Table of Contents: Parents

Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Introduction

  1. Why is She So Difficult to Deal With? Understanding and Communicating With Adolescent Girls

  2. Why Can't She Ever Think For Herself? Adolescent Girls and Their Peer Group

  3.  Will I Ever Stop Worrying About Her? The Vulnerabilities of Adolescent Girls

  4. How Can I Help Her Feel Good About Herself? Building Strength and Resiliency in Adolescent Girls

  5. How Will She Ever Become an Independent Woman? Helping Adolescent Girls Prepare For The Future?

Excerpt from Chapter 1. Why is She So Difficult to Deal With? Understanding and Communicating With Adolescent Girls

WHAT CAN I SAY WHEN MY ADOLESCENT DAUGHTER HAS EXPERIENCED FAILURE AND IS UPSET?
Savannah H.

Parents hurt when their kids hurt. A failure is not only painful for your daughter, but is painful for you, too. This is one of those time when you wish you could make it all better, but you may not be able to. You can't make the pain disappear, but you can help your daughter to understand that failure is a normal, acceptable, and often unavoidable, experience throughout life.

Excerpt from Chapter 1: Why Is She So Difficult to Deal With? Understanding and Communicating With Adolescent Girls

DOES A TEENAGE GIRL HAVE TO REBEL? CAN IT BE PREVENTED, OR IS IT UNAVOIDABLE? DOES THERE HAVE TO BE FRICTION BETWEEN ADOLESCENT GIRLS AND THEIR PARENTS?
Michelle P.

It's a myth that teen girls must fight with their parents for them to have a successful passage into adulthood. While popular culture depicts and highlights a great deal of turmoil between teen girls and their parents, particularly their mothers, extreme rebellion is rare. So, try not to label your daughter's healthy push to have a reasonable degree of independence as "rebelling."

Excerpt from Chapter 1: Why Is She So Difficult to Deal With? Understanding and Communicating With Adolescent Girls

AS A PARENT, HOW CAN I EFFECTIVELY WALK THE TIGHTROPE BETWEEN TOO LITTLE CONTROL AND TOO MUCH CONTROL?
Natalie R.

For most parents, the issue of control during adolescence has to do with decisions their teen makes and which decisions they still make. Typically, these struggles for control are about things like curfew, spending money, driving, hanging out with friends, whether your daughter is allowed to be at an unsupervised party, allowed to have her boyfriend over when no adult is home, or allowed to get rides with people you don't know. So, issues of control can arise in many different circumstances, and parents are often faced with trying to walk the tightrope between maintaining or giving up control.

Excerpt from Chapter 2: Why Can't She Ever Think for Herself? Adolescent Girls and Their Peer Group

WHY DOES MY ADOLESCENT DAUGHTER WEAR "WEIRD STUFF"?
Mike O.

To begin with, you've got to remember that what you think is weird is not weird to your daughter. And, if you constantly criticize and judge your daughter's way of dressing, she will feel like you don't respect her right to have her own form of self-expression through her clothes.

Chapter 5: How Will She Ever Become an Independent Woman? Helping Adolescent Girls Prepare for the Future

HOW CAN I ENCOURAGE MY DAUGHTER TO LOOK AT THE FUTURE, WHEN SHE IS ONLY LOOKING AT TODAY?
Denise F.

Before you get too distressed or discouraged about your daughter's perspective of "only looking at today," try to remember your own teen years. Can you remember the days when your "future" was summer vacation, or who your teacher was going to be next year, or when you would start high school, have permission to date, or be old enough to drive? Try to reflect back on your adolescence and remember what you were focused on. Is your daughter really any different? It is normal for your daughter to be focused on the here and now, or on the "immediate future," rather than on long-range plans. It's a typical adolescent perspective.

Of course, in spite of this truth, it is important to encourage your daughter to keep her future in mind. You can do this by asking her questions, like "What do you think will happen if you…?" or "Have you considered the possibility of…?" Questions that encourage your daughter to make connections between today and tomorrow are a great way to get her to look at the future and not be totally absorbed in the present.