THE
PROPHET MARGIN:
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“It seems that we have it
backward in our society. We tend to look up to people who are under a
great deal of stress, who can handle loads of stress, and those who are
under a great deal of pressure.” With demands in the workplace steadily increasing and technology providing instant access to employees regardless of time and place, work-life balance (or rather, the lack thereof) has become a growing concern in our society. Although definitions of work-life balance vary, common elements among these definitions include the notion of equality between experiences in both work and other (e.g., family) roles, as well as high levels of satisfaction and effectiveness among these roles. Lack of work-life balance (e.g., work-family conflict) has been associated with various negative outcomes such as job dissatisfaction, increased likelihood of mental illness, marital dissatisfaction, burnout, job turnover, and general life stress (Adams, King, & King, 1996; Allen, Herst, Bruck, & Sutton, 2000; Frone et al., 1992b; Frone, 2000; Parasuraman, Purohit, Godshalk, & Beutell, 1996). Therefore, there is an obvious need to help employers and employees alike find positive solutions to the “work-life challenge.” In order to gain insight into how consultants tackle the issue of work-life balance with clients and in their own lives, I posed the following questions to three consultants and members of Division 13.
1.
What are the greatest obstacles to achieving work-life balance among the
clients you’ve worked with? Time. In my experience, clients are often painfully aware of their own needs for a balance between work and non-work activities. They often cannot find enough hours in the day to balance work demands with family, social and recreational activities, however. This increases stress, guilt, etc. A client recently made this statement, which I think captures this pressure accurately: “I constantly feel guilty that I’m disappointing everybody. Even though I work 10 or more hours a day, there’s always more to be done. And when I get home, I feel like my family has been waiting for me for hours and I don’t have enough time with them.” Accessibility. In our Blackberry/cellphone/wireless era, we are constantly accessible. Most of my clients are now accessible virtually every waking hour of the day, from the breakfast table to the car to the gym to the bedroom. This interferes with much-needed time for decompression, self-reflection, recreation and socialization. At the same time, this constant accessibility reinforces a cycle of high expectations; if you respond to an email from your boss at 10PM, she is likely to think you are available at 10PM for emails in the future. Aspirations. While having high aspirations is an important element in growing as an individual and an employee, sometimes “getting ahead” takes precedence over other priorities. There can be an implicit pressure, even within organizations, that personal lives should be ‘sacrificed’ (at least for a time) for career advancement. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of sacrificing personal time for this project or that request; the challenge becomes, where does one draw the line? A psychological need for productivity. In Erikson’s psychosocial stages, “generativity vs. stagnation” occurs from ages 25-64 (E. Erikson, Childhood and Society, 1950). This is the time when we aim for productivity in an effort to create something for the next generation. Our current business norm (and our professional culture) is “stagnophobic” (I made this word up, I think!); that is, business people tend to fear not being busy enough, becoming stagnant, and then somehow losing their “place” in the achievement race. What people (and businesses) fail to recognize is that the other end of the spectrum is just as damaging; being too “generative” can lead individuals to overextend themselves, over-commit, burn out, etc. A long-standing pattern of self-sacrifice. Clients with this pattern have learned early on to put others’ needs first. They are engaged, responsible and responsive leaders who can be counted on to contribute 150%. Yet, when it comes to allocating time, they forget to put themselves in the equation -- or feel uncomfortable doing so, or believe that extreme sacrifice is just part of leadership. And, it’s possible that their organization views it that way as well. Not valuing renewal. This is what Boyatzis and McKee discuss in Resonant Leadership and often goes hand-in-hand with self-sacrifice. Clients in this group typically relish the pace, pressure and demands of leadership. They tend to believe that acknowledging or succumbing to stress is a sign of weakness. So they take short vacations, if at all, and are constantly “on call” by phone, email or Blackberry. They value their “toughness,” yet don’t see their sleep problems, irritability, overeating, headaches and high blood pressure as signs from their body of an imbalance in their approach. Again, this may be the organization’s attitude as well, which reinforces the client’s perspective. A belief that there should be a “balance.” Clients with this belief tend to be high-achievers. They are at work 60+ hours, on frequent travel, represent the company at numerous events, spend substantial time with direct reports on career development, to name a few activities. They also expect themselves to be home for dinner, albeit late; attend their children’s sports and school activities; get their children off to school in the morning; have a social life; spend time with extended family, etc --- all at the same time and enjoying it to boot. They don’t have a concept of “life as juggling”-- that sometimes work is front and center; sometimes it’s your child’s knee surgery, and sometimes it’s the family vacation that’s paramount. The other items have to be juggled – placed in the background or even dropped temporarily. These expectations for achieving balance can have a significant emotional and physical cost. Competing Needs. Many of my clients operate under outrageous pressure to achieve results, with huge goals that they set for themselves or are set for them. These goals, and the potential for financial or professional rewards, are often given more weight than personal or family needs.
Doing things right. Many clients struggle with inefficiency in how they get things done. While business goals may be clear, often there is not enough focus on setting objectives and then aggressively prioritizing among them. So much time and energy is misspent due to problems here.
Doing the right things. While inefficiency is an easy target, many clients stumble by not asking questions about the bases for their choices. One client recently realized that a time-consuming and dreaded reporting activity only required about 30% of the effort and precision he had been devoting to it for years! A more fruitful conversation ensued about why that approach had seemed so important.
The Big Picture. When taking the 30,000 foot view, some clients realize that their issues stem from deeper confusions or a mismatch in their choices of job or career. Others discover that their over-attention to work is really a disguise- a workaholic response to unresolved conflicts dressed up as a work-life balance issue.
Conduct a gap analysis. I often conduct this exercise with my clients:
Action plan. The type of exercise aligned above can cause stress. A businessperson may feel guilty and anxious that she is not following her internal priorities. It is important to take this anxious energy and transfer it into something productive. Help her create concrete, specific goals (a la SMART goals) in order to start driving new behaviors. Ensure these are actionable and result in sustained behavioral change. Anticipate bumps along the road. Family systems teach us that homeostasis is important in families; it is also important for work families and organizations. Whenever an individual tries to make a change, there will be natural resistance and effort to regain equilibrium. Ensure the client is aware that this might happen, and where possible, plan for it. For example, if a client has been traditionally staying at the office until 7PM each night, leaving at 5 may throw off the hours kept by other associates, etc. Suddenly, there may be a spike in the number of “crises” that arise around 4PM. Help the client set clear boundaries and make other arrangements for dealing with the crises; i.e., increase early day planning sessions, greater frequency of one-on-one meetings to cover relevant issues, etc. It will be important that the individual maintain consistency in his behavior in order to reset norms and expectations. Find success in something outside of work. Oftentimes, clients can get lured into work because there are tangible links to success: increased profitability, higher PPS (profit per share); reduced staffing turnover, etc. People do not always find this to be the case at home; a client may be a powerful decision-maker at the office, yet find her household runs quite well without her. It is important that we work with such a client to help her identify something that will give her a sense of achievement outside of work. Perhaps it is a sport a client has never tried or a hobby she long put down. Whatever the case, make sure it is something that provides both inspiration and satisfaction outside of work. Lynne
Hornyak I like tools that allow clients to see the tensions, the benefits and costs of their choices in a visible, tangible way. Some tools that I use:
I generally look at three areas: efficiency, fulfillment, and health. Efficiency: I often start with helping people work smarter. We look at business goals, roles and procedures, guided by Beckhard’s GRPI model. As the client works to align these, we often work to optimize processes: prioritizing, focusing effort, delegating, etc... I help clients identify what I call “bugaboo behaviors” – patterns and habits that catch them up and don’t serve their best interest. We also keep an eye out for the “shiny, moving objects” of worklife, like the incessant chime of incoming emails that pull people off track. These stimuli can spur true addictive behaviors... with or without a “crackberry” to accelerate the process. Fulfillment: Questions with deeper meaning and fulfillment help cut through to what really matters... a person’s life goals and passions. Whenever possible, I help clients align aspects of work with their abiding interests. Many busy people also lose track of the rejuvenating benefits of recreation, especially activities the client experiences as joyful and fulfilling, not just entertaining. Volunteering and community service serves this purpose for some, and can do an amazing job of re-aligning priorities that have gone astray. Health: For dramatic or persistent issues, I pay close attention to any signs of underlying illness. In these cases, I encourage visits to health care providers to rule out both physical and mental health issues.
Phone: 781.393.8964 Email: michael@maderapartners.com www.maderapartners.com
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Ann Evangelista
Lynne
M. Hornyak, Ph.D., PCC is a
clinical psychologist and coach who brings over twenty-three years of
experience as a therapist, educator, trainer and author to her work in
personal leadership development. She maintains a full-time coaching and
consulting practice in Washington, DC., working both in person and by
telephone. Her clients are professional men and women including corporate
executives, entrepreneurs, senior-and mid-level managers and other
professionals. In addition to maintaining a thriving therapy practice for
eighteen years, she has worked as the director of a mental health clinic,
taught psychology courses at the Pentagon, conducted workshops and
trainings in her specialty areas, and edited two professional books.
Michael D. Madera, Psy.D.
Dr. Adrianne McVeigh holds a Doctoral degree in Clinical
Psychology from the University
of