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SPSMM Bulletin Deadlines: January 31, April 30, July 31, October 31


Mid-Winter and Beyond: The Men's Division Is Reaching Out and Making Connections

James F. Dean, PhD

One of the hallmarks of the men's movement has been a focus on men emphasizing their abilities for affiliative pursuits to complement traditional concerns for male competence. It is no secret that our division is bulging at the seams with members who demonstrate extraordinary levels of personal competence. Many of our members are leaders in promoting psychological health for boys, men, and all persons. A project which our division should undertake is to perform a bibliography of all the contributions which have already been made to the literature by members of Division 51 (SPSMM). The list is remarkable. Equally amazing is the ability of the members of our division to display a commitment to helping and working with others.

Our members have demonstrated their ability to extend themselves to a wide range of projects within and outside of the psychological community. The warmth and collegiality shown throughout Division 51 meetings have always especially impressed me. Our division is a place where intimacy is able to flourish. One only has to attend a Division 51 men's retreat to feel this intimacy. Time and time again I have heard myself and others say that Division 51 is my home within APA. The degree of cooperation and cohesiveness among our members is a model of how groups of people need to work together. In this vein, I have focused this column on reaching out and affiliating with other divisions and groups within APA. Division 51 is actively involved in forming partnerships with other groups within APA to advance men's issues and to commit to projects, which benefit society as a whole.


Efforts to promote diversity are one of the areas in which the division has decided to join forces with others to accomplish joint ends. The National Multicultural Conference and Summit II held in Santa Barbara, California on January 25-26, 2001 was a smashing success. This conference was hosted by Divisions 17 (Counseling), 35 (Women), 44 (Lesbian and Gay Issues), and 45 (Ethnic Minority Issues). Division 51 joined in with a host of other divisions (9, 12, 16, 27, 29, 39 Section 1, 43, 6, 13, 47, 48, and 49) and other groups to make a statement as to the importance of inclusion for all. Ron Levant, Gary Brooks, and Glenn Good (three of Division 51's founding fathers) were participants during this conference. All present were stimulated and emotionally moved by this meeting.

We are continuing our involvement with Divisions 17, 22, 35, 42, 44, and 45 to work together to develop meaningful strategies for promoting increased diversity within APA. Only 6% of the APA membership are Black, Latino, Asian, or American Indian. Ideas proposed in the past by Mark Kiselica, Mike Andronico, and others need to be brought to fruition. The division has a fairly large number of student members. Mentoring by our members of students has been something that has been occurring but could occur on a more widespread or systematic basis.We could reach out to persons of color in particular and provide mentoring opportunities to these members. One idea would be to identify some students and offer them scholarships to attend or present at the APA National Convention. New professionals could also be provided scholarships for promoting multiculturalism. Let us all offer support to the Diversity Task Force chaired by Mark Kiselica in these endeavors.

Social Issues

Although at times controversial, SPSMM has always clearly aligned itself with social justice and socially conscious objectives. From the very start of our society we have identified ourselves as pro-feminist, anti-racist, and as gay-affirmative. We have also always been willing to advocate for promoting the welfare of disabled individuals. This socially conscious perspective provides us with many opportunities for reaching out and connecting with many other constituencies within APA. For example, Division 51 has joined with Divisions 35, 43, 44, and 45 as part of the Interdivisional Task Force on Relationship Violence. This task force which is chaired by Michele Harway is working towards developing a curriculum toward teaching about relationship or domestic violence. Jim O'Neill is coordinating our involvement with this task force and work has been moving along.

At the Multicultural Summit, Roberta Nutt was instrumental in getting Division 51 invited to a meeting of 10 divisions (17, 35, 51, 43, 44, 45, 22, 27, 39, and 48) to talk about matters of common interest. There were several interesting developments arising from this meeting. First, a proposal was made for these 10 divisions to share information about members of their respective divisions who were nominated for various APA committees. This information is going to be shared by E-mail and Neil Massoth is going to represent our division in this endeavor. Nominees who are identified as social justice candidates will be presented with asterisks by their names. The Division 51 Board at the January 2001 Mid-winter meeting nominated three of our members for APA committees. Doug Haldeman was nominated to serve on the Ethics Committee. Michele Harway was nominated for the Board for the Advancement of Psychology in the Public Interest, and Roberta Nutt for the Committee for the Advancement of Professional Practice.

Secondly, our division was invited to submit a proposal to join the Committee of 8 which is a coalition of eight divisions which got together at the first Multicultural Summit to advocate for social issues. A proposal from Division 51 requesting our inclusion in this coalition has been sent in to one of the co-chairs (Ken Maton) of the Committee of 8.

Professional Practice

A third area, which offers opportunities for Division 51 to collaborate and reach out to other divisions, is in the professional practice arena. Our division offers a unique blend of practice and scholarship. We are truly a blend of academicians and practitioners. Division members have already made significant contributions to the literature pertaining to practice with boys and men. For example, Mark Kiselica and Andy Horne have published extensively on counseling issues with adolescents and boys. Will Courtney along with others is making significant contributions to men's health issues. Also, Gary Brooks and Glenn Good just published a book they edited titled A New Handbook of Psychotherapy and Counseling for Men.

The Practice Directorate is currently in the process of reaching out to the divisions to tap into their expertise. To this end all of the practice division presidents have been invited to the upcoming State Leadership Conference in Washington, DC, March 10-13, 2001. Since many of the membership of Division 51 pay the practice assessment, our division is considered a practice division. I plan to attend this Conference which will allow me to share with others the many areas of expertise our division has to offer. This meeting will also provide Division 51 an opportunity to collaborate with other divisions and states to advance practice initiatives.

An important area in which SPSMM can offer input and expertise is in the area of helping boys. With the recent concerns in violence among youth, our members are already making major contributions in this area. For example, Bill Pollack's Real Boys book. APA is currently making children's health issues a major priority. The Practice Directorate recently hired Ron Palomares to serve as the Assistant Executive Director, Policy and Advocacy in the Schools. This office is charged with the task of highlighting the need for psychological services for children. There is a coalition of child practice divisions {16 (School), 37 (Children, Youth and Families), 43 (Family), 53 (Child Clinical), and 54 (Pediatric)}. Mary Campbell, Children, Youth, and Families Officer in the Public Interest Directorate, has been contacting this coalition to present information at the APA Working Group on Children's Mental Health's meeting on March 1-3, 2001. I contacted Mary Campbell to advise her that Division 51 has long concerned itself with the issue of raising healthy boys. Mary Campbell is going to share this information at the March meeting. State Leadership will provide an opportunity for me to approach the child practice division coalition and offer Division 51's expertise.

I would like to see Division 51 organize or spearhead an initiative this year related to boy's health. Ron Levant and Gary Brooks currently co-chair the Task Force on Boys and Adolescents. Ron has already indicated an interest in working on something this year. One idea advanced at the Mid-winter meeting was to focus on academic achievement for boys and to try to get some public education, similar to the MTV forums on youth violence, underway. If anybody has any ideas along these lines or anything else pertaining to boys, please contact Ron Levant or myself.

Other News

Division 51 had its Mid-winter meeting in Santa Barbara, California on January 27-28, 2001 immediately following the National Multicultural Summit. Santa Barbara is beautiful and the meeting was as usual a success. Thanks to Gary Brooks and Mike Andronico for facilitating SPSMM's Ninth Men's Retreat. If you have never participated in one of these retreats, you owe it to yourself to attend a Mid-winter meeting to attain this experience. It was great to hear participants' concerns. Mark Stevens focused us on white male entitlement and Moshe Rozdzial (current Co-Chair of the NOMAS National Council) provided poignant comments pertaining to the group process. One thought I brought away from the Multicultural Summit is the need to make or set aside time for relating to others instead of always focusing on work. The men's retreat and the Saturday night dinner allowed SPSMM members to build on their relationships with each other.

The Division 51 Board meeting was on Sunday. Sam Cochran, our president-elect, has done a great job setting up a slate of candidates for leadership positions in 2002. Sam will be chairing an important committee on strategic planning and is working on our 2002 Mid-winter meeting. Fred Rabinowitz has agreed to be the 2002 Program Chair. June Blum has agreed to be our liaison to Division 39. And as always we want to attract new members. So reach out to your friends and colleagues and have them join the best division in APA. As always you can contact me anytime at 718-768-0422 or deannyc@jps.net. And remember to stay connected.


A View of the News

Jim Mahalik, PhD

Getting to know the people involved in Division 51 has been a great opportunity to see how a group of people with many different interests can find a home in an organization that critically examines issues related to masculinity. A very partial list of the many interests represented in the division include addressing men's health, boys and adolescent males, violence, homophobia, and the role of fathers to name a few.

It encourages me that people in the division have such interests and expertise because after watching last Sunday's local news, I more firmly believed that this division has much to say and could do much to address many issues in the United States. Specifically, after watching the local news it was clear to me how the constraining effects of masculine socialization are ingrained and unchallenged in society.

For example, the tragic death of Dale Earnhardt in the last lap of the Daytona 500 led the coverage. "The Intimidator" as he was nicknamed among his fans and competitors had a very tough persona on the racetrack but was apparently quite a devoted father, supportive friend, and genuinely warm hearted person. However, Mr. Earnhardt chose not to wear the HANS device (head and neck support) when he raced even though it was available to him and is a required restraint in several other racing circuits. Medical examiners concluded that this device would have saved his life. Thus, his risk-taking within a risk-taking sport further contributed to the disparity between men and women's average lifespan.

The second story that Sunday was about two boys from Vermont accused of murdering two professors at Dartmouth College. As the anchor introduced the story, she used the phrase "yet another tragedy where boys commit senseless violence." What was most troubling to me about the report, though, was the way in which the anchors and other reporters seemed to have become accustomed to this story line. It seems that since we have been bombarded with so many stories of boys and disgruntled employees-almost always men-committing murder that we are increasingly numb to these events. My concern is that we are implicitly accepting the inevitability of male violence and not questioning or challenging those forces that shape it.

In the interest of space and the reader's time, I will skip over the story about Eminem and the most recent reports of the former President's abuse of power and marital infidelity. Instead, I want to discuss a local story that is likely to be a national one soon. Namely, the current governor of Massachusetts is being named to be ambassador to Canada and our Lieutenant Governor, Jane Swift, will become acting Governor.

As Ms. Swift happens to be pregnant with twins, the "news" story, and the media questions during the "person on the street" interviews on television and in the papers, focuses exclusively on "how is she going to be able to handle new babies and the job as Governor?" Let me be clear that I believe it is going to be a very difficult time for the acting Governor as a parent of small children in the demanding role of being Governor. Having said that, however, I firmly believe that if the acting Governor was a man and was going to be a new father to twins, there would be no story. Secondly, what is alarming to me is the fact that no media person or "person on the street" has mentioned her husband as possibly being involved in the raising of the children-let alone being the primary caretaker. It is as if he has been relegated to the status of some inert presence in his home that will passively respond to his wife's raising of the children while she governs the Commonwealth. Thus, both the fact that this would not be a news story if the acting Governor were a man, and how every party discussing the story assumes that the father will not be involved, points clearly to the unspoken understanding that fathers are peripheral in the raising of their children.

After turning off the television, I decided that what was especially scary to me was how these assumptions about masculinity in these news stories stay unchallenged and the negative effects of masculinity that contribute to these stories get accepted as inevitable. We need to bring these issues to consciousness with our communities, organizations, classrooms, clients, and colleagues and challenge those forces that shorten men's lives, let "boys be boys," speak hate against homosexuals, and put men on the sidelines in the lives of their children. Talk to a friend of yours who shares your values about these issues and ask him or her to join us in this work. There is plenty to do and this is a great group of people to join with in the work.

Division 51 Candidates

Candidates for President

Corey J. Habben . President

There are roughly 150,000 members of APA, and there is not one individual whose life is not affected by the psychology of men. This is one of the many reasons why I believe the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity is so special . . . and so very important.

In 1995, Ron Levant's words "Masculinity is at a turning point" grabbed me and energized me to such an extent that I felt I had to get involved with this new APA division called "SPSMM" as a young student. As you will note when you read my requisite qualifications below, I have since called SPSMM my home. I have gotten to know the individuals who have contributed in different ways to our understanding of the psychology of men and I have watched SPSMM evolve over the years. And yet, I still cannot help but be very excited by this simple truth: SPSMM is also at a turning point.

There are new generations of professionals, individuals, students who have yet to be grabbed and energized by the very thing that has grabbed us. There are so many new frontiers of research, practice, and understanding that have yet to be embarked upon. There are whole new audiences, whose lives are touched by the psychology of men, we have yet to reach.

In the early years of SPSMM, the biggest question was "Can we create this APA division and make it work?" With that question successfully answered, it is now time to focus on expanding- expanding our knowledge, expanding our audience, expanding the way we touch the lives of men and women everywhere. It is time for SPSMM to take the psychology of men to "the next level." If you share my vision, I will energetically serve as a catalyst as president of SPSMM.

I have served as your Chair of your Membership Committee for the last two years. Prior to that, I served as Student Coordinator for three years. In 1997, I was honored to be one of the first recipients of the SPSMM "Student of the Year" award. My most recent collaboration is a book chapter on rural men (in press) co-authored with Ron Levant. I have also been quite active with APA, serving on APAGS for four years as chair of two different committees and as a member of several APA task forces as a representative of new psychologists and students (most recently, the APA Commission on Training and Education Leading to Licensure). Through those experiences with APA boards and committees, I learned that you only need a voice and a good message to be heard and facilitate change for the better. SPSMM has the good message, and I will gladly be the voice.

There are nearly 300 million people in the United States and billions more throughout the world . . . and yet we are all touched, directly and indirectly, positively and negatively, by the psychology of men. SPSMM is at a turning point, a point at which we can better understand the psychology of men, share this understanding with a larger audience, and include more individuals to join us in the process. I would be honored to be a part of taking SPSMM to the next level as president.

Roderick D. Hetzel . President

I was recently asked to run for President-Elect of SPSMM and it is with a combination of excitement and humility that I accept this nomination. Within our relatively brief history, we have created a professional "home" that has allowed us to pursue our scholarly interests within a supportive and encouraging environment. I feel truly fortunate to count the members of this division as my colleagues and friends. In this respect, I am excited by the challenges that lie ahead, yet humbled when I think of the footsteps in which I would follow. There are three primary areas that I believe will need our continued attention: scholarship, organizational development, and social advocacy.

First, we need to continue to support and produce high quality scholarship in the area of men and masculinity. We have only just begun to explore the complex theoretical, empirical, and clinical issues associated with men and masculinity. It is important that we continue to promote healthy conceptions of masculinity and foster the health and well-being of men. To further develop our understanding of men and masculinity, we need to continue to produce scholarship that is based on sound theory, conducted with methodological rigor, and driven by clinical and practical considerations. I believe it is particularly important to begin to develop empirically supported treatments for men in various clinical settings. As President-Elect I will help to develop division-wide research teams and think tanks, consisting of practitioners and academics, that encourage scholarly thinking in the psychology of men. I will also work to encourage the mentorship of young professionals in scholarly endeavors.

Second, on an organizational level, we need to continue to expand our presence within the APA as well as other professional settings related to men and masculinity. As President-Elect I will continue to help SPSMM develop and sustain ties with those who share similar missions. One way to do this is through the appointment of liaisons to other APA divisions and professional organizations and through affiliation and collaboration on shared issues. While reaching out beyond our membership, we also need to remain responsive to and supportive of the needs of our own growing membership. Continued diversity (including diversity in gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, disability/ability status, and religious/spiritual orientation) among our membership should also be given the highest priority. We are a voice of inclusion and acceptance in a broader society that is often polarizing and contentious. As President-Elect I will actively encourage the theme of unity through diversity.

Third, we need to increase our visibility in the public arena as social advocates for men and masculinity. Our society is confronted by such problems as domestic violence, sexual assault, parenting problems, and substance abuse, to name but a few. These are all examples of areas in which SPSMM members could contribute their knowledge and expertise. The public is increasingly looking for support and guidance in dealing with these difficult social issues. A number of our members have already been outspoken advocates for men and SPSMM needs to continue to develop effective strategies for communicating information to the broader society. As President-Elect I will encourage public information campaigns as a first-step in reducing misinformation and educating the public.

My background? Presently I am on the faculty at Rochester Institute of Technology. The majority of my clinical and research work has focused on issues related to men's health, particularly men struggling with chronic medical conditions. Within SPSMM, I serve as the Chair of the Research Funding Task Force, Co-Chair of the Men and Health Task Force, and as liaison to Divisions 22 (Rehabilitation Psychology) and 38 (Health Psychology). Further, I am a previous recipient of the Division 51 Student of the Year Award. Outside SPSMM, I have been involved with the Men's Health Network and Men's Healthline. I have enjoyed the organizational and administrative aspects of my work as much as I enjoy my clinical and research endeavors.

In summary, I find the study of men and masculinity to be deeply rewarding on both a professional and personal level and am very honored to be nominated for President-Elect of SPSMM. If I am elected, I commit myself to do my very best to serve you and SPSMM. I believe that as a division we have many exciting challenges and opportunities ahead of us. Let us continue together in this process!

Candidates for Treasurer

Michele Harway . Treasurer

As a member of Division 51 since its inception, I am honored to be nominated for the treasurer slate. For those of you who do not know me, let me introduce myself briefly: Ever since I can remember, I have been sensitive to power issues and to social inequality. However, I have changed a great deal since my early days, as a young feminist. Over the years, I have come to realize that gender-roles keep all of us stuck and diminish the human capacity of most of us. My now 20-year-old son has provided a living laboratory for me to view the overwhelming impact of the culture on one's gender-role identity. Becoming a man has been a major struggle for him as he alternates between his inherent kind and sensitive nature (and the values his parents have taught him) and the macho teachings of the youth culture. I hope he is finally reaching manhood without too many scars, but it certainly has been a painful process!

On a professional level, I often work with families affected by domestic violence and many of my publications have addressed how men's violence towards women affects all family members. Learning to empathize with perpetrators of domestic violence is a necessary step for effective treatment and I am thankful to those whose understanding of the issue have informed my work.

Regarding the office for which I have been nominated, I tell you up front that I have no formal experience as treasurer. However, I am the keeper of the family budget and family bill payer; I regularly underspend my budget at work; and last year as Division 43 president, I spent only 1/3 of my allocated budget. I cannot promise you that I can single-handedly turn around Division 51's tight financial situation, but I sure am willing to try. And I know that no matter what the outcome of the election or of the budget, I am one of Division 51's fervent supporters!

Fred Rabinowitz . Treasurer

I am honored to be nominated for the position of Treasurer for the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity. I have enjoyed the camaraderie and support in this division on a personal and professional level and feel it is important to give back and serve. SPSMM has been fortunate to have James Campbell in this position for several years. His dedication to the division, competency in accounting, and his commitment to fairness have kept the financial end of SPSMM functioning responsibly.

If elected, I will continue the legacy of responsible fiscal management for our division. I look forward to working with the SPSMM leadership and membership to ensure that policies involving the financial cornerstones of Division 51 are cared for in a fair, equitable, and accountable manner. As someone who takes responsibility seriously, I promise to approach problems with openness, flexibility, and concerted effort. I feel prepared for the role of Treasurer having had previous experience as a budget manager in my professional positions as Department Chair of the Psychology Department of the University of Redlands, Director of the Study Abroad Program in Salzburg, Austria, and Director of the Community Mental Health Center in Redlands. I also served as the Chair of the Standing Committee for Men in the American College Personnel Association in the early 1990s, a position that also involved fiduciary management.

In terms of my academic and clinical background in the field, I received my doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Missouri-Columbia in 1984. I am currently a Full Professor of Psychology at the University of Redlands in California. I have also maintained a private practice specializing in men's issues that has included "innovative" approaches to individual and group psychotherapy.

Over the years, I have presented at APA and other conferences symposia and papers on the topic of men's issues. These have included men and depression, men and psychotherapy, and innovative approaches to working with men. I have also written and co-written articles and book chapters in these primary areas. Sam Cochran and I have co-written three books: Man Alive: A Primer of Men's Issues in 1994 published by Brooks/Cole, Men and Depression: Clinical and Empirical Perspectives in 2000 published by Academic Press, and Deepening Psychotherapy With Men to be published in 2001 by the American Psychological Association.

I have been actively involved in SPSMM since it became a division and have served as Membership Chair, Co-Chair of the Task Force on Men and Depression, Convention program reviewer, Editorial Board member for The Psychology of Men and Masculinity, and contributor to the SPSMM Bulletin. I will also be the next Division 51 Program Chair for the APA Convention in Chicago. I appreciate your support for my candidacy as Treasurer and feel honored to be able to serve in this position if elected.


Member-at-large Candidates: Slate 2

Kurt A. DeBord . Member-at-large: Slate 2

It is nice to be able to say that I have been with Division 51 for a few years. Saying that before this point would have been premature, since the division is still so new. However, even in the short time that we have existed as a division of APA, we have broken new ground (e.g., publishing Psychology of Men and Masculinity) and established new traditions (e.g., our cookbook was recently featured in the APA Monitor). I would like to extend one of those traditions by again accepting nomination for a position on the executive board as a member-at-large.

Briefly, I have been professionally active as an assistant and associate professor of psychology at Lincoln University in Jefferson City, Missouri for the past six years. Professionally, teaching is nearest to my heart, but my research also stimulates and satisfies my curiosities. I recently co-edited the APA published Handbook of Counseling and Psychotherapy With Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients with my colleagues Ruperto Perez and Kathleen Bieschke. I am an active member of Division 44 and have been active with Division 51 by serving on the editorial board of Psychology of Men and Masculinity, presenting my research with the division at APA, serving as a discussant, coordinating a special focus section on AIDS for the newsletter, and serving briefly as a member-at-large. These experiences have not only proven to be challenging, but rewarding as well. Generally, contributing to Division 51 is a service that seems easy to provide. If elected to serve as a member-at-large, I will gladly accept the challenge to live up to the responsibilities inherent in the position.

Douglas C. Haldeman . Member-at-large: Slate 2

These are exciting times in Division 51. There is openness to new ideas, and a spirit of inclusivity, that has made the Division a place where a wealth of diverse ideas can be discussed. Increasingly, it is a place where all are welcome-especially those of us who do not identify as heterosexual. For the past year, it has been my privilege to be part of this Division's Board. At every step of the way, I have found the Division leadership to be completely receptive to ideas that will bring issues faced by gay/bisexual men into the Division's agenda, and that gay and bisexual men are warmly welcomed as members of the Division 51 family. Much work remains to be done, however, and I would ask the Division for another term on the Board to complete the projects I have started relative to the active inclusion of gay/bisexual men into the life of the Division.

This year at Convention, Division 51 will have its first co-sponsored program with Division 44 (Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Issues) on Homophobia and Heterophobia, under the leadership of myself and Dr. Gary Brooks. The program will examine the harmful effects of both homophobia and heterophobia on heterosexual and gay/bisexual men, and marks the beginning of an important dialogue toward mutual understanding. It is a first step in the process, however, and needs to be followed with more programming and newsletter articles. I ask your support to continue these projects.

My background in gay/bisexual issues includes a long history of advocacy, scholarship, and clinical practice. I am the author of a wide range of articles and chapters on the treatment of gay/lesbian/bisexual psychotherapy clients, ranging from the development of gender identity to the harmful effects of sexual orientation conversion therapy. I am co-author of APA's recently adopted Guidelines for Psychotherapy With Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Clients and serve on the Task Force charged with their implementation. It has been my honor to lecture internationally on the psychological science relative to sexual orientation, including the ethical and practical implications of therapies intended to change (homosexual) orientation.

I have held a variety of positions in APA governance, including serving as Chair of the Committee on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Concerns, leading Division 44 as President, and serving on BAPPI's Task Force on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation, an APA policy which I co-authored. At present, in addition to my service on the Division 51 Board, I serve on the Ethics Committee and represent Division 44 on APA Council. It would be my great pleasure and honor to continue serving on Division 51's Board, and I ask you for your support.

Member-at-large Candidates: Slate 3

Jay Wade . Member-at-large: Slate 3

I am honored to be nominated for the Member-At-Large position for Division 51. I became involved with SPSMM in 1992 when I returned to graduate school to pursue a doctorate in counseling psychology at the University of Maryland. I received my PhD in 1996, and have since been an assistant professor in the doctoral program in clinical psychology at Fordham University.

Initially, I became involved with SPSMM because of my desire to associate with colleagues whose professional interests, in line with mine own, concerned the psychology of men. After having worked as a mental health practitioner for 13 years, I returned to graduate school to work on developing a model of counseling for men. I began with research on institutional racism and the mental health system, counseling African American male substance abusers, the father-son relationship in African American males, and gender role conflict in middle-class African American men. My current research concerns the validation of a theory I developed on male identity, male reference group identity dependence theory, and the instrument I developed based on the theory, the Reference Group Identity Dependence Scale. I am most interested in examining how the male identity statuses I proposed relate to men's social attitudes: masculinity ideology, discriminatory attitudes, race and gender equity, sexual harassment proclivities, and issues of diversity.

My continued interest and involvement with SPSMM primarily can be attributed to the members with whom I have come into contact. I have always felt welcomed, included, and encouraged to participate in the Division's activities. Additionally, I fully support and respect the mission of Division 51 and am motivated towards working with the Division to reach its goals and objectives. As with my academic and scholarly activities, Division 51 provides another means by which I can contribute to the development of race and gender equity in society and more healthy positive masculinities in men. If elected as a Member-At-Large on the Division 51 board, I would work wholeheartedly towards furthering the Division's visibility and implementing the Division's goals and objectives.

Marty Wong . Member-at-large: Slate 3

It has been gratifying to me to be able to take part in the creation of, and the sustaining of, something of value: Division 51, The SPSMM. In its short history it has been helpful in defining how we feel, what we wish to work for, and in actually organizing efforts in those directions. It is my ideal to help SPSMM to continue to be a valued authority and force in promoting gender equity and also in promoting the more positive raising of our sons. I hope that in some small way, being a representative on the board of SPSSM can help further that aim. More specifically, I hope to continue my work toward these goals as well as to continue to work as Fellows Chair and in recognizing our members through the awards committee.

Council Representative Candidates

Glenn E. Good . Council Representative

In the past decade, SPSMM has evolved from a mere idea into the 51st APA Division. SPSMM is now an organization actively promoting advances in both scientific and applied psychology associated with men and masculinity. As we look ahead, there are many human needs and professional issues that require our attention. Indeed, we have just begun to scratch the surface of important scientific and applied issues associated with men and masculinity.

Some of the issues that stand out for me include further delineating and promoting healthy conceptions of masculinity and developing effective interventions for high frequency men/masculinity-related concerns (e.g., promoting emotional competence, men's health). The public is also eager for guidance on important societal issues such as the development of healthy boys, relations between the sexes, perpetration of violence, and encouraging parental involvement.

While I am highly optimistic about SPSMM's future, important organizational issues remain to address. We have launched our outstanding Psychology of Men and Masculinity journal, yet we still need to increase our membership, improve our space at the APA convention, maintain the SPSMM Bulletin, and offer improved services to members. We also need to try and do all these things in the most cost-effective way possible (lowest possible dues for members).

For the past two years, SPSMM has enjoyed direct representation on the APA Council of Representative. This has resulted in SPSMM having greater visibility and influence on APA endeavors. It has been my privilege and honor to serve SPSMM as our Council Representative.

During my time on APA Council, I accomplished many things. For example, I ensured that the psychology of boys and men was incorporated into the model High School Psychology curriculum. I helped ensure that the psychology of boys and men will be included in the upcoming recommendations for publishers of introductory psychology texts. I also consulted with APA President Norine Johnson regarding planning for an exciting, inclusive opening celebration planned for the upcoming APA convention in San Francisco.

My professional qualifications? I received my PhD from the Ohio State University. I am currently an Associate Professor and the Director of Training for the APA-accredited Counseling Psychology program at the University of Missouri-Columbia. I also maintain a private practice. I am a Fellow of SPSMM and Counseling Psychology, I served as SPSMM President, am the recipient of the SPSMM Researcher of the Year Award, and have been involved with men's issues since 1972. I have held men/masculinity-associated leadership positions in APA Divisions 17 and 51, ACPA, and NOMAS. I have authored more than 50 articles, chapters, and books, and have made more than 100 presentations at national and international conferences. If reelected, I commit to do the very best I can to serve you and SPSMM.

While I would be honored to serve SPSMM again via reelection to this position, I would also like to recommend that you give serious consideration to Dr. Neil Massoth. In addition to being a very fine person, Neil is an energetic and very enthusiastic advocate for men's issues. Neil is also a master at negotiating APA politics and would get a great deal accomplished.

Neil A. Massoth . Council Representative

I served on the Council of Representatives for two terms (six years) representing New Jersey. I enjoyed Council work and would like to serve on Council again representing Division 51. Council is complex. It takes one three-year term to fully understand the perplexities of Council, and a second term to make a full contribution. Glenn Good is doing a wonderful job representing our Division on Council; he deserves a second term. I am running simply to let you know that I am interested in serving Division 51 as Council representative AFTER Glenn's SECOND term. Glenn deserves your support; he deserves a second term. Please vote for me three years from now (assuming that I will be nominated), but join me now as I VOTE FOR GLENN GOOD FOR COUNCIL REPRESENTATIVE.

Division 51 Candidates


Corey J. Habben

Roderick D. Hetzel


Michele Harway

Fred Rabinowitz

Member-at-large: Slate 2

Kurt A. DeBord

Douglas C. Haldeman

Member-at-large: Slate 3

Jay Wade

Marty Wong

Council Representative

Glenn E. Good

Neil A. Massoth

Working to Create a Violence-Free Future for Childrengo to top of page

Julia Silva and Jacquelyn Gentry

Using information from decades of research on child development, aggression, violence, and prevention, the American Psychological Association (APA) and the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) have launched the ACT-Adults and Children Together-Against Violence project. This exciting new initiative addresses violence prevention in the critical years of early childhood, ages 0 to 8, by focusing on the adults who are most influential in the children's lives-parents, teachers, and other caregivers.

"Kids learn more from what they see people doing than from what people say," says Jacquelyn Gentry, PhD, director of Public Interest Initiatives at APA. "Violence is primarily a learned behavior, often learned early in life, and children who learn constructive ways to resolve conflicts are learning violence prevention."

Few violence prevention programs focus on early childhood, a critical period when children learn basic skills for getting along with others. But ACT Against Violence is designed to fill this gap by translating research findings on early child development, aggression and violence, and evidence-based interventions into an early violence prevention initiative focusing on the adults. ACT emphasizes that the adults who spend the most time with young children-parents, teachers, caregivers-are the ones who establish the children's learning environment and consequently can help them to develop positive ways to resolve conflicts and deal with anger and frustration.

ACT Against Violence brings together two organizations with longstanding interest in violence prevention and children's well-being. The APA, with nearly 160,000 members, has synthesized behavioral and social science research on many aspects of aggression and violence, and its members have been on the forefront of research on violence for nearly a half century. Through its policies and programs, the NAEYC promotes peaceful environments for early learning experiences, and its membership of 105,000 early childhood educators work with hundreds of thousands of young children, mothers, dads, and other family members every day.

ACT Against Violence is a two-pronged initiative-it highlights early violence prevention by combining a national multimedia public service advertising campaign with community training programs.

National Media Campaign

Sponsored by the Advertising Council, Inc., the APA/NAEYC public service advertising campaign is designed to raise awareness about the important role of the adults in protecting children from involvement in violence. Ads have been developed by Flashpoint, a New York City advertising agency that has donated its creative services to design campaign materials and public service announcements (PSAs) for TV and radio. The television and radio advertisements will be distributed through the Advertising Council to TV networks and 50 major U.S. media markets around the first of March.

The ACT Against Violence media campaign includes a toll-free telephone number-1-877-ACT-WISE-that viewers and listeners can call to request a brochure on violence prevention in early childhood. The Web site http://actagainstviolence.org will offer further information about the campaign, child development, and violence prevention for parents and teachers of young children.

Campaign kits including fact sheets, brochures, press releases, and draft of a contact letter to local station public service directors are being prepared for distribution through the state psychological associations.

Community Training Program

The goal of the ACT Against Violence Community Training Program is to make early violence prevention a central part of a community's efforts to prevent violence. Designed as a three-day train-the-trainers workshop for groups of 30-40 professionals, the ACT training program is for individuals who work with families and/or young children. The workshop program provides instruction on how to work with diverse groups of adults, how to disseminate child development information, how to select intervention programs, and how to design an action plan. It also offers model workshops and educational materials to be shared with others addressing core violence prevention skills-problem solving, anger management, discipline, and media literacy. Participants in the ACT Against Violence trainings are expected to use what they learn in the workshop to enhance programming in their organizations and communities.

To develop ACT training in a specific community, a Local Coordinator, typically in an organization that can provide an administrative base for the project, directs the program and maintains liaison with national staff at the APA and NAEYC. Experienced trainers in the community are recruited as instructors and trained by APA/NAEYC to conduct the workshops.

With a grant from the Packard Foundation, the APA and NAEYC developed the community-training program with assistance from experts in child development and violence prevention. In the summer of 2000, it was pilot tested in Washington, DC; the first workshop was conducted in partnership with the Monterey Peninsula College in Monterey, California last fall for 31 participants representing three counties in that area. An evaluative study assessed the short-term effect of the workshop and continues to monitor its impact in the community.

Currently, APA and NAEYC are working with Child & Family Resources, a community-based organization led by an APA member in Randolph, New Jersey, to implement the ACT training program in Morris County, NJ. This program is being funded by the AT&T Foundation. A program in Kansas City, to be supported by the Kaufmann Foundation, also is under development through Homefront, a community-based organization.

Looking Into the Future

APA and NAEYC encourage their members to participate in the ACT Against Violence project by promoting the media campaign and educational materials in their communities and by participating in local ACT training programs.

ACT Against Violence has received financial support from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, Kellogg Foundation, Los Angeles County Psychological Foundation, Foundation for Child Development, CDC Foundation, Metropolitan Life Foundation, American Psychological Foundation, American Psychological Association, and Beth and Russell Siegelman. Additionally, the project is a partner SafeUSA, a CDC-sponsored initiative promoting injury and violence prevention.

Making a difference in such a complex problem as violence prevention requires a sustained effort, and the APA and NAEYC continue to pursue support for expansion and refinement of this combination of a nationwide mass media campaign and local training efforts.

Awards of the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinitygo to top of the page

Potential Award Categories and Corresponding Award Criteria

Practitioner of the Year

Purpose of the Award: The Practitioner of the Year Award is intended to honor a psychologist who has provided outstanding clinical service to boys, adolescent males, or men.


1. The nominee must be a member of the SPSMM.

2. The nominee must be a psychologist who spends at least 51% of his or her time in providing clinical services to boys, adolescent males, or men.

3. The clinical activities of the nominee must clearly foster the positive psychological adjustment of boys, adolescent males, or men.

Distinguished Professional Service Award

Purpose of the Award: The Distinguished Professional Service Award is intended to honor outstanding service at the local, state, or national level that reflects a significant contribution to the SPSMM or promotes positive policy changes that enhance the well-being of boys, adolescent males, or men.


1. Nominees may include those whose long-term service contributions have significantly and positively impacted the SPSMM (e.g., a SPSMM member who has fulfilled numerous service positions for Division 51) or public policy as it relates to the well-being of boys, adolescent males, or men (e.g., any individual who has devoted significant time and energy to changing public policy in order to enhance the development of males).

2. The nominee does not have to be a member of SPSMM (e.g., he or she could be a government official who has drafted or sponsored legislation to support the adjustment of males.)

Researcher of the Year

Purpose: The Researcher of the Year Award is intended to honor outstanding published research concerning males and masculinity.


1. The nominee must be a member of SPSMM.

2. The work for which the member is being nominated must be clearly related to the psychological study and understanding of boys, adolescent males, men, or masculinity.

3. The work for which the member is being nominated can include empirical research, qualitative research, scholarly reviews of the literature, or theoretical models and approaches to treatment.

4. Nominees can be nominated for a single work published after January 1 or the year prior to the award presentation or for thematic scholarship consisting of several works published over the course of many years.

Student of the Year

Purpose: The Student of the Year Award is intended to honor an undergraduate or graduate student who has demonstrated outstanding academic performance, counseling practice, or research pertaining to boys, adolescent males, men, or masculinity.


1. The nominee should be a student member of the SPSMM.

2. The nomination should be accompanied by two letters of recommendation from two professors within the nominee's academic department.

3. The nominee should maintain at least a 3.0 GPA and be involved in counseling practice or research pertaining to boys, adolescent males, men or masculinity.

Potential Nomination Process:

1. Call for nominations, the purpose and criteria of awards, and the nomination process will be placed annually in the spring edition of the SPSMM newsletter.

2. Any person who is an SPSMM member may make a nomination.

3. No current member of the Division 51 Awards Committee may make a nomination or write letters to support a nominee.

4. No current member of the Division 51 Awards Committee may be nominated for an award.

5. All completed nomination materials must be submitted in one, complete packet by the nominator to the Awards Committee Chair. The nomination packet should include four copies each of the following:

a. A completed nomination form.

b. A nomination letter (no longer than two pages) from the nominator that speaks directly to the nominee's qualifications for the award.

c. Two letters of support from individuals other than the nominator.  (For the Student of the Year Award, these letters should be written by two professors from the student's academic department.)

d. The nominee's vitae.

e. A phone number where the nominator can be reached.

f. Researcher of the Year Award nominations should include copies of the nominee's publications for which the member is being honored.

6. All nomination packets must by received by May 15 of each year and should be sent to the Division 51 Awards Committee Chair.

Please send nomination materials by May 25 to Larry Beer, EdD, Director, Child and Family Psychological Services, P.C., 5380 Holiday Terrace, Kalamazoo, MI 49009.

New Joint Task Force to Help Studentsgo to the top of the page

A new joint task force has been created by Presidents Janice Yoder (Division 35, Society for the Psychology of Women) and David Johnson (Division 2, Society for the Teaching of Psychology). The Task Force on Enhancing the College Experience: Helping Students Thrive will assemble a variety of resources, designed to be used by those who teach Introductory Psychology.

Teaching faculty and university support staff have frequently observed that students arrive at college and find that they must make choices they never faced during high school. At many colleges, the orientation for first-year students consists of little more than a guided tour and a brief overview of college policies.

The goal of the task force is to gather information that Introductory Psychology professors can use as relevant supplements to their courses. At present, the task force is focusing on social issues faced by students, rather than academic/cognitive problems. The topics currently include the following: (1) alcohol use and binge-drinking, (2) drug and tobacco use, (3) eating disorders, (4) sexual behavior and sexual orientation, (5) depression and suicide, (6) social pressure and social support, (7) interpersonal violence and aggression, and (8) exercise and other health-related behavior. Other topics may be added at a later time.

The task force will examine relevant material and submit it to Division 2's Office of Teaching Resources in Psychology (OTRP), a service that develops and distributes teaching and advising material. The material will include discussions of key topics, reviews of the literature, case studies, critical-thinking exercises, demonstrations, reviews of videos and other media resources, and questionnaires.

If you have information or resources related to the key topics, please send them to one of the following task force members: Dr. Barbara Sommer, Teaching Resources Center, University of California, One Shields Avenue, Davis, CA 95616-8717, basommer@ucdavis.edu; Dr. Margaret Matlin, Department of Psychology, SUNY Geneseo, Geneseo, NY 14454, matlin@geneseo.edu; or Dr. Regan Gurung, Department of Psychology, University of Wisconsin, Green Bay, 2420 Nicolet Drive, Green Bay, WI 54311-7001, gurungr@uwgb.edu

BOOK REVIEWgo to the top of the page

A Review of Edward J. Tejirian's Male to Male: Sexual Feelings Across the Boundaries of Identity

Review by Dr. James Harrison

This is an interesting book, if hard to categorize or describe. Tejirian is a clinical psychologist with 25 years of experience as a therapist and college teacher of basic and applied psychology. His research is not clearly distinguished from his psychotherapeutic work. It is phenomenological, N = 1 exploration of individual experiences not only of patients and students but also several volunteers whose sexual lives he explores with the depth of long term analytic therapy. This reader soon was convinced that his respondents were fortunate to have the ear of an interested and caring, broadly educated and open-minded person.

Tejirian does not offer a hypothesis but grounds himself in a social constructionist perspective not only describing ways individual persons are shaped by their culture but also emphasizing ways in which they are in a confrontational relationship with their culture. He touches on same-sex attractions between women, particularly as he describes the attitudes of his college students. His emphasis, however, is on relationships between men.

In short vignettes he describes a full array of possible attitudes men have toward same sex intimacy. These range from anxiety about and denial of any emotional or affectional relationship toward another man to the struggles of men with explicit sexual attraction toward and activity with another man in the context of a culture which assumes that homosexuality is deviant if not pathological.

The major portions of the book are in-depth studies of the evolving experience of two persons. The first describes a 32-year-old divorced high school graduate who had been incarcerated for aggravated rape six years at the time he initially met Dr. Tejirian, who was his therapist at the prison. After being confined for nearly a year he began to consider the possibility of seeking sexual gratification with other prisoners. In this facility, consensual homosexuality was considered unproblematic. Tejirian describes the gradual evolution of this man's self understanding and attitude toward his partners from using and dominating them to mutual respect and affection, as well as from an attitude of being serviced to being concerned about his partner's pleasure and well-being, resulting in increasing flexibility about mode of sexual involvement.

The second in-depth study describes the personal development of a gay police officer in a small police force in a suburban town close to New York. This young man in his 20s did not have the option of remaining closeted in a community of this size because the patterns of his personal life were too visible to fellow officers. He laments, People make me gay. Otherwise I would think I was normal, just liking men . . . society has made me gay. . . . If way back someone had said it's no problem with men liking men, I'd just exist as I am. History has made it a problem. And indeed it was a problem for him, including severe depression, until he found the inner strength to relate to his peers in a way that elicited their respect. Surely Tejirian deserves much credit for this man's growing self awareness and self confidence.

The book could have been strengthened if Tejirian had been less oblique about his own views. It would appear that he would share mine that our culture's expressed ideal of limiting sexuality between married heterosexual partners is so grossly unrealistic that we fail to prepare young people to find consensual intimacy. In doing so, we raise both boys and girls, men and women who blunder along with immense self doubt, insensitivity, shame, and guilt at best; and at worst sexual expression that violates the integrity of the other person. He does effectively illustrate that sexual orientations can have flexible boundaries when cultural prohibitions are lifted, and implicitly that healthier sexuality of mutuality also emerges.

This book can be useful for the clinician who has little knowledge of experience of same-sex relationships. It also would be particularly helpful for clients who struggle with internalized homophobia.

Update on Task Force on Men and Depressiongo to top of the page

Sam V. Cochran

The SPSMM task force on men and depression promotes understanding of depression in men. We do this by supporting SPSMM members in any work they might be doing related to theory, research, and practice related to depression in men. Our primary vehicle for accomplishing this is a men and depression e-mail list serve that is open to any SPSMM member. In addition, task force members have been instrumental in presenting symposia at the annual APA convention and the task force has assembled a bibliography of articles, books, and other references related to men and depression. For more information or to become a member of the task force, contact Sam V. Cochran, PhD, at the University of Iowa (sam-cochran@uiowa.edu).

Update on Cookbook Committee

Larry Beer

The SPSMM cookbook that is the result of contributions by SPSMM members and recently portrayed in the APA Monitor has now been available for purchase for a year and a half. As most of you know, $15 from every book sold goes to the treasury of Division 51 and over $600 has been raised to date. My long-term vision for the longstanding project is to expand the book and contract with a national publisher so that the book can bring more attention to the merits of our division and bring more funds into our treasury.

SPECIAL FOCUS SECTIONgo to the top of the page

New Directions for the Study of Men's Ways of Relating

Vicki Putz, PsyD
Special Focus Section Editor

In This Special Focus Section:

Same-Sex Feeling, Masculinity, and Pseudo-Masculinity - Edward J. Tejirian, PhD

Fraternity Men and Same Gender Intimacy - Gregory J. Van Hyfte, BA and Fredric E. Rabinowitz, PhD

Across the Bench: What We Can Learn From Men's Relationships With Each Other at Work - Vicki Putz, PsyD

Stranger in a Strange Land: A Male Among Feminists - Rory Remer, PhD

To Know and Be Known: Honoring and Valuing the Men in Our Midst - Bret G. Burkholder, MA

Perhaps the most useful purpose of any dialogue is to compel further exploration by pointing out more questions than answers. The essays in this section suggest that we have yet to ask the right questions about men's ways of relating. Edward Tejirian's essay beautifully demonstrates the existence of sexual feelings between men in friendship relationships that have been silenced by the search for categorical knowledge about sexuality. Gregory Van Hyfte and Fredric Rabinowitz further explore the degree to which conflicts about physical feelings affect whether men feel free to express feelings of closeness, and argue the need to help men find their own language for communicating closeness. In my essay, Across the Bench, I discuss the importance of expanding definitions of connection to accommodate nonverbal interactions, as well as the complex rhythms of relating within groups of individuals over time. Writing about his personal experience, Rory Remer exquisitely draws our attention to the importance of our own self-reflection as we attempt to navigate this terrain. Finally, Bret Burkholder discusses how one institution came to better recognize the experience of the men they served, and to utilize this understanding to move closer to these men, rather than demand transformative change before offering acceptance. Other important themes emerge as well, particularly differences arising out of diverse experiences, such as sexual orientation and class, the role of language in relationships and their study, and the complexity of our strivings to be open to different ways of relating.

It was a privilege to work with the contributors to this section; each gave generously of their time, expertise, and forethought. The section was fueled by the support and enthusiasm of Jim Mahalik, who suggested there might be something to learn.

Same-Sex Feeling, Masculinity, and Pseudo-Masculinity

Edward J. Tejirian, PhD

Private Practice, New York City

This contribution aims to expand the dialogue about men and their relationships by focusing on a widespread but rarely discussed aspect of male sexuality-the prevalence of male-to-male sexual feeling among men who do not identify themselves as gay, and whose primary erotic relationships are with women. Fifty years ago, Alfred Kinsey and his associates shocked America by revealing that 50% of the men in their national sample acknowledged some degree of attraction to their own sex, while something over a third had actual sexual experience with another male from adolescence onward. The initial response to Kinsey's results was to deny that they could represent the truth of male sexuality. Subsequently, psychological research studies continued to classify men into separate categories of homosexual or heterosexual, while searching for statistically significant differences to justify the categories. In contrast, the data showing extensive overlapping between the individuals in both groups was left unanalyzed. This gap in the analysis amounted to another kind of denial-silence.  

However, when men's voices are allowed to fill that silence they provide further confirmation-50 years later and in an entirely different context from the Kinsey study-that male same-sex feelings bridge the categories of sexual identity constructed by this culture. In the research (Tejirian, 2000)  whose results I will touch on here, I was able to listen to those voices. The circumstances that provided that opportunity are important to discuss.  

In the mid-1990s, I was teaching the graduate course in adolescent psychology at Queens College. By then the gay movement was well established and, in defiance of the political and religious right, demanded recognition and equal rights. However, the boundary between the two categories-recast now as an affirmative gay versus heterosexuality identity-remained at least as firm as before. My students ranged in age from their early 20s up to their 50s, with the average being late 20-something. Most were already actually teaching, the rest planning to, at the secondary level in a variety of areas. Although obviously college educated, many came from blue-collar backgrounds.  

A few years after the publication of my first book (Tejirian, 1990), I decided to have my students read it for this course. It told the story of the analysis of a young man who came to me for help with a frightening symptom-the obsessive thought that he might become possessed by the Devil. My patient, Frank, was married and had always been sexually drawn to women, but the Devil symbolized the man that, unconsciously, he both desired and feared. Here then, in a single individual, were brought together the two strands in human feeling-for men and for women-that our culture's institutions, as well as psychological research, had put asunder. Although his sexual feelings for men finally emerged into Frank's consciousness, he had no need to relinquish his feelings for women. He married for a second time and became a successful professional and the father of two sons.  

When I asked students to write reaction papers-not to be graded-on the chapters that I assigned in this book, a number of them-both women and men-surprised me by either hinting at or telling of some degree of same-sex feeling themselves. As a result, in subsequent classes I began to inquire to what extent people were aware of such feelings, assuring them that they were free to say as much or as little as they wished to on the subject. A systematic survey of responses from four separate classes over four consecutive semesters yielded the following results.  

Across four different groups from 1995 to 1997, 24 of 73 women (33%) acknowledged some degree of same-sex feeling. Apart from one lesbian woman, two had some post-adolescent sexual experience with another woman. Twenty-four of 53 men (45%) acknowledged some degree of same-sex feeling as well, with four having some post-adolescent sexual experience with another male. None of these identified themselves as gay, either in their reaction papers or in the follow-up dialogues that we had together.  

But beyond percentages, it seemed important to know what these feelings meant to the people who revealed them. Their same-sex feelings emerged from a deeply emotional part of the self that they knew to be at odds with their culture. However, these emotions were not about being different from others of their own sex. On the contrary, women felt a closeness to each other as women. And men's sexual feelings toward each other could best be understood as an expression of male bonding-the deep sense of closeness and identification that men-as men-feel toward each other. The words they used to describe the emotions embedded in their sexual thoughts about each other included friendship, brotherhood, intimacy, love, and a sense of the sacred. And significantly, when a particular person was the object of these emotions, he was virtually always a good or best friend.  

The fact that Frank's same-sex feelings were initially cordoned off from his consciousness-the "I" part of himself that lived in culture and had a heterosexual identity-indicated that he had internalized in his mind a replica of the external, culturally drawn boundary segregating gay from heterosexual men. This boundary was present in the minds of the men in my classes as well, but permeable enough so that their feelings could enter awareness, with varying degrees of intensity-and anxiety. One could see signs of a dynamic approach-avoidance conflict around this boundary as the emotional part of the self-the "emotional I"-moved to close the gap between a man's own body and that of another while the "cultural I" resisted this movement, even in imagination. As one man put it, "You're afraid to let your mind explore further." At the same time, it was possible to see movement in both men and women, even in the course of a 14-week semester, toward an integration of their same-sex feelings as a worthwhile part of the self. Thus, as the semester neared its end, one young man announced with an air of discovery, "I consider myself to be bisexual because I love both males and females, and if I ever feel like being physically close to a male and he's open to it, I will do it." Although he framed it in terms of one of this culture's categories of sexual identity, he was asserting a newly found inner freedom to move across category boundaries-a movement whose possibility the assumptions underlying those categories would deny, and their boundaries prevent.  

I think this kind of movement was possible because the attitudes I conveyed, the book they read, and the historical and cross-cultural material introduced in the course added up to a definition of masculinity not requiring one half the human race be ruled out for the fulfillment of emotional and physical closeness. The social cost of that requirement is high. Setting up an ideal of masculinity that denies that men can and do relate sexually to men, as well as to women, substitutes a truncated pseudo-masculine ideal for the real thing. The fact that I was virtually the only person to whom the men revealed these feelings makes it clear that widespread concealment is required to sustain this pseudo-masculine ideal. "Don't ask, don't tell"-while our military leadership sacrifices capable soldiers and talented officers to maintain the pseudo-masculine ideal and the myth of heterosexual purity that is its corollary.  

At the level of the individual, there is a price to be paid as well. A self that is organized around a pseudo-masculine ideal denying any possibility of same-sex feeling in the masculine self is vulnerable at best and false at worst. Sex, as performance aimed at shoring up the fragile pseudo-masculine self, can undermine both erotic pleasure and tenderness in relationships with women. For those men who have some awareness of their same-sex feelings-and there appear to be significant numbers who do (see also Sell et al., 1995; Weinberg et al., 1994)-portions of the emotional self can be experienced as alien. Where the "cultural I" stops the emotional movement toward another male before it reaches the threshold of awareness, the suppressed emotions can be projected-not usually on the Devil-but on men who are demonized because they acknowledge such feelings. But these emotions are part of what it means to be a man. For a man to fear or hate them is to fear or hate something-potential or actual-in himself as well as in the selves of other men.  

SPSMM has criticized traditional ideals of masculinity as constricting and damaging. But I think this is only part of what needs to be done. The other part is to work-together as men and in partnership with women-toward constructing a picture of masculinity that corresponds-not to the ideals of any group or culture-but to what men are really like, in all their emotional and sexual complexity. A step in that direction is recognizing that the movement toward emotional and physical bonding with another man, whether it represents the primary direction of a man's erotic life or not, is as much a part of male psychology-of masculinity-as is that toward women.


Sell, R. L, Wells, J. A., & Wypij, D. (1995). The prevalence of homosexual behavior and attraction in the United States, the United Kingdom, and France: Results of national population-based samples. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 24(3), 235-248.

Tejirian, E. J. (1990). Sexuality and the devil: Symbols of love, power, and fear in male psychology. New York: Routledge.

Tejirian, E. J. (2000). Male to male: Sexual feeling across the boundaries of identity. Binghamton, NY: Harrington Park Press.

Weinberg, M. S., Williams, C. J, & Pryor, D. W. (1994). Understanding bisexuality. New York: Oxford University Press.

Fraternity Men and Same Gender Intimacy

Gregory J. Van Hyfte, BA

University of Chicago

Fredric E. Rabinowitz, PhD

University of Redlands

Across the life span many men participate in all male groups. During young adulthood in the college environment, some men seek the companionship of other men to share common interests, to meet needs for security and belonging, and to help them define and reinforce their cultural masculinity. An important part of a man's development seems to involve searching for friendships of the same gender that allow for a special "masculine" connection, that is qualitatively different than a female relationship. While a man may crave a close male friendship, he may also fear this type of closeness because it threatens his internalized definition of manhood. He might believe that he will be perceived as feminine or gay and therefore unmanly in the eyes of his peers and society. This conflict creates ambivalence about male friendship and how close it should be.

Our research of college fraternity men at a liberal arts university campus in Southern California seemed to highlight this emotional ambivalence about same gender intimacy. Questionnaire data showed that men who participated in all-male fraternity groups reported more intimate same-sex friendships than a control group of men not affiliated with fraternities. In our focus group discussions with the fraternity men we were particularly interested in how they defined intimacy, what meanings they ascribed to their friendships, and what influences affected the presentation of these friendships outside of the group's close-knit circle.

While many of the men in the fraternity groups defined intimacy in self-disclosure terms, as much of the friendship literature defines it, they rated emotional closeness as a more salient feature of their same-sex best friendship. They spoke of this closeness in detail and also demonstrated subsequent intimate behaviors. For example, men in the fraternities referred to intimacy within the group as "a close emotional friendship," "closeness," and "sharing of emotion or affection." Regardless of how these men defined "intimacy," the above mentioned feelings describe sincerely close friendships with each other.

Forcing the label "intimate" on the fraternity men's experience of same-gender friendship revealed certain negative connotations of this label, as the following dialogue from a focus group suggests. (Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.)

Researcher: According to how you just described it, would you say your friendships are intimate with any of the guys in here?

Frank: Yeah . . . but maybe not. I don't know. When you say "intimate," I think of sex. I'd use "close" instead.

Men in another fraternity seemed to share a similar association between "intimacy" and sex:

Eduardo: I'm not intimate in the way of touching.

Victor: [Angered] No! He's intimate but he doesn't like to admit it because of this machista thing [others "yeah" in agreement]. [To Eduardo] How do you define intimacy?

Eduardo: Sharing of emotion, affection, I see it as a physical thing.

Overall, these men did not deny that their friendships were close; they did, however have a more difficult time saying that they were "intimate," because of suggestive physical and/or sexual connotations.

Some men actually recognized the frequency of physical interaction with the other men, and even saw this as integral to their friendship, while others were still uncomfortable. Citing behaviors such as "hugging," "putting our arms around each other," "lying on the couch together to watch the game," "getting together to wrestle like kids," and "playing sports," some fraternity men talked about how these behaviors are expressions of closeness. But others spoke of the connotations that physical affection between men might imply:

Gary: Most of you guys know my bro and I are pretty close, if you see us huggin' in public and stuff. Some of you guys are uncomfortable with it, so I don't hug you.

Victor: [Jokingly] C'mon, there's some buttsmackin' going on there [laughter].

Eduardo: I want it, you know it.

For men like these, who experience close, intense friendships, the laughter and joking that ensued seemed to serve as a buffer against their own insecurities and fears of such closeness, especially on a physical level. Though volatile and difficult to explain, the physical affection between these men seemed important and valuable to their friendships, but it had its limits.

Some men were comfortable hugging inside and outside the group, while others refrained from hugging in public. One fraternity member even said that their public hugs were more "masculine," and that "because we hug in public . . . everybody says we're the gay fraternity." In a sense to protect their "masculine" image and conform to society's gender role norms, the fraternity men cautiously expressed affection with each other in public. However, in the safety of the group context they became more immune to the society's restrictive norms and felt more free to express more affectionate behavior. Thus, participation in these all-male groups allowed the men to have more intimate and satisfying same-gender friendships, largely due to the group's private revamping of society's homophobia taboos.

The influence of homophobia also arose when each of the fraternities discussed the presence of an openly gay member. In one fraternity, when asked about a hypothetical situation in which one of their members disclosed that he was gay, one man replied, "Well, actually that recently happened with us" and said no more. In the other fraternity, the men began talking openly about the experience of having a gay member, even before we asked them:

Tyler: You know, it seems like in the group, most of the guys in here will be more willing to hug Jorge than to hug another guy who's not [known to be] gay. That's very interesting because we all become very touchy, but when it comes to being intimate with guys who are heterosexual, then it doesn't happen.

Researcher: Why do you think that is?

Bill: I think it's the fact that maybe subconsciously you might think, "Well, Jorge might not mind it so much, because maybe he likes guys, or he might like me anyway [laughter]."

The openness expressed about the experience of having a gay "brother" pointed out certain barriers men encounter when fostering close friendship. Bill's assumption that Jorge might not mind receiving a hug from another man just because he's gay seems to imply that it would be wrong for a heterosexual man to enjoy hugging another heterosexual man. Jorge evidenced this barrier, experiencing men blurring the line between sexual and non-sexual affection:

Jorge: It happens every time I introduce myself, and then they find out I'm gay, and then they start backing up-like they think, "He's trying to come on to me." It's something that I deal with every day of my life.

The uncertainty of one's sexual orientation seemed to be a prevalent barrier which impeded close friendship in this group at first, but allowed the heterosexual men to be more physically affectionate with another man, even if they weren't as comfortable hugging other (known) heterosexual men. In this instance, Tyler and Jorge have experienced what more men will encounter-especially in close groups in which intense personal connections are inevitable to form.

Jorge's openness in this fraternity offered these men an opportunity to know on an intimate level a friendship across the lines of sexual orientation. With society's increasing attention to issues of sexual identity and with gay and bisexual people coming out more freely than in past decades, it is important to educate men about each other's experiences of these friendships. Merely one positive connection between two men of different sexual orientations can help several men in such a small group become closer. Breaking the silence of Jorge's sexuality helped the other men understand and accept his being gay, alleviating the barrier of homophobia:

Tyler: I would not-and I don't have nothin' against gay people-but I would not go out and hug another gay guy like I do this guy right here [referring to Jorge]. . . . You have to make this connection with this person in order to become really close to him. It took me years and years to touch someone who wasn't heterosexual.

For these types of interpersonal connections and intimacy to build and grow, it ultimately depends on calming men's fears that their own neediness to connect with each other is somehow wrong.

While we did find that progress was being made in fraternity groups in deepening and expanding their male friendships, it seemed that these men still have more work to do to attain a homophobic-free and diversity-accepting friendship environment. We would urge all men, regardless of sexual identity or age, to use the comfort and security established male groups offer (e.g., work groups, clubs, ethnic/racial groups, informal groups, religious groups, family gatherings, men's therapy groups) to face their fears of intimacy and enjoy the full benefits of open male friendships. We would also recommend that further exploration of these issues take into consideration men's own definitions and understanding of these complex experiences to achieve a more accurate account of men's close same-gender friendships.

Across the Bench: What We Can Learn From Men's Relationships With Each Other at Work

  Vicki Putz, PsyD

Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates, Boston

I grew up female in a traditional working-class family. Though not entirely patriarchal, men were central to the organization of experiences. Equally important were ideologies such as loyalty and self-sufficiency rooted in our working-class situation. Together, this bred a particular kind of relatedness. Talking about private, intrapsychic experiences was not routine, nor necessarily critical to closeness, but the mediation of difficulties and the attainment of common goals were. This took many forms, including the exercise of authority, conformity, and the sharing of resources, but also ample humor and horseplay. Development centered more on activity than affectivity, and on achievement than care giving, but this did not preclude empathy and nurturance.

Given what I understood to be a working-class male model of closeness, as a developing psychologist, I hypothesized men had more to offer in relationships than the literature has identified. Furthermore, I reasoned that exploring men's co-worker relationships was important because it represents a relative outlier in current studies and an important experience for men. To test this, I conducted a qualitative study of one co-worker group of white, working-class men (Putz, 2000).

The participants, technicians and assemblers at a high-technology manufacturing company, had been part of a work group of seven co-workers for two to seven years. Five men participated, ranging in age from 28 to 57. The study consisted of individual interviews, followed by a group interview using the initial findings. This provided for observation in different contexts and collaboration (which is gaining importance in the study of relationships, e.g., Jones, 1997).

Talking about what happens between co-workers, participants cited helping and relying on each other, not interfering with one's ability to do well for oneself, and mediating tension or creating a comfortable atmosphere. But when observed and considered contextually, the value of interactions was found in the activity and sensitivity of the interplay rather than the content of the exchange.

In other words, the activity of play and keeping the ball in motion was what garnered a good feeling and sustained connection. One man described it as "a rally to support and keep things going." Such a rhythm occurred through the orchestration of complex, nuanced interactions on many levels, most notably in moment-to-moment interactions and in shifts in structure (roles, allegiances, power, affectivity, and activity).

The variability in relating was demonstrated in many ways. In a dialogue, participants might interrupt or finish each other's sentences to shape a collaborative idea or develop more clarity, or they might joke to signal understanding, or alternately, listen reflectively. An individual may activate a co-worker friendship in some instances and not others, relying instead on another co-worker or a subset of co-workers, or engaging in collaborative group activities. He may serve as a teacher one day, and depend on someone else's authority another.

Exchanges were not simple accommodating gestures but rather sensitive and responsive acts, evolving as familiarity increases. Fundamentally, relationships were built on the ability to respond flexibly and adaptively to each other's needs. For example, participants asserted they needed to "know when the other guy is having a bad day" or be "receptive" enough to recognize when someone was struggling. Attunement to others was fostered by taking time to know each other more personally, the openness to "go to the next level," as one participant said. Moreover, he said it means becoming familiar with others' "personality and how they're feeling, and [their] body language."

Overall, modulations had to do with managing the intensity of interactions to avoid frustrating the group's activity. There was a tendency "to keep things upbeat," that is, working to soothe or avoid tension. This constant "minding of the perimeter" -as if there were a rubber band stretched between individuals-prevented too much tension (or too little) on the relationship. Thus, participants' demonstrated skillfulness in sustaining connections and holding the relationship.

At the same time, interactions were not always tempered and did not preclude private or affective exchanges as noted previously. One individual said, referring to a conversation about a past romantic relationship, "He asked me what my feelings were for her [and] we reciprocated back and forth . . . he related back to me."

In conclusion, the study demonstrated that white, working-class men have close connections with each other at work. These relationships fulfill a basic human need for pleasurable, mutually supportive, and dynamic connections with others-well beyond what is necessary for success at work. Walker (1995) has demonstrated the unique strengths of working-class relationships, and some scholars have begun to explore why our understanding of men's relationships is skewed (e.g., Benenson, 1996). Yet, such bonds remain relatively unrecognized in the literature. Several possible explanations can be drawn from this study.

Most notably, salutary relationships are defined by the level of variability and responsiveness rather than the degree of psychological or emotional sharing. This is not to say intimacy is not supported; rather, intimacy is not the main dynamic binding men together. Moreover, intimacy is not necessarily characterized by affective content. Laughing together, working side-by-side, and even giving "space" to someone may be signs that there is a private, personal connection based on empathy and caring (as is gaining recognition, e.g., Pollack, 1998).  

Furthermore, the results give considerable weight to the importance of nonverbal activity. Lived closeness is not essentially communicated or measurable by spoken exchanges. The feeling of sharing "parallel lives," or "being on the same plane [and] having the same wave patterns" was noted in some way by most of the participants. My uncle, a machinist, described a felt "sense of unity" as confirming an underlying connection, that is:

the belief that people with whom we associate on a work and social basis share our ideals, goals, dreams and desires in work and life itself. There are differences in individuals, naturally, but our energies often travel along the same path in life . . . if a person truly receives joy from say, walking in the woods and watching nature, he will almost automatically be aware of the joy or lack of it another person has when they are in the woods, experiencing nature together. When we know that another person shares our joy, we can easily say that we are "relating."

There is both an ability to experience nonverbal connectiveness and an implicit understanding that experiences are shared. It is also important to consider that class may have important implications for one's skillfulness or investment in translating experience into words. For individuals who have grown up working hard to make ends meet or to get ahead in life, activity and collaborative projects may have much more salience than processing one's experience.

Finally, because relationships are not limited to the ties between two individuals, all interpersonal dynamics can not be fully understood by theories on dyadic affiliations. Such frameworks remain rooted in notions of a separate, bounded self within an autonomy-affiliation paradigm. These viewpoints are entrenched in class ideologies that associate agency, individualism, and certain intrinsic freedoms with higher class status. Models of collectivism may provide a more accurate basis for understanding. In brief, collectivist cultures are based on communal goals and the integrity of the group is important to goal attainment. Experiences such as doing for oneself and enforced loyalty, otherwise considered non-relational, do support mutual development within relationships that are "intimate, deep, broad, flexible, spontaneous, smooth" and potentially "less difficult than those based in individualistic cultures" (Triandis, 1995, p. 351).

The holding of the relationship boundaries, albeit extremely important, also brought with it significant tensions and limitations. The need to live up to masculine ideologies including class norms, particularly related to hardiness, sexuality, and attitudes toward women, shaped interactions in restraining ways. In addition, participants appeared unaware of distinct disconnection.  

This is a modest beginning. Further research is needed on the role of co-worker relationships in men's lives, organizational factors, and the implications of class and race. More studies of same-sex affiliations across the life-span are warranted. The findings also beg the consideration of broader models of relationship, attending to alternative expressions of emotionality, mechanisms of attunement, patterns of behavior, and the role of language. Moreover, the applicability of models based on notions of a separate self, specifically the autonomy-affiliation construct, need to be examined if we are to understand different men's experiences.

In practice, clinicians would do well to heed this important interpersonal arena and to consider the lessons for relating to men. Implications include addressing the quality of co-worker relationships and helping men utilize existing support systems. Clinicians should explore how open and trusting relationships develop based on a broader concept of intimacy than one emphasizing the verbal sharing of intrapsychic experiences. This may also have particular salience in working with heterosexual couples whereby the woman's abilities are typically valued over the man's, ignoring, for example, the value of a man's ability to hold the relationship or his mastery and control of the external environment. Clinicians should find ways to move toward the client in more inclusive ways, staying alert to biases and the tendency to quickly blame men when attempts to connect fail.


Benenson, J. F. (1996). Gender differences in the development of relationships. In G. G. Noam & K. W. Fischer (Eds.), Development and vulnerability in close relationships (pp. 263-286). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Jones, S. J. (1997). Reflexivity and feminist practice: Ethical dilemmas in negotiating meaning. Feminism & Psychology, 7(3), 348-353.

Pollack, W. S. (1998). Real boys: Rescuing our sons from the myths of boyhood. New York: Random House.

Putz, V. (2000). Expanding theories of men's relationships: A qualitative study of co-worker relationships among white men in skilled occupations. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology, Boston, MA.

Triandis, H. C. (1995). The self and social behavior in differing cultural contexts. In N. R. Goldberger & J. B. Veroff, The culture and psychology reader (pp. 226-266). New York, NY: New York University.

Walker, K. (1995). "Always there for me": Friendship patterns and expectations among middle- and working-class men and women. Sociological Forum, 10(2), 273-296.

Stranger in a Strange Land: A Male Among Feminist

Rory Remer, PhD

Professor of Counseling Psychology

Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology

University of Kentucky

One of the first questions asked when I offered to write this account was how I came to my own values and beliefs about relating/feminism. Honestly I don't know. My background was not exceptional or particularly non-traditional. In fact, I clearly recall my father saying to me, when I was struggling with dating, to remember "women aren't as smart as you think they are." I didn't know what he meant then and I'm still not sure what that means-although I know it was intended to encourage me not to be so afraid of making some kind of mistake in approaching someone I thought I might date. I do know I never felt that way and still don't.

Now, I find myself among many feminists, but two in particular. I married one (my wife Pam) and we raised another (our daughter Randa). Both of them tell me I'm a feminist. I'm not so sure about that statement either. Let me tell you why.

  Yes, I Am  

I'm told I'm a feminist because I believe (a) relationships should be egalitarian and collaborative; (b) social influences-culture, government, environment, family-have as much to do with psychological problems as do inner influences, and must be recognized and changed, if need be; and (c) women's perspectives should be valued (as should everyone's). While I can't recall when and how I came to these ideas, I can remember a few times where they were called into stark relief.  

Shortly after we were married, we went to JC Penney to buy something. We tried to use Pam's charge card because she had worked for a few years and had a "working limit." I had the "student limit." Her limit was higher. When the clerk saw Pam's card, she literally ripped it out of Pam's hand. We were told Pam didn't count because I was the "head of the household."  

We were at a psychodrama training workshop. One woman portrayed her rape.  

Randa played soccer from age 5. She was/is good. One of the little boys wouldn't pass to her because "she was a girl." A father called to his son from the sidelines, "Don't let a girl take the ball away from you."  

No, I'm Not  

I call myself non-sexist. I can appreciate a woman's perspective, but not like a woman does. I'm a man and I will always see the world as a man.  

Ten years after we started teaching at the University of Kentucky, we were both Associate Professors. The university decided to correct the gender inequity in salaries. For two years, until I was promoted, Pam made a bit more than I did. I had three more years at rank and five exceptional achievement awards (with which came merit salary increases). All those factors were discounted.  

All three of us attended a conference on Feminist Perspectives on Violence. Little attention was paid to male-male violence, female-male violence, female violence toward children, female-female violence. Much was made of the fact that more women than men are using assisted suicide, aided by male physicians.  

Life With My Feminists  

Considering all three of us have degrees in counseling psychology, are now adults, work in the helping professions, and spend a fair amount of time together, sorting out the influences of feminism from the rest of the factors (including individual personalities) is virtually impossible. Still, that feminism has been and is a pervasive and continual undercurrent is undeniable. Like all relationships, these too have ups and downs.  

The Downs

When Randa was in high school, she dated a guy she really liked. Then he just stopped coming around. She was hurt. A couple of years later she ran into him. He apologized, saying he made a bad mistake. They went out on another date. He never called again. Shortly after, Pam, Randa, and some of her female friends were in our family room talking about how immature and insensitive teenage guys are-maybe all guys. I came walking through. Bad timing. Walking through was the best I could do.  

Pam worked for the Counseling Center at the University of Wyoming. In a meeting with three male psychiatrists from the Student Health Center, she was told women can't be raped. "No one can stick a pencil in a moving coke bottle." Neither of us acted on our outrage.  

The biggest "down" is having to examine interactions for the sexist undertones-and deciding what to do about them. Sometimes "walking on eggshells" gets a bit tiring.              

A big box must be moved. Time to cook dinner. A three foot deep hole must be dug for a new tree to be planted. "Don't touch the laundry. You don't do it right." "Why don't you dress up more often?" "You need some new clothes." The plumbing is leaking. Who does what? Who should decide? How should these interactions take place? Do we need to expend so much energy asking?  

The Ups

At twelve Randa and I went white water rafting for the first time. Pam was a bit anxious about the trip, but we talked through her concerns about "her baby girl" risking such an adventure. Randa and I had a great time. Pam has now been rafting with us a half dozen times.  

A few years ago a friend of Randa's was raped and murdered just before we were due to go on vacation. All three of us drove all day to comfort the husband and family. Since, we have cried with the family, watched the baby daughter grow up, helped the widower struggle through.  

After the reaction I had to the conference I mentioned previously, I talked with both Pam and Randa about it. They listened to my thoughts and my feelings. They both reacted much as I did. The responses felt very supportive.  

Recently Randa has met someone. The four of us have spent time together, much of which has been focused on direct, honest discussion of the ins and outs, the demands, the complexities of intimate male-female relationships.  

Final Musings              

Living with two feminists isn't easy. Although many times I feel appreciated for being (or at least acting) non-traditional, non-stereotypic, at other times I feel disregarded (and even discarded); at still others, that being a male is a worthless pursuit. The mismatches between expectations and actions or wants seem to generate frictions (but that observation is not peculiar to gender role oriented interactions).  

Certainly on the (fortunately) rare occasions I'm the only male in a hostile female environment-when men in general are being trashed-it's no fun. Whether or not I deserve the animosity (and I have to admit sometimes I do), I'm the target. At those moments, I'm caught in the middle between my desire not to act stereotypically and my feelings about being attacked unfairly. After all, we're all too human-male and female.              

Has living with two feminists turned me into one? I have developed my "feminine" side, even though I don't necessarily exhibit stereotypically, traditional female attitudes and behaviors: I still don't like to shop; I don't yet like anything but old, comfortable, informal clothing. I have been impacted significantly and not always comfortably: I have realized that I don't like sports as much as I used to-too much violence, too much competition. And as ambivalent as I feel about crying, I like being moved by "chick flicks." Mostly I like feeling alive by just feeling (although feeling too can be a mixed blessing, like awareness). And I do so like not having to drive or carry a wallet when we go out for dinner. I owe all that to my feminists.  

My experiences have changed me and my relationships. I believe I'm seen as more open, "softer," more collaborative, and more empathic-and thus more approachable. These differences have generally helped my relationships-with peers, colleagues, clients, family . . . for the most part with women in my life. I've lost some contact with the more traditional men in my life. I just don't relate to the same things or in the same way. I do have better-more meaningful, deeper-interactions with some men in my life.  

I find myself in a strange new land. Sometimes it seems "no man's land."  

To come full circle, I was asked, "What can women (who love/treat men) do better to recognize when they are making it hard for men to move closer?" I noticed in recounting our dynamics that the negatives easily come to mind as distinct incidents-noticeable and, thus, remarkable; the positives are more subtle, pervasive-unremarkable and often incidental. The trap seems to be in not noticing the good and over-emphasizing the bad (again a very human pattern). Real change will most likely be gradual, in small increments. Look for it. Recognize it. Openly and actively appreciate it.

To Know and Be Known: Honoring and Valuing the Men in Our Midst


Bret G. Burkholder, MA

Pierce College, Pullyallup, Washington 

I am the lead counselor and advisor at Pierce College, a public two-year institution with 6,700 students between two major campuses. I also serve as the Coordinator of Men's Programs, and Instructor of various classes including Intro to Men's Issues, College Core, and Career & Life Planning.  

Several years ago, I became concerned with the diminishing enrollments of males at Pierce. Upon investigation, I discovered not only were we failing to attract as many men as women (roughly a 1:2 ratio), but we also had males disappearing at an alarming rate (two males for every one female).  

A colleague and I conducted a study of other two- and four-year institutions. We collected data representing a three-year period from six schools. Regardless of the school, male students were dismissed at a two-to-one ratio. The same rate of two to one enrollment previously discovered at our school (2:1 female to male) was also true at these institutions. Clearly, we were failing our males at alarming rates. The next logical question was "Why?"  

The Men in Our Midst Were Once Boys in Our Care  

The men we see in our offices, classrooms, clinics and groups began as boys full of life and feeling. Their birthright was the same as any girl's: to have a full range of emotions and expression. Yet, by the time they negotiated the crosscurrents to manhood (however it is defined), they have discovered the culture isn't interested in hearing all of their truth. They learn to hide less acceptable feelings and experiences of being scared or sad.  

Indeed, as Pollack (1998) has revealed, boys as young as four and five years old have learned to mask true feelings. The need to shield themselves results in what Pollack calls the "Boy Code" (p. 21).  

In my view, the flat, expressionless face of manhood represents the mastery of three rules of survival in a dysfunctional system:  

1. Don't Talk

2. Don't Feel

3. Don't Trust  

Regardless of how the mask reveals itself, acting to the affirmative is key to assisting our men reclaim their full humanity, their birthright to be. This means getting behind the mask (or baseball cap) and connecting with the male spirit waiting to be affirmed.

Phil's Prophecy: Look Into Me  

Men, in fact, hunger to be seen. They also have an eagerness to be affirmed, as was made clear in our Men's Forums.  

My colleague, Ed Leitner, and I were asked to make a presentation to the counselors of a local school district on the needs of boys. In preparation, we asked the men in our Forum, "If you could tell the counselors anything to help the young men in their care, what would that be?"  

Overwhelmingly, they responded, "tell them to listen and look at the young men in their schools." These men shared stories of having thoughts, feelings, and needs discounted, dismissed, and devalued by high school counselors and faculty, expressing the common theme of not being seen or heard and frustration.  

One of the young men, Phil, said it perfectly, "In high school no one looked into me. You know, they saw a big 'dumb jock.' They knew my name, what my schedule was, where I was supposed to be and all, but nobody looked into me, myself."  

This was a profound moment and a powerful lesson. Phil's words often ring in my ears, "look into me, LOOK INTO ME!"  

The men choosing to participate in our programs do so because they are fed and respected on another level. They are nurtured and supported as a man by other men. They are part of a male community that sees, hears, and honors them as one of the "pack." A man knows he belongs. He knows he is not alone any longer, nor does he need to put up the front of "having it all together." He is part of rather than separate from, in competition with, or worse, to blame, as occurs in many universities, schools, and social service agencies.  

Men's Programs Honoring Men's Needs: The Men's Forum and the Men's Mentorship Program  

Started seven years ago, the Men's Forum is the oldest consecutive running student support group on the Pullyallup Campus. It has few rules, and patterns itself after other, more typical men's groups. Each man is free to speak his mind; what's said in the room stays in the room. There are no leaders, and as such all men's wisdom is honored. Alumni often return to participate.  

The Men's Mentorship Program originated four years ago and is more one-on-one and "formal." Specific contracts are negotiated between "mentee" and his chosen Mentor.  

One of the by-products of the Men's Programs is uncovering certain "truths" with respect to words and approaches, or "conditions" we can use to help ensure our success. Here are some of the lessons learned.  

Words and Conditions That Work With Men  

Early in the establishment of the Men's Mentorship Program, we called men at our campus, offering them a connection with the leadership team. Individuals were reluctant to participate. We became aware that we were seen as the "principles," or some other less-than-welcome authority figure. While the young man's parents (particularly mothers) sometimes welcomed this, it had the reverse impact on the man.  

We altered our approach. We employed a "challenge/support" strategy using words to reflect this paradigm. Many men resonated more with words like: opportunity, desire, drive, accomplish, create, or establish. In part, this is a result of early male socialization (i.e., to produce or accomplish), and such words are familiar and "safe" to men. They offer a concreteness that men trust, that men know and understand. They convey we can "do something." Often after saying these phrases (and meaning them), I see the fellow release energy in the form of a deep sigh, shoulders coming down, or tears welling up. The tone of our conversation takes on the warmth and familiarity that men share with other men when safety is present.  

I believe the language we use, usually learned in counseling-technique classes, creates unnecessary roadblocks to establishing rapport with men. It is laden with highly "feminized" words and energy. Although well intended, it often has an insulting and parental quality to a male. I have experienced this frequently when using language like "I'm really concerned about you" or "Let me share some information with you that I think may help." The man reacts on a gut level to the "mothering" quality of such phrases. This drives him away.  

Those phrases and others hit a male right in the "little boy" department. It is what I have labeled Pink Language. It sounds, and feels charged-overly feminine and "mommy-like." While there are times and places for such expression, when you're trying to build rapport with a man who is inexperienced and initially uninterested in such exchanges, it necessitates language that feels more solid, more familiar, and more "like him." Because he has protected his heart and spirit for so long, he is reluctant to "talk feelings" until credibility is established through a more comfortable, familiar interaction.  

Establishing Credibility and Rapport With Men  

A man will listen to the words and experiences I share if he knows I know and respect the journey men in our culture face. Screening the words to see if I am in touch with my own masculine energy and spirit, he ponders whether I have pride in being a man myself, whether I am glad I am male.  

He wonders if I have important male energy to share with him, or if I am like other men he has met in his journey through schools and social service agencies. Do I project a sense of male shame? Am I "neutered" and ashamed, even fearful of my masculine side? Am I one of the apologetic men who works hard for the approval of females and sells out other men? Am I one of the "soft" males who Robert Bly (1990) spoke of in Iron John? Am I one of those guys who has been successfully "housebroken" and, as such, has no vital male energy to offer him? If I am, I have nothing to teach or offer him on his journey to manhood.  

Yet, the men in our midst show remarkable resilience when given a safe environment and caring, committed support. These are the concepts behind the Men's Programs. Men can and will share their feelings, their dreams, and their pain openly. But this occurs only after credibility, rapport, trust, and mutual respect (for them as men by men) has been established. This is necessary before a man will open his heart and spirit.  

For all of us, male or female, gay or straight, every experience touches our core sense of intimacy. If intimacy is defined as a deep desire to know and be known by others, as demonstrated in our men's programs, to be known is the deepest motivation for human interactions, including male relationships. This means we need to give up many of our preconceived ideas, increase our vision, and in short, expand what we are "okay with." We need to honor, listen, and speak in ways that respect men's ways of establishing relationships.  


Bly, R. (1990). Iron John. New York: Addison-Wesley.

Pollack, W. S. (1998). Real boys: Rescuing our sons from the myths of boyhood. New York: Random House.

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Participate in SPSMM-L, the listserv for SPSMM members. It is a place to share current psychology of men and masculinity news, as well as updates regarding organizational aspects of SPSMM. If you have access to the Internet, you can subscribe to SPSMM-L at no cost. Send your request to spsmm@lists.apa.org-Michael E. Addis, PhD

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Proposals are being sought for the Hyde Graduate Student Research Grants. These grants, each up to $500, are awarded to doctoral psychology students to support feminist research. The grants are made possible through the generosity of Janet Hyde, PhD, who donates the royalties from her book Half the Human Experience to this fund. Requirements follow:

1.  Cover-sheet with project title, investigator's name, address, phone, fax, and email address;

2.  A 100-word abstract;

3.  A proposal (five pages maximum, double-spaced ) addressing the project's purpose, theoretical rationale, and procedures;

4.  A one-page statement articulating the study's relevance to feminist goals and importance to feminist research;

5.  The expected timeline for progress and completion of the project;

6.  A faculty sponsor's recommendation, including why the research cannot be funded by other sources;

7.  An itemized budget (if additional funds are needed to ensure completion of the project, please specify sources);

8.  The applicant's curriculum vitae.

A panel of psychologists will evaluate the proposals for theoretical and methodological soundness, relevance to feminist goals, applicant's training and qualifications to conduct the research, and feasibility of completing the project. Grant recipients are expected to submit a progress report within 18 months of receipt of a grant.  

Send five copies to Silvia Sara Canetto, PhD, Chair, Hyde Research Award, Department of Psychology, Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO 80523-1876, Phone: (970) 491-5415, Fax: (970) 491-1032, Email: scanetto@lamar.colostate.edu  

Submission deadlines are January 15 and June 15.

SPSMM Mission Statementgo to the top of the page

The Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity (SPSMM) promotes the critical study of how gender shapes and constricts men's lives, and is committed to an enhancement of men's capacity to experience their full human potential. SPSMM endeavors to erode constraining definitions of masculinity which historically have inhibited men's development, their capacity to form meaningful relationships, and have contributed to the oppression of other people. SPSMM acknowledges its historical debt to feminist-inspired scholarship on gender, and commits itself to the support of groups such as women, gays, lesbians and peoples of color that have been uniquely oppressed by the gender/class/race system. SPSMM vigorously contends that the empowerment of all persons beyond narrow and restrictive gender role definitions leads to the highest level of functioning in individual women and men, to the most healthy interactions between the genders, and to the richest relationships between them.

John D. Robinson Honoredgo to the top of the page

John D. Robinson, EdD, MPH, Professor of Psychiatry and Surgery at Howard University College of Medicine, was awarded the Doctor of Humane Letters-Honoris causa, by the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology (MSPP) in Boston on June 10, 2000.  This honorary degree was awarded to Dr. Robinson for his more than 20 years of distinguished service in promoting ethnic minority issues in psychology.  MSPP established a scholarship fund named for him in 1982 with the stipulation that the scholarship can be awarded to any student at MSPP who is interested in research and/or clinical practice in the area of ethnic minority issues.  John served on the Board of Trustees of MSPP 1978-1982 while he was on the faculty of the Harvard University School of Medicine.

Also this year, John was the recipient of the first American Board of Professional Psychology (ABPP) Distinguished Service and Contributions to the American Board of Professional Psychology award.  It was given to him because of his service to ABPP in recruiting ethnic minorities and military candidates and successfully mentoring them through the examination process.  In 1998, he received the APA 1998 Raymond Fowler Award given by the American Psychological Association for Graduate Students (APAGS) for outstanding work as a mentor.

John is a Fellow of the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity and is president-elect of the American Board of Clinical Psychology (ABClinP) of the ABPP.

Report on MiniConventiongo to the top of the page

Jean Chin, MiniConvention Chair

Norine Johnson's Presidential MiniConvention on Task Force for Expanding Opportunities in Psychology will feature innovative practices and expanding opportunities for psychologists in the 21st century. We will have "pod" with experts to offer consultation and dialogue instead of the usual paper presentations. This will feature diverse areas including gender and multicultural issues as well as practice in less traditional areas.

Division 51 Central Officego to the top of the page

Has your address changed?

Do you have a question about your membership?

Are you missing copies of the journal or newsletter?

Do you need a membership application sent to a friend?

Contact: Keith Cooke

Division 51 Administrative Office

American Psychological Association

750 First Street, NE

Washington, DC 20002-4242

Phone: 202-336-6197 . Fax: 202-218-3599

Email: kcooke@apa.org

Divisions 35 and 51 Liaisongo to top of the page

Denise Twohey has been appointed as liaison between Divisions 35 (Society for the Psychology of Women) and 51. Please contact her at denise_twohey@und.nodak.edu with your ideas about how the Divisions might share programs, ideas, interests, resources, or anything else.

APA Convention Dates

2001 	San Francisco, CA
2002 	Chicago, IL 		August 23-27
2003 	Toronto, Canada 	August 8-12
2004 	Honolulu, HI 		July 30-August 5
2005 	Washington, DC 		August 19-23
2006 	New Orleans, LA 	August 11-15

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Application for Membership in SPSMMgo to the top of the page






Home Telephone:___(_____)_________-_______________

Office Telephone:___(_____)_________-_______________


APA Membership Status:

o Member/Fellow     o Associate Member

o Student Affiliate     o Non-APA Member 

APA Membership No.:____________________


SPSMM Membership Status Desired:

o Member (Psychology Doctorate, APA Member/Fellow) . $25

o Associate Member (Associate Member of APA) . $25

o Student Affiliate (Student Affiliate of APA) . $5

o Affiliate (Interested in SPSMM & Non-APA Member) . $25


Sex: o Male   o Female


o European-American  o African-American  o Hispanic/Latino

o Asian/Pacific Islander  o American Indian/Alaskan  o Other


o PhD  o EdD  o PsyD  o MA/MS  o MD  o Other


Make check payable to Division 51, SPSMM. Send application & check to Division 51 Administrative Office, American Psychological Association, 750 First St., NE, Washington, DC 20002-4242.

SPSMM Policy on Book Reviews   go to the top of the page

SPSMM provides book reviews for members to learn about the latest books in the field. Currently, book reviews are published in the SPSMM Bulletin because page space in the Division's journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity (PMM) is at a premium with priority being placed on publishing manuscripts. This policy could be revisited once additional pages are allocated to PMM.

Persons interested in reviewing books or having their books reviewed in the Bulletin should contact the SPSMM Book Review Editor. The SPSMM Bulletin Book Editor will exercise his or her discretion as to which book will be reviewed in any given issue based on his or her judgment about the interests of the membership and mission of SPSMM. The current SPSMM Book Review Editor is Dr. Jay Wade, Department of Psychology, Fordham University, Dealy Hall, 441 E. Fordham Rd., Bronx, NY 10458.

Book reviewers must assert in writing that they do not have a conflict of interest or personal relationship that would interfere with providing an objective review. The Book Review Editor will select reviewers in response to an author's request, and the author will provide a copy of the book to the Book Review Editor.

Visit Our Websitego to the top of the page

The Division's website is under revision through the efforts of Dr. Robert Rando. When it is completed, please visit it for information about all the activities of the Division: position statement, bylaws, officers, task force information, membership information, discussion list information, important links, convention programming, newsletter archives, election information, information on submitting cookbook recipes, and a research project page that facilitates the process of planning research, linking colleagues, and organizing presentations. Visit it today! www.apa.org/divisions/div51

Come and Get It! go to the top of the page

The Division's Cookbook is ready for release and people are raving about it. In the words of Sam Cochran, "This is a spectacular collection of recipes and stories, truly distinctive in the world of cookbooks . . . I will treasure this book for many years to come. After all, in what other cookbook will you find Lenore Walker's Holiday Turkey, David Lisak's inspirational recipe for red chile sauce, Murry Scher's 'best blueberry muffins in the world' recipe, Ron Levant's couscous-stuffed green pepper recipe, or David Rose's Teppanyaki Pancake recipe (yum). All the recipes in the book are clearly 'family favorites' that are conveyed with a loving and charming sense of personal history. This is a cookbook that everyone must own!" The Division's Cookbook is now available by sending a $20 check to Larry Beer at Child and Family Psychological Services, 5380 Holiday Terrace, Kalamazoo, MI 49009. Make your check payable to "Larry Beer."

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Society for the Psychological Student of Men and Masculinity

Division 51 of the American Psychological


January-December 2001


James Dean, PhD
527 Sixth Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Phone: (718) 768-0422
Fax: (718) 387-6028
E-mail: deannyc@jps.net


Sam V. Cochran, PhD
University Counseling Service
3223 Westlawn
University of Iowa
Iowa City, IA 52242-1100
Phone: (319) 335-7294
Fax: (319) 335-7298
E-mail: sam-cochran@uiowa.edu


Michael Andronico, PhD
821 Hamilton Street
Somerset, NJ 08873
Phone: (732) 249-4464
E-mail: andronico@www.thethinker.com 


Lawrence B. Beer, EdD
6101 Rothbury Street
Portage, MI 49024-2390
Phone: (616) 372-4140
Fax: (616) 372-0390
E-mail: lbbkzoo@aol.com  

TREASURER (2000-2001)

James Campbell, PhD
Department of Counseling
Indiana State University
Terre Haute, IN 47809
Phone: (812) 237-2870
Fax: (812) 237-4348
E-mail: egcampb@befac.indstate.edu  


Doug Haldeman, PhD (2000-2002)
2910 E. Madison St., #302
Seattle, WA 98112
Phone: (w) (206) 328-6025; (h) (206) 364-8276
Fax: (206) 860-2411
E-mail: 76043.520@compuserve.com  

Michael G. Laurent, PhD (2000-2002)
Counseling Psychologist
Student Development
California State Univ., Dominguez Hills
Carson, CA 90747
Phone: (310) 243-3625
Fax: (310) 516-3651
E-mail: mlaurent@DHVX20.CSUDH.EDU

Neil A. Massoth, PhD (2001-2003)
Fairleigh Dickinson University
Teaneck, NJ 07666
Phone: (201) 692-2300
Fax: (201) 444-7201
E-mail: nmassoth@aol.com

Holly B. Sweet, PhD (2001-2003)
Room 24-612, MIT
77 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, MA 02135
Phone: (617) 253-7786
Fax: (617) 258-9500
E-mail: hbsweet@mit.edu


Glenn E. Good, PhD
16 Hill Hall, University of Missouri
Columbia, MO 65211
Phone: (573) 882-3084
Fax: (573) 884-5989
E-mail: edcogood@showme.missouri.edu


Ron Levant, EdD, ABPP
Office of the Dean
Center for Psychological Studies
Nova Southeastern University
3301 College Avenue
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33314
Phone: (954) 262-5701
Fax: (954) 262-3859
E-mail: RLevant@aol.com



Taleb Khairallah
62 East 200 South 123-3
Ephram, UT 84627
Phone: (435) 253-8078
E-mail: talebk@iname.com


Gloria Behar Gottsegen, PhD
5011 West Oakland Park Blvd-#210A
Lauderdale Lakes, FL 33313
E-mail: GGottsegen@aol.com
Phone: (954) 733-1685
Fax: (954) 733-1685



Lawrence B. Beer, EdD


Jim Mahalik, PhD
Campion Hall 312
Boston College
Chestnut Hill, MA 02467
Phone: (617) 552-4077
Fax: (617) 552-1981
E-mail: Mahalik@bc.edu  


Gary Brooks, PhD
Psychology Service (116B4)
VA Medical Center
Temple, TX 76504
Phone: (254) 778-4811 x5194
Fax: (254) 771-4563
Pager: (800) 752-3307 (ID#3988730)
E-mail: Brooks.gary_r@temple.va.gov or Gbrooks300@aol.com  


Marty Wong, PhD
15 Elizabeth Street
Charleston, SC 29403
Phone: (843) 853-2818
E-mail: BarbaWong@aol.com  


Corey Habben, PsyD
1401 Lakewood Drive, Suite A
Morris, IL 60450
E-mail: chabben@juno.com
Phone: (w) (815) 942-6323; (h) (815) 941-9150
Fax: (815) 941-0308  


Sam V. Cochran, PhD


John M. Robertson, PhD
Lafene Health Center, Room 238 (UCS)
Kansas State University
Manhattan, KS 66506
Phone: (785) 532-6927
E-mail: johnrobe@ksu.edu

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connect to american psychological association

Division 51 Webmaster: Robert A. Rando, Ph.D.
Last modification on July 11, 2001