can supply me with her wisdom and vast experience related to her successes in managing it all.

Like many of my female colleagues, I have high expectations for myself and my life. I want it all! I want an exciting and diversified career. I want to be a leader in my field. I want to travel abroad. I want to engage in research, write, and publish. I want to teach. I want to study. I would like to be a wife and a mother. I want to spend time with my family, friend and future children. I want to serve my community. I want to be politically active. I want to advocate for disadvantaged populations. And, I would not mind learning how to cook and sew.

Clearly, I want it all and more, but I become admittedly troubled when others suggest that I cannot have it all. It has become all too routine for me to hear the following unsolicited perspectives: "You are going to age too quickly if you do not slow down," or "A man does not want someone who is smarter than him," or "You are not married? How old are you? What is wrong with you?," or "Isn't your biological clock ticking? I thought you always wanted children." Most of the time I remain true to my philosophical stance and conviction of wanting it all. However, during some occasions of solitude and reflection, I find myself wondering if my philosophy is based on idealism or realism.

Is it realistic to want it all, or to have it all? Or are my desires simply an unattainable fantasy? Is the ideal a possibility? Can a woman be successful and even a leader in the professional and personal realms of her life? Or is sacrifice a word that must be acknowledged, accepted, and absorbed into a woman's sense of self? For many high-achieving women, the term sacrifice is equated with defeat. Accomplished women generally relish mastery. Therefore, the notion of defeat runs counterintuitive to the successful woman's cognitive style (Lerner, 1988).

Have you ever secretly wondered if some of your female colleagues have an identical twin that they have never told anyone about, which explains how they appear to have more hours in their days than you? On the outside they appear poised, composed, confident, sharp, well rested, and exceedingly organized. They seem to have it all: A budding career, a wonderful family for whom they prepare daily home-cooked meals, publishers lining up soliciting their writing, and non-psychologist friends with whom they spend Saturday afternoons barbecuing. They make homemade Christmas cards every year, which they send to their 200 closest friends. They manage to successfully petition for exceptions at school so they can take or teach a double-load of courses rather than the regularly scheduled grueling coursework or teaching assignments. On top of it all, they find the time to go to the gym 5 days per week. One wonders how they do it all, especially since it appears seamless. It only makes sense that they must have sacrificed something to have what they do.

But suddenly, as you are comparing your turmoiled life (as I have) to that of your colleagues, you realize that this is the fantasy that you have for yourself. You are projecting your wishes onto one of your colleagues who has some of your idealized attributes, but not all. You have created an image of your perfect well-rounded, balanced, person out of a multitude of women you admire. There really is no such a person who has all of these characteristics. Or is there?

This is what I set out to discover in evaluating components of my life and in investigating my curiosities about the types of female mentoring relationships that exist in the field of psychology. The ideas in this qualitative analysis are a composite of my experiences as well as those of my female colleagues throughout North America who completed questionnaires to aid my explorative research.

History

Before sharing my findings, it is important to take a brief historical retreat to provide a context for the current experiences of female psychologists. Until recently, psychology, like most other advance-degreed professions, has been a male-dominated field (APA, 1998; Atkinson, Neville & Casas, 1991: Noe, 1988). Psychology has not been immune to the biases and prejudices that have historically plagued all disciplines, resulting in limited opportunities for women.

In earlier times, success for women in all fields often meant making great personal sacrifices. These included leaving the security of home and family to obtain a competitive education, remaining unmarried, becoming financially self-supporting in a system that paid (and continues to pay) women significantly less than men for the same job, and women who were continually proving themselves under male-dominated review and standards (Boulding, 1983; Braiker, 1986; Moen, 1992). And, in spite of the abundant early scholarly endeavors of women like Mary Calkins, some institutions did not grant doctoral degrees to females or adequately acknowledge their prominence in the history of psychology. Moreover, the competitive scientific writings of women were rarely accepted for publication. Higher education essentially remained a male-privilege until the 1950s and 1960s.

Spurred by economic necessity, women began to enter the professional workforce in the 1960s and 1970s. A sense of emancipation emerged and feminist thinkers began to proliferate (APA, 1998; Grossman & Chester, 1990). Thanks to early feminists, who challenged the gender-based social structure, more women were permitted access to the professional world of work.

Female Mentors in Psychology - A Preliminary Investigation

Within the field of psychology, there has been a relatively recent wave of women who have attained established positions of leadership after struggling to move up the ranks, undoubtedly making many sacrifices along the way. These were sacrifices that their male colleagues did not have to make. Now these same women are in prime positions to serve as mentors to female students. But are they mentoring their junior-women-colleagues? And when they do, what is the quality of mentoring provided?

I asked students these questions. I mailed 40 questionnaires to students throughout the United States and posted the questions on two American Psychological Association of Graduate Students (APAGS) listservs. APAGS sponsored this listserv questionnaire and respondents were aware that by providing answers to my questions, informed consent was assumed and I could use their responses anonymously in reports of this pilot investigation. I received 31 email responses and 24 written responses, totaling of 55 data sets. Thirty-eight respondents were doctoral students and 17 were master's students. The respondents ranged in age from 23 to 46.

Thirty respondents indicated that they did not have a female mentor. Some of the speculations for the absence of a female mentor were:

From these responses the emergent theme reflects that, in general, women psychologists are not mentoring female students. Even when they are, the relationship is plagued with stereotypes. To investigate my curiosity about the stereotypes that exist around strong professional women, I asked students what their experiences have been in working with or observing women in psychology who hold leadership positions. I received a variety of responses:

Evaluating the aforementioned responses, I gathered that women psychologists might be struggling with some of the same issues that I grapple with - that of finding a healthy balance between the multiplicity of roles that women have and those we desire.

Moreover, this sense of imbalance is evident to students, whether intentional or not.

For some women leaders, it is likely that their mentors were primarily men. With men as their primary model during their training years, current women leaders probably now use a modified "masculine template" for designing and defining their own roles as psychologists, and ultimately as mentors. What is lacking is the unique perspective of what it is like to be a professional female in a world where "professionalism" has a long history of being a well-protected masculine status (Kaufman & Richardson, 1982). When women live and compete in a man's world, we are often taught by example to "act like a man" to level the playing field (APA, 1998; Barnett & Baruch, 1978; Kundsin, 1974; Moen, 1992). This might be the reason balance is so difficult for women in psychology in terms of successfully managing their family, children, career, and individual needs, because these were roles that traditional men, who were their mentors, did not hold.

I am not implying that men are unable to mentor women and provide useful guidance and support. This would be dualistic thinking contributing to bias against men, based solely on gender. For example, one of my male mentors has been keenly aware of my needs as a student, a psychologist in training, and as a person with feelings, yearnings, and struggles. But the perspective that a female can offer another female is unique and can add richness and complexity to the mentee's repritore of experiences. My female mentors have been absolutely necessary in helping me to acknowledge the difficulties inherent in navigating the journey of professional identity development. It can be argued that the opportunity for female to female mentoring relationships is essential for the successful professional development of women students.

I also believe that it is imperative for female mentors to engage in "multiple relationships" with their female students. I am not referring to unethical types of multiple relationships. Rather, I am referring to those types of relationships that model the negotiation of behavior in several roles. By severing opportunities for female students to observe and hear about the "personal" aspects of professional women's lives, we are deprived of models of how to have it all and the mechanisms by which personal and professional roles are both integrated and separated.

Who you are as a person is intricately woven into who you are as a psychologist, professor, partner, parent, and friend. I do not think that it is possible, or necessarily even desirable, to partition those parts of ourselves off, behaving as if compartmentalization is preferred and healthy. When women psychologists risk exposing their multiple selves to students, valuable opportunities to learn about balance are presented. This is important because as I discovered through questioning students in combination with my personal observations, women in psychology, overall, do not appear to lead balanced lives. Why is it so important to establish female to female mentoring relationships that model balance?

Importance of Modeling Balance

Female students are wrestling with making decisions about how to distribute our energies, how to sustain our relationships, and how to make wise choices because of the impact our current choices have on our personal and professional futures. When a female model for balance is not provided, we are led to believe that the ideal is indeed a fantasy, and that sacrifice and its resultant unhappiness is an inevitable price to pay for professionalism.

I would suggest that there are five main areas of female professional identity development that are impacted by the presence or absence of balanced female mentors:

Health Consequences

As it is, high-achieving women feel inordinately pressured to be superwomen (Braiker, 1986; Frankel, 1993; Lechner & Creedon, 1994). Many women adapt to the paradoxical problems of trying to "have it all" by pushing themselves to do it all independently. While striving to perform well in each role, there is often a tremendous cost to physical and emotional health. Bombarded with daily life stress, professional women are swelling the epidemiological ranks of ulcer cases, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, sexual dysfunction, and a host of stress-induced physical ailments, including backaches, headaches, allergies, and recurrent viral infections (Apter, 1993). Our cost for success in a man's world certainly has come at a steep price.

Several students mentioned how they have painstakingly watched the physical health of women psychologists deteriorate as they attempted to excel in every aspect of their lives. One student said, "I have watched [her] suffer chronic injuries that require up to 3 months of downtime to heal. I see many other women with similar drive and success [as her] also succumb to hypertension and chronic pain as a reward for their hard work. As a graduate student with similar aspirations, it concerns me that the price I may have to pay for my ambition is such a high physical one."

How can a woman have it all without causing physical damage to herself by trying to do it all? Pop-psychology seems to have filled a market need in this area. Scanning the shelves of Barnes and Nobel Bookstore, I was astonished at the apparent volumes of materials dedicated to strategies for working women, while there was a clear lack of similar resources for men. There was one book in particular that captured my attention. The title read, "Managing It All: Time-Saving Ideas for Career, Family, Relationships, and Self" (Treuille & Stautberg, 1988). The cover featured the picture of a professionally dressed woman clutching a child and briefcase in her arms. "Finally!" I thought, "A book that will give me what I am looking for - step by step instructions." Was this too good to be true?

In a desperate search for the answers to my ongoing time management dilemma, I quickly began perusing the pages. I was quite disappointed. The book made outrageous suggestions that would actually add to my schedule, rather than condense it, such as:

"During your lunch-breaks at work, while you are eating, you can catch up on your personal chores such as balancing your checkbook, doing your taxes, or writing out Christmas cards" (Treuille & Stautberg, 1988, p. 73).

"Prepare for the following day the night before by: setting the breakfast table, premix eggs for French-toast batter and refrigerate for a morning time-saver, and prepare lunches and hang them on the doorknob so you don't forget them. But be sure to wrap the sandwich lettuce and tomato separately so as not to make the bread soggy" (Treuille & Stautberg, 1988, p. 145).

"Hire a housekeeper and put yellow stick-it notes throughout the house with detailed instructions for cleaning" (Treuille & Stautberg, 1988, p. 163).

These tasks would add to a woman's schedule, as I calculate it, rather than making it more efficient. Are breaks and downtime not an option for professional women? As might be guessed, this is not a book I purchased.

Family and Intimate Relationships

One precipitating factor to women's stress arises out of profound conflict between work and love, and competing demands for our time and attention (Frankel, 1993). Unlike men who have historically derived satisfaction from being "good providers" to their families because of their careers, women often feel compelled to prove that they can be good wives and mothers, or good partners, in spite of the fact that they work. Gloria Steinem (in Lerner, 1988) is routinely asked whether it is possible for a woman to have it all - a career and a family. In exasperation, she points out that this question is rarely posed to men.

In many cultures, including subcultures of the United States, women are encouraged to be dependent and are frequently portrayed as lost and helpless without a male partner (APA, 1998; Atkinson, Neville & Casas, 1991; Boulding, 1983; Worell & Remer, 1992). Devaluation of women sets the stage for making it particularly hard for minority women to find and establish rewarding mentoring relationships, because of the added layer of racial oppression. This struggle adds even more distanced opportunities for minority women to be mentored into leadership positions within the profession (Boulding, 1983, Ragins & Cotton, 1991). It is uncommon for a woman to hold a position of top leadership in the field and even rarer for a minority woman to hold such a position. This happens in spite of the fact that women in psychology are outnumbering men in psychology by almost three to one!

Marriage is one of our culture's primary yardsticks for normality, given that almost all of our stereotypes about being single are negative, ranging from being irresponsible and selfish to unfit or pathological (Kundsin, 1974). We generally do not question a single man's focus on career. On the other hand, it is common to view a single hardworking career woman as overcompensating for not having a family or not being suitable for family life, due to presumed but inaccurate characterological flaws or other psychopathology.

These messages are displayed subtly and not so discretely. For example, the tone inflection used when people ask me, "Let me see if I understand this right: You are single, never been married, and you are how old?" reflects this idea. What happens, then, for women who are not in sync with the dominant discourse of society that defines healthy living for women being in the context of a man's life? Women's success, power, and leadership becomes alienating because of these narrow notions of women's appropriate place in society. In return, this alienation leads to deep self-reflection and a woman's feminine identity may be challenged.

Feminine Identity

High-achieving women grapple with the problem of how to succeed in a world that rewards stereotypical male values while still maintaining their sense of femininity.

Self-in-relation theory postulates that women organize their sense of identity, find existential meaning, achieve a sense of coherence and continuity, and are motivated, in the context of relationships (Lerner, 1988). In finding a balance between assertiveness and the need to maintain connections with other people, many successful women find it helpful to surround themselves with other competent women with whom they share a sense of intellectual equality (Kerry & Mayes, 1995; Kundsin, 1974).

However, some women also find that their success can be threatening to other women, both professional and non-professional, and they may take deliberate steps to appear less "masculine" (Gaskill, 1991; Gilbert & Rossman, 1992). One research respondent said:

As Sandra Bem's (1974) research on sex-role stereotypes and psychological androgyny demonstrated, there are particular traits and characteristics that are considered to be uniquely feminine and uniquely masculine. Competitiveness, assertiveness, and independence, for example, are traits that are perceived as a requirement for moving ahead in the career world. These traits, however, contrast with our ingrained cultural beliefs about what it means to be "feminine" (Lerner, 1988; Ragines & Cotton, 1991; Worell & Remer, 1992). Intellectual ability and competence are frequently seen as masculine territory. Both sexes tend to regard intellectual achievement as "unfeminine" and women generally equate academic success with detrimental social consequences (Gilbert & Rossman, 1992; Lerner, 1988).

Social Consequences

Women experience a certain amount of social rejection as intellects or leaders. In a qualitative study at California State University - Fullerton, Diana Tickton Schuster examined women psychotherapist's experiences of being gifted, beginning in high school (Brakier, 1986). One woman shared, "...I didn't want to compete with the men. Although I was the top of the class, I wasn't about to go in and outshine the men. The social consequences would be too great. My life was lonely enough" (Brakier, 1986, p. 54). Another therapist reported having two sets of friends: those who knew her as a smart student and those who knew her as simply someone to go out with for fun. She did not allow those two worlds to collide. Another said that her "talents intimidated [her] peers, especially the men," and as result she "played dumb, never showed [her] grades to anyone, and denied [her] intellect" (Brakier, 1986, p. 56).

Many women describe their success in the world of work as hurting their marriage or their intimate relationships (Frankel, 1993; Noe, 1988). When we are successful, we gain more credibility and consequently more influence. The ability to influence others is frequently equated with power. Yet many incompatible assumptions about women and power exist.

Women and Power

It is well established in feminist research that there is an overriding cultural norm against women having, using, or needing power (Bem, 1974; Kaufman & Richardson, 1982; Lerner, 1988). Furthermore, there are many systems still in place today that prevent women from competing for positions of influence and power. The feminist literature abounds with prose related to the processes by which some women support the power of other women, while others seem to unknowingly and subtly participate in deflecting responsibility from systems that continue to oppress women (Gaskill, 1991; Gilbert & Rossman, 1992; Noe, 1988; Ragins & Cotton, 1991). I found some evidence of this unfortunate phenomenon in my research. One student said:

Some successful women seem to value their special status, actively avoiding or purposely preventing competition from other women. They may also deny that discrimination exists, believing that any woman who is able and determined enough can reach her professional goals. Explicitly or implicitly, they see others who do not reach their career goals as inferior or professionally handicapped by choice or lack of talent, not as a result of long-standing gender boundaries (Braiker, 1986; Lerner, 1988).

I asked about the positions men and women faculty members held at the respondents' universities. Some of the answers confirmed this "special status" belief:

A pyramid definitely exists in our higher education system, with women at the bottom and men at the top. It is a false assumption that men in general are more qualified and interested than women in obtaining academic leadership positions. The realities of discrimination and lack of opportunity are difficult to face, but they do exist.

By and large, I have discovered that there are a lack of high-achieving female role models who have managed to balance their multiple roles effectively. I am not suggesting that there is a complete absence of female mentors for psychology students. There are some women who serve as exemplary examples. Nevertheless, there are not enough of these women. Or, the women who are currently involved in thriving mentoring relationships are being stretched too thin and their resources are clearly taxed. Likewise, women who have achieved their goals in both personal and career domains have generally not done so without suffering extreme stress. There may be some extraordinary women who have managed to pull it all together while appearing to do so with minimal stress. But most superwomen have "super-stress" and are at constant risk for burnout and its resultant depression. They may lose their passion for the field and mentoring, as well as the determination to be a catalyst for changing the predicament of professional women.

As mentioned in opening, women often have idealized images of what their female mentor would look like, but in actuality we lack women who fit these molds. An image or ideal that is unattainable is not a healthy social comparison for female students. So where do we go from here? Simple answers are not forthcoming. However, I do embrace a philosophy of hope and possibility. As such, I believe that if female psychologists re-examine their personal and professional priorities and acknowledge the importance of making mentoring an intentional process of nurturing, support, protection, and challenge, the possibility can become a reality. Indeed, by merging the personal and professional aspects of our lives, we paradoxically create and model balance. A beginning like this could be revolutionary. Y

References

American Psychological Association (May 1998). Surviving and thriving in academia: A guide for women and ethnic minorities. Washington, D.C.: APA.

Apter, T. (1985). Working women don't have wives. New York: St. Martin's Press.

Atkinson, D.R., Neville, H., and Casas, A. (1991). The mentorship of ethnic minorities in professional psychology. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 22 (4), 336-338.

Barnett, R.C. & Baruch, G.K. (1978). The competent woman: Perspectives on development. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Bem, S.L. (1974), The measurement of psychological androgyny. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 42, 145-157.

Boulding, E. (1983). Minorities and women: Even harder times. Academe, 69, 27-30.

Braiker, H.B. (1986). The type-e woman: How to overcome the stress of being everything to everybody. New York: Dodd, Mead & Company, Inc.

Frankel, J. (1993). The employed mother and the family context. New York: Springer Publishing Company.

Gaskill, L. R. (1991). Same-sex and cross-sex mentoring of female proteges: A comparative analysis. The Career Development Quarterly, 40, 48-63.

Gilbert, L.A. and Rossman, K.M. (1992). Gender and the mentoring process for women: Implications for professional development. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 23 (3), 233-238.

Grossman, H.Y. & Chester, N.L. (1990). The experience and meaning of work in women's lives. Hillsdale, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Hudson, P. (1996). The solution-oriented woman: Creating the life you want. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.

Kaufman, D.R. & Richardson, B.L. (1982). Achievement and women. New York: The Free Press.

Kerry, R. & Mayes, A.S. (1995). Issues in mentoring. New York: The Open University.

Kundsin, R.B. (1974). Women and success: The anatomy of achievement. New York: Williams, Morrow & Company, Inc.

Lechner, V.M. & Creedon, M.A. (1994). Managing work and family life. New York: Springer Publishing Company.

Lerner, H.G. (1988). Women in therapy. New York: Jason Aronson, Inc.

Moen, P. (1992). Women's two roles: A contemporary dilemma. New York: Auburn House.

Noe, R.A. (1988). Women and mentoring: A review and research agenda. Academy of Management Review, 13 (1), 65-78.

Ragins, B.R. and Cotton, J.L. (1991). Easier said than done: Gender differences in perceived barriers to gaining a mentor. Academy of Management Journal, 34 (4), 939-951.

Treuille, B.B. & Stautberg, S.S. (1988). Managing it all: Time-saving ideas for career, family, relationships and self. New York: Master Medical Limited.

Worell, J. & Remer, P. (1992). Feminist perspectives in therapy: An empowerment model for women. New York: Wiley and Sons.

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Why Are Healthy Habits So Hard

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

Let's face it: Being a graduate student is tough. On a daily basis, the typical graduate student is consumed with looming deadlines, high demands for productivity, obsessive attentiveness to detail, a desire to present polished and exceptional work, the need to prove one's worthiness, wanting to be noticed, trying to be "well-read," working in the lab, analyzing statistics, seeing clients, obtaining supervision, researching and writing papers, preparing for class discussions and examinations, and developing dissertation ideas.

Being a "good" graduate student is even harder. And often, the qualities that can make for a dedicated graduate student-diligence, persistence, self-sacrifice and even a tendency to be perfectionistic-may place students at risk.

Herein lies the dilemma. Graduate students want to be successful. They have the skills to achieve and are eager to please. They want to pursue additional academic activities that will help them excel and stand out among a cohort of individuals with similar dispositions. But, it is challenging to find the time to perform beyond the general expectations of graduate school aside from managing the associated stress. And, if stress is not effectively managed, productivity declines.

When that happens, graduate students usually try to fix the problem by working harder, longer, and faster - generally an ineffective solution for restoring equilibrium. Research suggests that work with little variation and a high demand for productivity, along with recurring pressured deadlines with few rewards and little recognition, combined with being in a position with minimal power and control, results in stress and ultimately burnout. This description may sound hauntingly familiar to many graduate students.

What's The Answer To This Dilemma?

Taking time for self-care helps students manage stress and maintain productivity. Self-care activities must be individually defined and discovered. What one student classifies as self-care may be what another identifies as stressful. For example, playing sports may be relaxing for some, but the competitive nature involved may be too stressful for others.

Self-care is a universally affirmed concept but a poorly implemented activity and a deceptively simplistic notion, particularly as it relates to the lives of graduate students. Students have little time to focus on themselves, much less take care of themselves, when trying to be "good" graduate students. In fact, students who openly share their adventures in self-care may be subject to others' suspicion, including questions about their level of academic and professional commitment. Overdue for replenishment, but having been overtly and covertly discouraged from engaging in activities that resemble self-care, students often respond by returning to the patterns that place them at risk.

Find Your Balance

Upon close examination, many students have discovered that self-care does not really seem to be encouraged, taught or modeled as much as we think it is or would like it to be. In fact, when students casually survey their environment, they often find that classmates, supervisors and faculty are taking on more responsibilities and taking less care of themselves, while simultaneously discussing how necessary it is to take better care of themselves - if they "only had the time."

For graduate students, indulgence can be paradoxical. Accustomed to focusing on academic demands to the exclusion of other activities, the thought of self-care may seem outrageous. Balance is a difficult skill to master. Learning to successfully balance indulgent activities with academic responsibilities, however, paradoxically increases efficiency, maintains productivity, reduces stress and leads to healthy living - both personally and professionally.

It's never too late or too early to find the time to cultivate healthy habits, including guiltless self-care. Perfecting these skills while in graduate school is a career investment and makes for an especially "good graduate student. Y

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Perspectives on Mentoring: Women in Psychology

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article was written while I was Chair of APAGS for the Winter 2000 APAGS Newsletter, Vol. 12, No. 1)

APAGS, dedicated to advancing the needs and interests of students, would be remiss if we did not address mentoring. The feminization of the field brings to the forefront special issues related to women and mentoring. While I do not intend to ignore or invalidate the mentoring needs of men, concerns about balance seem to be an emerging theme in the professional development of women as we work toward merging our identities as psychologists and women. Female students wonder if having it all (including a thriving / diversified / exciting career, family, holding professional leadership positions, engaging in community service, lobbying for political change, advocating for disadvantaged populations, and even learning new skills such as cooking and sewing) is a possibility or simply an unattainable fantasy. Are the female leaders of our field living balanced lives and are they able / willing to guide the new generation of women psychologists toward this end?

Given that psychology has not been immune to the biases and prejudices that have historically plagued all disciplines, resulting in limited opportunities for women, what are the mentoring experiences and opportunities like for women in psychology? Are women still making great personal sacrifices for their careers? Are we still placed in positions of having to continually prove ourselves under male dominated review? Does this interfere with the availability of female psychologists to mentor women because they must work doubly-hard to demonstrate their professional and intellectual abilities? Are those females engaged in thriving mentoring relationships operating from a "masculine template" in designing and defining their roles as psychologists and mentors? Are women in psychology faced with unique health concerns? Is our feminine identity challenged? Are we at risk for social isolation? Do the misperceptions about women having, using, or needing power still circulate even within our own profession?

Yes.

How do I know this? I asked. I then reported some of the aforementioned female perspectives at the 1998 APA convention. However, I want to do more than report that these struggles continue to exist. I want to work toward change and suggest one possible paradigm shift to help facilitate change. That is, I believe that it is critical for female mentors to model balance by engaging in "multiple relationships" with female students. I am not talking about unethical multiple relationships. Rather, I am referring to those types of relationships that model the negotiation of behavior in several roles. By severing opportunities for female students to observe and hear about the "personal" aspects of professional women's lives, we are deprived of models of how to have it all and the mechanisms by which personal and professional roles are both integrated and separated. I do not think that it is possible, or necessarily even desirable, to partition those parts of ourselves off, behaving as if compartmentalization is preferred and healthy. When women psychologists risk exposing their multiple selves to students, valuable opportunities to learn about balance are presented. When a female model for balance is not provided, we are led to believe that the ideal is indeed a fantasy, and that significant sacrifices are the inevitable price women must pay for professionalism.

The realities of gender-based discrimination and lack of opportunity for women in our field are difficult to face, but continue to exist. This is particularly true for those who desire to hold leadership positions, whether in academia, research institutions, organizations, or in association governance. These issues are even more profound and disappointing for women of color. Therefore, when women do hold such leadership positions, balance becomes even more difficult because of the pressures to perform exceedingly well in these high-profile, traditionally male, roles. The result is that there is a lack of high achieving, leading, female role models who have managed to balance their multiple roles effectively, without personal or social consequences. I am not suggesting that there is a complete absence of female mentors for psychology students. There are some women who serve as exemplary examples. Nevertheless, there are not enough of these women. Or, the women who are currently involved in thriving mentoring relationships are being stretched too thin and their resources are clearly taxed. Likewise, many women who have achieved their leadership goals in both personal and career domains have generally not done so without suffering extraordinary stress, which is not the ideal model of balance for emerging female psychologists.

Women often have idealized images of what our female mentor would look like and she is definitely balanced. In actuality, however, we lack women who fit these molds. An image or ideal that is unattainable is not a healthy social comparison for female students. So where do we go from here?

Simple answers are not forthcoming. However, I do embrace a philosophy of hope and possibility. As such, I believe that if female psychologists are willing to re-examine their personal and professional priorities and acknowledge the importance of making mentoring an intentional process of nurturing, support, protection, and challenge, the possibility can become a reality. Indeed, by merging the personal and professional aspects of our lives, we paradoxically create and model balance. Encouraging our female mentors to begin with this step could be revolutionary. Y

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Perspectives on Mentoring II: Women, Monday Mornings and Pursuing Balance

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article was written while I was Chair of APAGS for the Spring 2000 APAGS Newsletter, Vol 12, No. 2)

Aren't Monday mornings at work supposed to begin with a replenished body and spirit? After all, weren't weekends designed to facilitate self-care in the form of lounging, participating in family and social activities, enjoying hobbies and engaging in other self-indulging acts? Perhaps I am confused about the role of work and weekends in women's lives, because my time away from work certainly does not allow time for much self-care. After receiving very touching messages from women (prompted by my last newsletter article on women, balance and mentoring), I am convinced that I am not the only woman who returns to work each Monday morning having condensed an additional 40-hour work-week into the preceding weekend. Some may argue that women make the "choice" to refrain from self-indulgent weekend activities, thus inviting our own stress and dreary Monday mornings. Of course we all have choices. But our choices become limited by having to continuously prove that we are not only capable of making significant contributions to our field, but that we have the determination, stamina, and talent to thrive in spite of the gender-based assumptions and stereotyped roles that persist. Why do women have to work extraordinarily hard, efficiently and precisely during our workweeks and weekends? We are trying to level the professional playing field. Our successes gain us credibility, more influence, and the power to implement changes that yield greater gender equality.

It is not uncommon for me to return to work on Monday mornings feeling exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed. Because I must ceaselessly demonstrate my professional competency as an intern, therapist, student, lecturer / instructor and Chair of APAGS, balance has become a suspended objective. I share my story because I know that many other women in psychology live similar lives, but are inhibited from revealing their struggles for fear of exposing professional vulnerability.

Every weekend I usually write psychological evaluations, intake assessments and unfinished case notes, prepare for case presentations, outreach programming, and group therapy. I read book chapters or journal articles to learn more about my client's difficulties. I spend time on my dissertation. I work on non-dissertation research. I prepare lectures, grade papers, and compose or grade exams. As Chair of APAGS, I have an infinite "to do" list that includes: writing articles, investigating and composing responses to the requests of various APA constituency groups, writing and updating training and educational materials, preparing agenda items for bi-annual business meetings, keeping abreast of the newest developments within the profession, steering / overseeing / managing the activities of the APAGS committee, discussing the vision and future of psychology, advocating for graduate students and new professionals, and preparing for travel to participate in APA meetings. I also perform routine tasks necessary for daily living, such as laundry, house cleaning, shopping, paying bills, running errands, vehicle maintenance (gas usually helps), and phoning my family to let them know that I am still alive. After these tasks are complete, I unfortunately have little remaining time for exercise and nourishment (unless walking up three flights of stairs each day at work counts as a cardiovascular workout and consuming Hershey's Kisses from my office candy jar counts as sustenance). I cannot recall the last time I prepared a home-cooked meal and sat down at my dining room table to eat. In fact, I probably would not be able to cook spontaneously because I only maintain a supply of Diet Coke in my refrigerator, and my cupboards only contain nonperishable items that would be ideal donations for food drives.

I am not complaining or trying to solicit sympathy. I derive profound meaning and satisfaction from what I do. I just need longer days and the opportunity for occasional sleep. My situation is not notably unique or special compared to the lives of my female colleagues. I do not have children or a family by marriage, while many women have this added layer of responsibility. Some people may say, "Prioritize! You will make time for the things that are important to you." Translated by women this proclamation means, "Sacrifice! You can't do everything and must neglect something." High-achieving women do not appreciate this idiom of resignation. Sacrifice creates a sense of defeat, and negligence implies incompetence. Not surprisingly, women are unwilling to be viewed as incompetent, especially when professional credibility is a hard-won attribute in a man's world, where professionalism has a long history of being a well-protected masculine status.

Our gender-based social structure still imposes one set of rules for women and another for men. While the impediments to women's professional development have become more publicly acknowledged, they have not become obsolete. The discrimination is simply more subtle and insidious than it was twenty years ago. Why do our female colleagues feel they must hide their pregnancies during internship interviews? Why do our older female colleagues get glorious reviews about what they "look like" on paper, but when face to face interviews for internships or jobs commence, they receive very different, distinctly uninterested, responses? Why are our younger female colleagues told to "get more experience" in the real world before applying for graduate programs, while their male counterparts are immediately accepted? Why do heterosexual women still feel the need to "play dumb" in social settings, so as not to intellectually intimidate male suitors? Both sexes tend to regard intellectual achievement as "unfeminine", and women generally equate academic success with detrimental social consequences.

An additional precipitating factor to women's "Monday morning" fatigue and stress arises out of the deep conflict between work and intimacy, and competing demands for our time and attention. Unlike men who have historically derived satisfaction from being "good providers" to their families because of their careers, women often feel compelled to prove that we can be good partners and mothers, in spite of the fact that we work. Marriage is one of our culture's primary yardsticks for normality, given that almost all of the assumptions made about being a single woman are negative - ranging from being irresponsible and selfish, to unfit or pathological. Seldom questioned is a single man's focus on career. On the other hand, it is common to view a single hardworking career woman as overcompensating for not having a family or not being suitable for family life due to presumed, but inaccurate, characterological flaws or other psychopathology. What are the consequences, then, for women who are not in sync with the dominant discourse of society that defines normality and health for women only being possible in the context of a man's life? Our success, power, and leadership becomes alienating because of these restrictive notions of a woman's appropriate role in society. As a consequence of this alienation, our feminine identity may be challenged.

High-achieving women grapple with the problem of how to succeed in a world that rewards stereotypical male values while still maintaining our sense of femininity. As women, we tend to organize our sense of identity, find existential meaning, achieve a sense of coherence and continuity, and become motivated in the context of relationships. As we strive to find a balance between assertiveness, professional success, enjoying fulfilling intimate relationships, and the need to maintain connections with others, many women have found it helpful to surround themselves with other competent women with whom we share a sense of intellectual equality. However, there are times when women experience a certain amount of social rejection as intellects or leaders and not all women promote camaraderie.

Women in psychology are wrestling with making decisions about how to distribute our energies, how to sustain our relationships, and how to make wise choices because of their future implications, both personally and professionally. While striving to perform well in each role, there is often a tremendous cost to physical and emotional health. Bombarded with unrelenting, uniquely-feminine life stressors, professional women are swelling the epidemiological ranks of substance abuse, depression, sexual dysfunction, and a host of stress-induced physical ailments. Complicating matters are the many systems still in place today that prevent women from competing for positions of influence and power. Furthermore, feminist literature abounds with prose related to the processes by which some women support the power of other women, while others seem to unknowingly and subtly participate in deflecting responsibility from systems that continue to oppress women. In fact, some successful women seem to value their distinct status, actively avoiding or purposely preventing competition from other women to protect their special role. They may also deny that gender discrimination exists, believing that any woman who has enough determination can reach her professional goals. Explicitly or implicitly, they see others who do not reach their career goals as inferior or professionally crippled by choice or a lack of talent, but not as the result of long-standing gender boundaries.

We are now in a position to eradicate the stereotypes that have plagued professional women for decades. I reveal my story of imbalance to give voice to the numerous women who contacted me to share their analogous stories. Why are we still prevented from uniting as women in psychology to create a new definition of professionalism that is based on realism rather than idealism? Women may not have commensurate social and professional power with men, but we certainly have power in number. Seventy-five percent of graduate students are women! We can capitalize on this strength. By uniting and revolutionizing the field, perhaps I will no longer have to yearn for a Monday morning when I can return to work rejuvenated from a self-indulging weekend! Instead, it will be routine to return to work on "Monday mornings" refreshed. Y

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Mentoring and Leadership: Lessons Learned for Women Balancing Personal and Professional Roles

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article originally appeared in the Winter 2001 APAGS Newsletter, Vol 13, No. 1)

About three years ago, I began surveying several women in an attempt to understand more about how my colleagues were merging their identities as psychologists and women. My interest was stimulated by the sudden onslaught of several intrusive realities, which are as follows:

I panicked! "Impossible" was a word never spoken around my dinner table during my formative years. This unprovoked assault by others' shared views of reality on my nicely planned existence was incredibly distressing. I didn't want to believe it. I was highly resistant to the notion that I couldn't have it all, AND enjoy it all - while I was having it all. I was always one who interpreted someone saying, "Carol, I don't think you can do that, or I don't think you have time for that" or any variation of being told "no" -as a subtle challenge to prove them wrong. My usually subdued dispositional feistiness, would rise to this perceived challenge, and I'd say to myself, "Watch me!" I'd then proceed to do whatever they said I couldn't do, better than they'd ever seen it done before!

But my confidence began to falter when I noticed that I was getting older, the days were getting shorter, I was not able to function at the same capacity as I once did after pulling all-nighters or sleeping 3 hours per night for consecutive weeks, and that people reacted with astonishment when I shared my intentions of eventually cultivating a rewarding intimate relationship, getting married, and having children WHILE I continued at my usual pace. The doubt they conveyed was not surprising or new to me, because I'd experienced that before, and had good track record of proving them wrong. It was their uncontrollable hysterical laughing at my plans that prompted some serious reevaluation.

This sudden attack of reality shook the foundation of my world-view, so I set out to investigate the compatibility of my assumptions with those of my female colleagues. This was the genesis of my studies in professional female identity and leadership development in psychology.

The more I hear other women's stories and struggles, the more I've become convinced that it IS possible to do all that I have planned to do. But there are some fundamental systemic changes that are prerequisite to women's leadership development and the actuality of doing and having all that we intend and desire.

5Quality mentoring is one of the prerequisites. While mentoring seems to be a universally understood concept, the act of mentoring is a poorly implemented activity. As more and more women continue to enter the professional world of work, increasingly earning advanced degrees and securing higher leadership positions, the mentoring void appears to be growing larger. This phenomenon, coupled with the fact that modern-day mentoring has traditionally been restricted to white men in the business-world, leaves many women privately floundering as they attempt to negotiate the personal and the professional. The current female leaders in psychology are extraordinarily gifted and impressive. They have truly excelled in an environment that, until now, has been protected masculine domain. Most of these women have had to sustain their original level of productivity, enduring the unyielding challenge of having to:

As psychology grows increasingly more feminine, it will no longer just be "nice" or "ideal" to make fundamental and philosophical adjustments to accommodate the large proportion of female psychologists. It will be "necessary" and "required" to revamp and overhaul systems and beliefs to illuminate the leadership talents of professional women.

Having shared my phenomenological observations, perhaps a little robustly, it is important to acknowledge that there are trailblazing women who have been quite successful in beautifully balancing their personal and professional endeavors. I've observed that these women tend to be unquestionably outspoken, opinionated, generally fearless, bright, assertive, competitive, skilled, clever, capable, direct, serious, driven-and many other qualities that are usually positively correlated with successful men, and qualities that are usually negatively correlated with successful women. However, these women are far from masculine or even androgynous - psychologically or otherwise. They are also gentle, kind, open, caring, loving, nurturing, warm, sensitive, creative, collaborative, and a heck of a lot of fun to be around. These women are surrounding us, waiting and willing to mentor female students. I think that all we have to do is ask. Y

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Public Poise and Private Struggles: Intentionally Sharing Our Multiple Selves Through Mentoring

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article originally appeared in the Winter 2001 APAGS Newsletter, Vol 13, No. 1)

By now it should be no secret that my passionate interest in women's professional development issues stem from my own experiences, speculations, observations and beliefs. I've recently been very public and candid with my musings about what seems to be the silent suffering of many accomplished women in psychology. My public risks have been prompted by a few of my encounters, hypotheses and feelings.

First: I was once guilty of idealizing certain respected women whom I admired as role models. To briefly clarify, role models are different from mentors. Role models are those you view from a distance, intending to emulate their public presentation because you see that as appealing. You may never speak to or know a role model, and she may never know you. When I finally had opportunities to meet some of the female role models I idealized, I was sometimes disappointed. Why? Because they had personal and professional flaws, and because of this, they did not meet my imposed expectations. Was this fair to them? Of course not. Was I fair to myself? No. I was creating an unattainable standard of perfection for myself that I projected onto these women, based on fantasy and not reality.

Here's the second reason for some of my public risks: On occasion, I've been the recipient of this same type of idealization. Women my junior and sometimes my peers, have assumed that because I have proven myself worthy and competent in some aspects of my life, I am unblemished in all other areas of my life. Again, with this projected standard of perfection, I've felt inordinately pressured to outperform, outwork, outdo and excel in every realm of my existence. When I've been less than perfect, some of these women have been less than understanding and my credibility has been jeopardized. This has, at times, led to my reactionary isolation with its resultant loneliness, sometimes guardedness, and perhaps even defensiveness and frustration.

The third reason for my public risks: I have come to deeply respect those women in my life who have risked exposing their multiple selves to me, through our mentoring relationships. Because of their willingness to share and invest in me and our relationship in this way, I've developed much more meaningful, authentic, empowering and important relationships with them because of the fact that they can be, and are, simultaneously weak and strong, naïve and savvy, depleted and fulfilled, and sad and delighted.

And fourth: I'm convinced that I am not alone in my experiences. Most women worry about revealing those aspects of themselves that are less than perfect for fear of exposing professional vulnerability. And, this fear is legitimized when some of the professional realities set in - such as: It being difficult to attend to the needs of a husband, partner and/or children while giving the necessary attention to your career in order to reach the level of leadership and professionalism desired. Or, the reality that many jobs remain inflexible for women who wish to become pregnant, work varied hours, or take leaves of absence. And, the continued preference for a masculine work ethic over a more feminine approach.

So, what are we missing as women in psychology? As women have become more competitive academically and professionally, some have developed more emotional distance between themselves and the students they mentor, surrendering to a compartmentalizing approach. When this happens, how do budding female psychologists develop their feminine identities and define themselves as professionals?

I am still shaping my ideas about the elements of a healthy model for female to female mentoring specific to the discipline of psychology. But here are some preliminary assumptions about this evolving theory based upon the questions I've been grappling with:

Female psychologists and those in training must muster the courage to do something different as our roles continue to change. Perhaps that something different is adhering to our femininity in spite of environmental constraints. Maybe we are in a prime position to more aggressively challenge and reconstruct the gender based social structure that has maintained the hierarchical, often infantalizing and patronizing, status-quo. While I acknowledge and appreciate the fact that some change has occurred, thanks to the dedicated efforts of the women who've come before us, I'm admittedly impatient. We should not be satisfied with the status-quo and collectively, we should do something about it. I hope you'll join me by affirming and supporting your female colleagues and mentoring in a new way by intentionally sharing your multiple selves with others. Y

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What Have You Done for YOU Lately

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article originally appeared in the Spring 2001 APAGS Newsletter, Vol 13, No. 2)

Persistent, committed, sacrificing, assiduous, attentive, driven, rigorous, methodical, motivated, high-achieving, validation-seeking, creative, competent, bright, self-critical, perfectionistic...These adjectives, and many like them, probably capture some of the common dispositions of most graduate students, and they have contributed to your success. These are also the key ingredients for stress. As you probably understand well, through your studies in psychology and personal experience, stress is an inevitable phenomenon and it can be both helpful and harmful. When we are exposed to the right amount of stress (which is, of course, entirely subjective), we are able to maintain peak performance. However, when we are exposed to too much stress, a host of negative consequences emerge that may jeopardize our health, happiness, productivity, goals and relationships.

Work with little variation or a high demand for productivity, and recurring pressured deadlines; all over an extended period of time, with few rewards and little recognition, combined with being in a position with minimal power and control, creates stress. Does this sound like graduate school (or internship, postdoctoral training, or your first job as a new psychologist)? Are you now-or have you been-depressed? (Depression is, after all, related to stress.) Are you feeling increasingly angry? (Anger is also associated with stress and depression.) How about tired, lethargic, defeated or apathetic?

I am certainly not trying to elicit these reactions by inquiring, but if you answered yes to these questions, you are probably overdue for some replenishment. It is time to start taking care of you. And, now-regardless of looming deadlines, research proposals, awaiting subjects or clients, dissertation writing, or any other academic or professional activity. This may sound like blasphemy to the typical graduate student. Nevertheless, attempting to perform any of these tasks while feeling overburdened and underappreciated will be ineffectual, at best. With all of the competing demands for your time and attention, the first items postponed or eliminated from a graduate student's "to do" list are usually those that seem self-indulgent or personal. In fact, students who openly share stories about their current adventures in self-care may be subject to others' suspicion, including questioning their level of academic and professional dedication. Upon close examination, you may discover that self-care does not really seem to be encouraged, taught or modeled as much as we think it is.

If asked, "What do you do in your spare time?" you answer, "I don't have spare time," or "I've never really had a chance to think about what I would do in my spare time," or "I read psychology books, write case notes, and conduct literature searches and compile literature reviews for fun"- you are in desperate need of finding ways to take care of you. Stated more bluntly, it is important to start living and enjoying life now, or at least beginning to explore ways to cultivate a fulfilling life that exists outside of academia, psychology or work. This concept probably seems simplistic and it is certainly not a new idea. However, sometimes graduate students are overtly and covertly discouraged from engaging in activities that resemble self-care. This may be difficult for some to admit. However, if you casually survey your environment you will probably find that your classmates, supervisors and faculty are taking on more and more responsibilities, taking less and less care of themselves, and simultaneously discussing the merits and need to take better care of themselves. I am certainly not immune to this "Do as I say and not as I do" pretense. But, I am also ready to practice what I preach. Like I have suggested is the case with mentoring (in some of my previous writings), self-care is a well-understood and universally affirmed concept, but it is a poorly implemented activity. It is never too early to start attending to issues of balance. In fact, developing these skills while in graduate school can only serve you (and the profession) well. So rather than belabor the point, I am going to stop writing and I am going to tend to my flower garden.

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Bursting at the Seams (Carefully)

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article originally appeared in the Summer 2001 APAGS Newsletter, Vol 13, No. 3)

Indulge me for a moment while I provide a brief personal story - it'll all make sense and fit together by the end of this article (I hope). By now you may have guessed that I don't compartmentalize very well (nor do I aspire to). Accordingly, my personal and "life-in-general" musings often cross over into my professional life-and hopefully in appropriate ways. In service to my newfound commitment to self-care and practicing what I preach, I've been exploring potential hobbies and activities. Admittedly, this exploration was primarily a reaction to the utter fear I felt after I tried to respond to questions about what I do for fun and how I take care of myself. I used to be able to readily answer these casual queries with a list of exciting activities, hardly having time to breathe as the words rolled rapidly from my tongue. But, my recent inability to speak and respond to these questions, as if I'd suffered from word-finding difficulties for years, jolted me. For some reason-after the uncomfortable pregnant pause in the conversation-only being able to state that I occasionally rented a good movie and maybe splurged on an expensive bottle of wine to consume while watching the movie, didn't feel very nurturing. Consequently, I set out to "get a life."

Adventures in Self-Care and Creativity

Some of my "get a life" explorations have included: gardening (which I'm discovering I might have a knack for), cooking (I'm learning that I'm not really chef material, but I can follow a recipe), mountain bike riding (a bit of a struggle-especially since my riding partner has basically been spinning since birth), and sewing (I've never sewn before, but I'm considering purchasing a sewing machine-the creative process involved looks like it could be fun). Here's the key connection: While contemplating the addition of sewing to my repertoire of hobbies, I came full circle to drawing analogies between the process of sewing and APAGS. (This is what I'm referring to when I report that I have difficulties with compartmentalization!) Here's how I put the two together conceptually:

While I am certainly not an accomplished seamstress, I do have an appreciation for the creative process involved in selecting fabric, picking patterns, and making something that tangibly reflects the personality and efforts of the designer. I especially marvel at how unique pieces of cloth can be sewn together to form a larger piece of interesting artful work, such as a quilt. Even more impressive is what happens when different individuals choose different pieces of material and combine their efforts to create a quilt. APAGS is truly a beautiful patchwork of difference. Since its inception in 1988, there have been many contributions by many unique individuals that have added to the very fabric, complexity and success of APAGS-making it what it is today. Each APAGS officer, subcommittee chair, subcommittee member, supporter, and staff member has imprinted their gifts of time and talent on the APAGS tapestry. And, our metaphorical quilt is becoming bigger, warmer, more intricate, more encompassing, more inclusive, and absolutely stunning. In fact, our APAGS quilt is bursting at the seams!

This has been another incredible and busy academic year for APAGS-and the best still lies ahead. APAGS has a reservoir full of fantastic ideas and pending projects just waiting for exploitation, but it's hard to know how to prioritize this well of important initiatives, particularly with the limited resources at APAGS' disposal, and with APAGS' commitment to focusing on (and modeling) balance and self-care. Your elected APAGS leaders have been tackling some difficult questions, most importantly, "How should we focus our collective energies on a few noble projects?" and "What should those projects be?" It's clear that we can't do it all.

What Shall We Create and Contribute Next?

APAGS has come a long way in a short period of time. With so many possibilities facing APAGS, it makes the process of selection quite difficult. However, after long and thoughtful deliberation, APAGS is proposing changes to move students and APAGS forward in a way that utilizes the human resources of APAGS directly and effectively. In the past, APAGS was most important because it provided students with a visible and legitimate place in the organizational structure of APA. More visibility and presence was better. The more APAGS and students were seen, the more students were remembered as an important constituency and the better APAGS was able to represent student's perspectives. Functioning within our previous model of being seen and acknowledged as the future of psychology was critical to establishing a permanent place for APAGS at the table. Simply having a presence, and having that presence made official, cannot be underestimated.

APAGS is now ready to be more than just officially present. (In fact, APAGS is stretched to its capacity in terms of sending students to represent APAGS to various groups.) APAGS wants to officially participate. APAGS deserves to officially participate. We've been moving from acceptance to integration, and APAGS is poised for inclusion. Indeed, APAGS has been described by many as a model of inclusion for the APA. With a richly diverse membership of 59,700, we've been able to engender a sense of unity, purpose, respect and appreciation for difference. Even though our integration into the structure of APA has not been seamless, we've learned from our mistakes, and proven that students can make significant contributions when provided the opportunity.

In some ways, APAGS is composed of renegades. Risk taking, innovation, and new behavior is valued and encouraged among students. These very qualities have contributed to the strides APAGS has made over the past 13 years since APAGS was formed. Since past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, it should come as no surprise that APAGS has a strategic plan to continue the forward momentum towards integrated participation. Capitalizing on the collective strengths, history and accomplishments of APAGS, this new generation plans to take their skills and put them to use in the broader organization-in an enduring and precise manner. For example, APAGS would like to be more legitimately involved in organizational decision-making by contributing more equally in APA board and committee endeavors. APAGS desires more prominence and latitude in APA's internal (central office) and external (governance) structure. But adding more APAGS presence or representation does not necessarily yield this result. More is not better in these circumstances. For that reason, your elected APAGS leaders have decided that one way to attain this type of integration-in the most practical and impactful manner-is for APAGS to be granted a voting seat on the APA Board of Directors and on the APA Council of Representatives, thus enabling a influential student voice in APA's democratic process at the highest levels. APAGS has much to offer, with a proven track record of excellence and a host of pioneering ideas awaiting opportunity. APAGS is truly bursting at the seams-and it looks as if we are finding meaningful ways to accommodate this growth, while keeping a careful watch over how we manage it and how we safeguard APAGS and ourselves at the same time. Y

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The Year in Review: Empowerment-Based Fundamentals for a Flourishing Profession

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

(This article was written while I was Chair of APAGS for the Summer 2000 APAGS Newsletter, Vol. 12 No. 3)

During my year-long tenure as APAGS Chair, this newsletter has been one forum to share some political positions, private musings related to uniquely feminine struggles, and my quest to promote equality in opportunity. Clearly, my agenda has been grounded in feminist philosophy and the issues I have addressed are particularly germane to women. Whereas I used gender differences to illustrate several points, my thoughts were situated in an overall theme of honoring, understanding, and accommodating diversity. Another equally important intention was to open a widely public dialogue and create a context for continuing to empower historically disenfranchised groups, which includes students. Until recently, students were commonly viewed as passive recipients of knowledge, distinctly unable and unqualified to influence the trajectory of our discipline. We were often told that there would be plenty of time for activism and the development of leadership skills after receipt of our graduate degree. Meanwhile, critical issues that would shape the future of psychology were being deliberated and a student voice was not always represented in these exchanges. APAGS recognized this problem and began to advocate for change. Our advocacy efforts over the past 12 years have been fruitful. Incrementally, students have been included in decision-making processes that will dictate our professional activity in the future and we have demonstrated that our contributions as emerging psychologists are meaningful and valuable. Today, we are closer to enjoying complete recognition and integration as students, but some issues related to empowerment remain as seemingly impenetrable obstacles. Broadly, these impediments include insufficient promotion of leadership training for students, varieties of imbalance, and stress and self-care.

Leadership Development

The best way to empower students is to train students to be leaders. If our discipline is going to survive and flourish, programs/departments must take responsibility for cultivating the leadership skills in every student. In turn, we must advocate on our campuses for this type of training to happen. Training to become a psychologist requires more than educational activities that develop clinical and research/scientific competence. Academic experiences that encourage active state and national association involvement, activism, legislative lobbying and planning for the future are as vital as current core curricula. Without the integration of leadership training in graduate education, many students will continue to mistakenly believe that "those other people" will do all of the advocacy work, that being a psychologist does not entail political activism, and that psychology will be invulnerable to marketplace trends and our nation's shifting mental health priorities. Each student must learn to think and act like a leader. Is it wise, realistic or ethical to allow training environments to implicitly support passive, compliant and blindly conforming students by failing to nurture leadership skills? This is the risk we take by not empowering students through purposeful leadership training. How can our field evolve and expand if the same leaders are rotating through various positions of power in association governance and making the most crucial decisions? Did you know that in 1999 the proportion of total APA Full Members and Associate Members who were new psychologists was one in seven, while the proportion of total APA Governance members who were new psychologists was one in seventy-one? What happens when our current governance members retire? Will we have been sufficiently prepared and encouraged to assume those leadership roles either early or later in our careers, or even see it as our professional responsibility to do so? Likewise, do we want this large cohort of much-senior psychologists making most of the decisions that will direct our careers? Elinor Smith, aviator and writer, said, "It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely stay back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." Her reflection captures my point.

Varieties of Imbalance

We cannot begin to level the professional playing field for women, minorities and other historically disenfranchised groups if students and new psychologists do not know what to do once we are finally granted a position on the playing field by earning our degree. Leadership training in preparation to join the professional power structure is only one aspect of addressing current imbalances. It is no secret that minority groups are sorely underrepresented in our field, especially in influential positions. Since women comprise the majority of new psychologists and students, why do we not have more women creating the policies that govern our profession? Current rules need revising and present systems require overhauls to accommodate the leadership involvement of women, specifically, as well as people with disabilities, ethnically diverse individuals, and those who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual. The unique deterrents to recruitment, retention, and leadership representation for these groups must be identified and seriously addressed. How can we meet the psychological needs of a demographically diverse nation when our field suffers from leadership homogeneity?

Stress and Self-Care

When imbalance in any form is present, stress ensues. The icon leaders from nontraditional groups may feel isolated, from their leadership cohort as well as the group that they represent, due to their leadership success. As a result, they are likely to work exceptionally hard to represent the voice of their constituency with power, while feeling the need to prove their worthiness for the role. When the fate of an entire unrecognized group rests with the presentation of one or two individuals, tremendous energy is devoted to leadership responsibilities at the expense of self-care. Conversely, the leadership majority is more apt to accept a diffusion of responsibility, thus reducing the pressure to perform and represent exceedingly well. Without discounting the common experience of stress and self-neglect for members of the dominant group, these issues are more pronounced for women and other diverse professionals. We all desire a life of balance and sometimes believe that a successful and active career preempts all possibility for having sufficient time to devote to other important areas of our lives. This no longer has to be true. We have the power to effect systemic change that will create more options, greater understanding, and appropriate accommodation for people who wish to participate in psychology in a different way. If our profession collectively continues to resist change, we will undoubtedly further the disconnection from ourselves and the world around us, and exacerbate the silent suffering and blocked potential of talented diverse individuals. Challenging and reorganizing the leadership beliefs and structures within our profession will ultimately reduce stress and promote inclusion.

If I have communicated the importance of commending and including difference, demonstrating sensitivity, understanding and adjusting to meet women's needs, valuing colleagues through respectful discourse, and caring for ourselves as much as we care for others, all within a framework of empowerment and taking action, I have accomplished my goals for the past year. I sincerely hope that this dialogue will continue and produce positive change.

Bittersweet Transitions

Bittersweet has become a common emotion for me as I have experienced the many developmental changes inherent in graduate education and the transitions I have made through various APAGS positions. This convention issue of the newsletter marks the end of my APAGS Chair year. Normally, I would rotate into the Past-Chair position for next year. However, beginning in August 2000, I will begin a new chapter in my career and involvement with APAGS as the APAGS Associate Executive Director (AED), a new doctoral-level staff position for APAGS at the APA headquarters in Washington DC. I look forward to working with you in my new role.

I am proud and deeply honored to have been entrusted to lead APAGS into the new millennium along with our full APAGS committee. I am excited about launching my career, but I am admittedly sad to leave my current position because of the conversations I have had with some of you through my role, as well as the luxury to work with the impressive individuals that make up our current APAGS committee. While in this position, I have had an important crash-course in "Professional Identity 101" and the privilege to work with a committee of truly remarkable colleagues (turned lifelong friends) who are committed, passionate, talented, humble, collaborative, self-sacrificing and just genuinely good people. They deserve more praise and gratitude than words or recognition can impart.

APAGS has achieved unprecedented success, respect and recognition this year due to the unique composition, cohesiveness, and tireless hard work of our 1999-2000 APAGS Committee: Mitch Prinstein, Marcus Patterson, Derek Snyder, Nabil El-Ghoroury, Diana Salvador, Stacy Carmichael, Roxanne Manning, Tamara Duckworth, Chris Loftis, Jane Crawford-Miller, Danelle Reed-Inderbitzin, Alette Coble, Nina Ghiselli, and Corey Habben. Our initiatives would not have become realities without the assistance of our expert APA Central Office staff: Nancy Forest, Jennifer Fleming and Abby Ross. I have appreciated the opportunity to Chair APAGS and advocate for students and psychology. I also look forward to the new lessons I will learn in my role as AED. I am confident that psychology's future is in very capable hands with the visionary and gracious leadership of each committee member named above. Y

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Putting the "Self" Back Into "Care"

Diana Salvador, MA
APAGS Member at Large, General Focus

(This article first appeared in the Spring 2001 APAGS Newsletter, Vol. 13, No 2)

During my first year of graduate school, I will never forget the words of one of my supervisors, Lew Gantwerk, PsyD (Rutgers, Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology) who said "the work habits you develop now will set the stage for your professional career". He added that although students readily accept and anticipate the rigors of graduate school, they often share a common misconception that life will go back to normal when they have their degree in hand. Unfortunately, many discover that professional life is no different from the years spent in training. Are we really surprised by this observation, or don't we allow ourselves to think about it?

It is ironic that although many of us are guided by a strong desire to help others, we do so at the expense of our own personal self care. Many students are enticed and challenged by academia and strive to not only pass, but to shine. For those who are less concerned with the evaluative aspect of graduate education, they fall prey to the competitive nature of the field and the market place. It is hard not to. In today's market, many students are finding that they must set themselves apart from what is considered the "average" graduate student. Is it possible to meet the challenges of graduate school and also make a personal decision to take care of ourselves?

Our personal decisions are only partly to blame for this phenomenon. The culture of education and training in most disciplines does not emphasize self-care for students. For the average student, meeting deadlines and chipping away at degree requirements often involves working long hours at the expense of sleep, exercise, good eating habits, and leisure activities. By the time students emerge from their program, some are already burnt out. Others become disenchanted by yet another set of challenges facing new professionals: meeting licensing requirements, gaining expertise in entry level positions, publishing, developing teaching expertise, and/or gaining a foothold in a particular area of research. Loan repayments and relocation issues can exacerbate these existing stressors. Many students and new professionals wonder, does it ever end? No. Unfortunately, for many, achieving success at these various crossroads seems to breed higher expectations and yes, more opportunities. How can we as students turn down opportunity, opportunity that we have been working so hard for?

In a recent study conducted by APAGS that surveyed 90 students from professional programs across the nation, it was found that 82% of students identified self care as one of their top priorities. These results are encouraging and suggest that students have a strong desire to maintain strong self care habits and/or develop new ways to take better care of themselves. While the realities of graduate school and the field in general are stable, our personal approach to our training and education is more fluid. I encourage you to begin developing healthy strategies for dealing with the rigors of graduate training and education now. Set the stage for your professional development by allowing yourself to take time for your own personal self care. After all, how can we help others if we can't help ourselves? Y

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APAGS Joins the Effort to Counter Distress and Impairment in the Profession

Michael F. O'Connor, PhD
Chair, APA Advisory Committee on Colleague Assistance

(This article first appeared in the Summer 2001 APAGS Newsletter, Vol. 13, No. 3)

This article is intended to introduce the Advisory Committee on Colleague Assistance (ACCA) to those of you who are not familiar with us, and to highlight our increased cooperative efforts with APAGS. ACCA is a committee of the APA Board of Professional Affairs. ACCA's purpose is threefold: 1) to provide information and assistance designed to prevent and ameliorate professional distress and impairment and their consequences among psychologists; 2) to foster and provide applicable resources via linkages to APA divisions, State Associations and Psychology Boards and, thereby; 3) to better protect the public from harm caused by impaired psychologists. Here, "distress" refers to the psychologist's personal experience of stress, anxiety, depression, dread, exhaustion or other emotional states that may trouble and/or distract the psychologist in the course of his/her work. Impairment on the other hand refers to "impairment of the ability to practice according to acceptable and prevailing standards of care" (Ohio Administrative Code, Ch. 4731-16, p.84). Distress may or may not be impairing, in this context.

One might ask why a committee of this kind is necessary. After all, psychologists know all about the importance and management of mental health, right? There are many reasons Psychology needs to attend to professional distress and impairment. Our developmental backgrounds may predispose us to seek a helping profession, but may also make us more vulnerable to certain kinds of problems. The occupational hazards of psychology as a profession are also numerable, including vicarious traumatization and burnout. Psychologists, when surveyed, consistently report distress and other problems over the course of their careers, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse and other concerns, at rates near or exceeding those of the general public. In fact, OSHA has found male psychologists to have the highest suicide rate of any profession.

These problems can obviously affect the work and personal lives of psychologists extensively. Such problems also impact those who seek our services, including clients, staff, students and trainees. Psychologists with problems may be more likely to turn to those we serve to meet personal needs, sometimes with terrible consequences for all concerned. As many psychologists work in relative isolation, our problems and their impact may go largely unnoticed.

We abide by an ethical code that requires us to appropriately address personal problems before they impact others. There's also the point that we can deservedly benefit from the help we offer others every day. Whether or not we choose to address these issues in professional forums or training environments, the public has been alerted, by such reports as those of the Cleveland Plain Dealer' series published last year. This series was highly critical of the way in which psychologists' impairment and professional abuses are managed. Increasingly, this affects the way in which we are viewed-and trusted-by the public.

ACCA's primary method for addressing these concerns is via education. We are delighted with our increased involvement with APAGS for this and other reasons. Students, in addition to representing the future of psychology, also have unique personal and professional characteristics that make them a particularly important target audience for ACCA. Learning early in one's career to manage personal distress and occupational problems effectively sets the stage for a healthy and thriving profession. Students also offer a rich and varied perspective that is typically fresh and forthright, given the opportunity for expression. The profession can learn from you. Y

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Announcing a New APAGS Listserv FOR and ABOUT Female Psychology Student Issues!

(Of course, men and nonstudents are welcome to join, too!)

The APAGSWOMEN list was created to provide a forum for the discussion of issues related to women balancing their personal and professional lives, as psychology graduate students. It is hoped that particular attention will be paid to:

This list is not intended to be a form of online group psychotherapy. However, it is hoped that list subscribers will be able to share their stories of struggles and joys as they relate to women's personal and professional development, and that list members will provide support, encouragement, ideas, and access to opportunities and information.

I have a longstanding interest in the professional development of women in psychology and have written a collection of articles on this topic for the APAGS Newsletter, since the Fall of 1999. To review these articles please contact the APAGS office, or you may access many of them (and others that are like them) on the APAGS Web site at: http://www.apa.org/apags

This list was developed for APAGS and the issues identified above provide the framework for list discussions. The list is open to women, men, students and psychologists alike. We welcome and appreciate respectful discourse.

After your initial subscription to the listserv, please introduce yourself to the list and join the discussion. Here are some things you may want to consider sharing about yourself in your introduction:

Looking forward to a rewarding discussion and online connection to each of you,

Carol Williams-Nickelson, PsyD
Associate Executive Director, APAGS

APAGSWOMEN List Moderator

To join APAGSWOMEN send an email message to: listserv

In the body of the message, write:

SUBSCRIBE APAGSWOMEN

followed by your full name.

For example:
SUBSCRIBE APAGSWOMEN Carol Williams-Nickelson

Omit a subject line and a signature line in the message.