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APA Psychotherapy Training Videos are intended solely for educational purposes for mental health professionals. Viewers are expected to treat confidential material found herein according to strict professional guidelines. Unauthorized viewing is prohibited.
In Couples Therapy for Extramarital Affairs, Dr. Don-David Lusterman demonstrates his empathic, psychoeducational approach to working with couples in which one partner has had an affair. Therapy begins with acknowledgment of the "victim" status of the partner who discovered the affair. Dr. Lusterman then works to restore trust and helps the discoverer to transcend the role of victim by encouraging empathy in the offending partner for the discoverer's feelings. In this session, Dr. Lusterman works with a couple in which the husband has admitted to an affair with a coworker. The emotionally charged nature of this session requires the therapist to actively guide the couple away from the dynamic of blame and blame-avoidance toward honesty and openness. This video features a client portrayed by an actor on the basis of actual case material. Read about precipitating events, stimulus questions, and preceding sessions with the clients
Couples therapy in cases of marital infidelity must begin with an acknowledgment of the trauma experienced by the discoverer. The therapist must help both partners understand the precise nature of the trauma occasioned by the infidelity and its predictable effects. Integrating this psychoeducational focus with a strongly empathic attitude toward the discoverer's pain models for the offending mate the empathy needed to support his or her partner and provides a basis for understanding how healing can occur.
Don-David Lusterman, PhD, is in independent practice in Baldwin, New York. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology from the Ferkauf School of Yeshiva University, and was also trained at the Family Studies Program of Roosevelt Hospital, in New York City. He was the founding executive director of the American Board of Family Psychology (now part of the American Board of Professional Psychology [ABPP]) and established the program in family counseling at Hofstra University.
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