It has come to my attention that I have a "condition" that I think is common for many graduate students in psychology. It's an elusive and sometimes subtle disease whose symptoms I easily and frequently justify. What is this ailment, you ask? I call it As Soon As Syndrome (ASA).
ASA has worsened for me over time, but it is something that I only recently have begun to see as a true problem. It sounds something like this: "As soon as I finish my grad school applications, I'll get back to the gym," "As soon as comps are over, I'll start dating again," "I'll make that doctor's appointment as soon as my dissertation is defended," or "As soon as internship is over, I'll be able to focus on having a family."
As soon as, as soon as. The list goes on indefinitely. And the costs of ASA are real and should not be ignored. By putting off important tasks and goals in our lives, we can damage our relationships and even undermine our health. I wish I had seen the signs of ASA sooner in my graduate career and taken them seriously. At this point in my life, I continue to struggle with balancing my passion for my work and my personal life.
How can you save yourself from a similar fate? Here's my advice:
- Notice the signs early: It's normal to want to work hard in graduate school. However, beware of taking on more than you can realistically complete, especially early on as you are exploring your interests and choosing a path. If you notice that you are putting yourself at the bottom of your list, canceling events or appointments you normally wouldn't, or hear yourself saying the characteristic "as soon as" phrase, step back and re-evaluate.
- Be aware of the culture in your department or program: Pay attention to the attitudes of faculty, students and staff. Do people look tired? Do they talk about overwhelming amounts of work and deadlines? If you ask people about work-life balance there, do they cringe or laugh? These are likely indicators that you will be expected to make work your life. If that is the case, figure out ways to make sure you establish work boundaries so that you don't lose sight of your needs and priorities.
- Have others hold you accountable: Whether you are just on the lookout for ASA or already have the telltale signs, ask your peers, friends and family to help you stay on track. Tell them you want to meet regularly for a social or family event and to hold you accountable for making those dates. Make a tentative life plan with markers for when you would ideally like to accomplish or reach certain goals (such as a particular trip, having a baby, etc.) that you can discuss with trusted friends or family. Ask them to tell you if they notice ASA taking over.
- Prioritize: Early and often, be reflective about yourself and your life. Time flies by, particularly in graduate school with full semesters comprising multiple deadlines and tasks. Prioritize your graduate school duties in relation to your personal values and hobbies. There will be times that school has to come first, but that should not be the norm. You can put reminders of your priorities in places you will frequently see (a picture or list on the fridge or a background on your phone, for example).
The demands asked of graduate students seem to continuously grow, and my guess is that many of you can relate to my experience of ASA. I recently heard a great piece of advice that has helped me overcome ASA syndrome: Only do work and other tasks that add to your life. If the work you are taking on is not adding to your life in a positive way, if it is subtracting from it, why are you doing it?