Fortifying families is Mary Pipher?s mission

By Sara Martin
Monitor Editor

Mary Pipher, PhD, says that five years ago, most people viewed her as 'a sort of marginalized hippie' for her strong opinions on how the media and corporate culture were poisoning American families.

Today, her theories on family life are widely accepted by liberals and conservatives alike, driving them to unplug their televisions, re-examine the role of money in their lives and spend more time with their children , she says.

In fact, her best-selling books, which include 'Reviving Ophelia' and 'The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families,' have even prompted many psychologists to change the way they practice, she says.

'Most psychologists have been trained to look at families in an old-fashioned model, one in which the family is dysfunctional,' says Pipher, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Lincoln, Neb. But, she says, it?s time for psychologists to look beyond parents for some of the family?s problems.

'The parental structure of the family isn?t what causes it to break down. It?s the outside societal and cultural forces that do,' she explains.

Families are fragmented, she says, 'but families are really all that most people have, so therapists need to strengthen them and be more focused on building family relationships.'

Psychologists? ability to strengthen families is the theme of Pipher?s keynote speech 'Building strong families,' at

9?9:50 a.m., Saturday, Aug. 15, in the Moscone Convention Center?South Building, Room 104, during APA?s 1998 Annual Convention in San Francisco.

A cultural force

Pipher, who earned her PhD in psychology from the University of Nebraska and holds a BA in cultural anthropology from the University of California at Berkeley, became a cultural force in 1994 with the publication of 'Reviving Ophelia' (Grosset/Putnam). The book opened America?s eyes to the psychological toll that adolescent girls face growing up in a country rife with sexual abuse, school violence and an overwhelming pressure to be thin. It spent 149 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list, holding the number-one spot for 28 weeks.

Her latest book was also a New York Times best seller that sold more than 200,000 copies: 'The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families' (Grosset/Putnam, 1996) explores the loss of community in America and asserts that 'children are being raised by appliances.' It encourages people to develop their own family structures rather than rely on popular culture to do it for them and urges them to be selective in the media they allow to enter their lives.

Pipher believes that helping families make appropriate choices is a perfect role for psychologists, who are also redefining their place in a changing society.

'The psychology field is struggling with several internal questions: What are we doing? How can we help? How can we be more useful?' says Pipher. 'At the same time, we are beset by outside forces, such as managed-care , turf battles and market forces. But we have a role in strengthening families by helping them make good choices for themselves on how they relate to today?s culture.'

Part of that role she envisions for psychologists is doing more cooperative work and outreach in their communities. 'Too often psychologists focus only on helping individual families, but they need to be making a difference in their communities, too.' She suggests, for example, that more psychologists become involved in programs for troubled teens, mother-daughter camps or any other programs that give children a place to go after school?the time they are most apt to get into trouble.

Pipher?s keynote speech will also present tidbits from her next book, 'Another Country: The Emerging Terrain of Our Elders,' due out next spring. Inspired by her five elderly aunts, Pipher is investigating the family issues that elderly people face in a modern society that devalues cross-generational bonding.

'We put our 3-year-olds in one place, our 14-year-olds in another and our 80-year-olds in another,' she says. 'It makes everyone a little crazy and sick.'

Through the stories she?s gathered for her book and will share in her talk, she hopes to inspire people to connect with more older people?whether it?s reaching out to their own family members or simply making an effort to know the older people in their neighborhoods.

More cultural dialogue

Pipher?s home life makes her a credible source for espousing views on American families. She has been married for 25 years to Jim Pipher, PhD, who is also a practicing psychologist. They have two children: a daughter, who has just earned a Fulbright Scholarship, and a son who is entering graduate school.

She cautiously admits that her work is making a difference. '?Shelter' is leading to more cultural dialogue and making more people question ?the good life??making money, having a certain status, having the same consumer goods as other people,' she says.

'There is tremendous interest in the building of communities, the strengthening of families and helping kids,' she says. 'Recently, I spoke in Sioux Falls, S.D., and 4,000 people showed up. Of course, I see a lot of interest in my work because it?s my work to travel to interested people, but more people think like I do.'Y