Staying Connected: A Guide for Parents on Raising an Adolescent Daughter

Puberty

Puberty, nature’s way of transforming children into adults, today tends to start for White girls around age 11 1 /2,from 6 months to a year younger than it did for their mothers. (There are a number of theories as to why this is happening, but no one yet has the answer.) Black and Hispanic girls come into puberty about a year earlier than White girls, and Asian American girls somewhat later. This biological event also marks the onset of adolescence, a period of life that extends to the end of the teens and brings the budding young woman into a new world of relationships.

Although adolescence is an exuberant time of life for the most part, puberty itself can be an awkward and confusing time for girls as they adjust to their changing bodies and new social roles. Body mass increases, and fat shifts to breasts and hips even as girls spurt in height. With legs and arms invariably the first to start growing rapidly, many girls look ungainly for a while. Typically, menstruation, as it has for many generations, ensues on average at 12 1 /2 years or when weight hits approximately 105 pounds, bringing hormonal adjustments that can affect emotions.

But by far the greatest change in adolescence occurs in the growth of the brain, especially in the front of the brain, the seat of reasoning, judgment, self-control, and social behavior. As they mature, girls also learn gender roles and stereotypes, basically what society considers the roles and responsibilities of women to be.

A father's involvement throughout his daughter's life is important. His relationship with his daughter is associated with a girl's work success, occupational competency, and sense of comfort and mastery of the world around her.

How Can You Help There is no substitute for a parent, and single parents must be especially diligent about carving out occasions when they can spend time with a daughter one on one. For girls without fathers, there are usually healthy male role models to be found among relatives, teachers, and coaches. Mothers, of course, should take a reasonably cautious approach to letting a male into their daughter’s life.

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