In Vermont, storytelling and the psychology of courage

By Patrick A. McGuire
Monitor Senior Editor

It seemed appropriate that a conference called 'The psychology of courage' was being conducted a few weeks ago within the storied folds of Vermont?s Green Mountains. This was, after all, home ground to brave revolutionary war heroes such as Ethan Allen and his Green Mountain Boys.

But at the resort in Stowe, on a rainy Friday, those expecting to find the inner strength to, say, slay a dragon, were in for a surprise. For the brand of courage being discussed and promoted here was much more subtle?certainly more realistic?and very definitely rooted in a feminine perspective.

'The word ?courage? originally meant to speak your mind with all your heart,' explained Elizabeth Bernstein, an organizer of the one-day conference, sponsored jointly by the Vermont Psychological Association and the state chapter of the National Association of Social Workers.

'The word was taken over by male warriors,' said Bernstein, a Burlington therapist. 'And it got to be, ?Let?s slay the dragon.? But when you have courage to speak your mind with all your heart, you?re true to yourself.'

Developing that inner resolve to be 'authentic,' was what the VPA?s subcommittee on women and minorities, which Bernstein chairs, had in mind for this conference. 'The group said we want to talk about courage. Because as women and minorities we feel we need more of it than other people.'

Another inspiration for the conference, said Bernstein, was the challenge to psychologists delivered recently by APA President Martin E.P. Seligman, PhD, that they should emphasize human strengths as opposed to weakness.

The power of stories

By design, the approach to the topic of courage at this event, attended by 150 clinical therapists, was indirect. There was little in the way of chapter and verse about research in the field of courage or formulas for the best ways to get courage. Instead, most of the workshops, and even the keynote addresses, quietly emphasized the strength-building value of telling one?s own story.

A mental health counselor who was a single, white mother, for example, told of the inner challenges of raising an adopted African-American boy. An Indian-born psychiatrist told of incurring the rejection of his father when he shaved his beard and removed his turban, symbols of his Sikh religious past.

A therapist from the Burlington area, told of finally admitting to her father that she was a lesbian and of the insight it gave her into her work as a clinician.

'We all want a lot of courage and want to find how to get more of it,' she said. 'If we can have our ears tuned into these stories of resistance [from patients], they will unfold. And we can encourage the people we work with to live a life that is more authentic.'

But be warned, said Deborah Ann Leupnitz, PhD, a family therapist from Philadelphia. Sometimes, she said, 'we think that to find our own voice we have to match someone else?s voice.' She recalled a patient named Ruth who had been demoralized as a young girl when a teacher gave her a failing grade on a personal essay about herself. She failed because her version of herself hadn?t conformed to the teacher?s notion of who she was.

The result?

'A kind of cynicism that if you speak with your own voice you will be punished,' said Leupnitz. 'This anecdote gave me such a view into Ruth?s world that it helped me care about her in a new way.'

The lost myth

Many of those in attendance at this conference represented a gay-lesbian perspective, or a feminist viewpoint. Representing both of those constituencies was Rev. Jane Spahr, a noted lesbian Presbyterian minister, who counsels gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities across the country.

In telling the story of her own coming out as a lesbian, and of challenging the authority of her church, she also recounted the myth of St. George. 'He slew the dragon because the dragon was bad,' she said. 'But there was also St. Martha. She tamed the dragon. She befriended the dragon. This is one of our feminist myths that has been lost. Courage could mean to slay the dragon. But could it also mean to tame our fears?'

That connection between fear, courage and storytelling resonated in the corridors between workshop sessions and before a roaring fire in a lounge when it had ended.

'The willingness to stand up and speak the truth has a ripple effect,' said Jean Reinsborough, a therapist from nearby Burlington. 'I think that?s how courage works.'

Eric Nichols, PhD, the conference coordinator and a member of the graduate faculty at the University of Vermont, agreed. 'Through the telling of stories, others get the courage then to have their own voice,' he said.

'Before I came out as gay, I thought I would kill myself,' he added. 'I couldn?t envision my life any other way. I was married. I had kids. The pieces didn?t go together. It was only through support and hearing stories and seeing other ways life could happen that I could find the courage to move ahead. I think there are many more stories now.'