As I write this column, APA's Annual Convention in Toronto is next week. The investigative report by David Hoffman is consuming much of our minds and inboxes (see "APA responds to independent report"). I am struggling with the report's contents and find myself feeling sad, confused, hurt, betrayed and disappointed. I have had restless nights full of concern and curiosity about what is ahead for our association. Most important, I have been thinking tirelessly about the impact on graduate students in the coming months and years.
Part of me wants to give you answers and action steps, because that is what helps me move through tough times. Right now I don't have those. What I do have, and what I believe we all have, is a sea of raw feelings and a mountain of questions. I continue to ask myself, "How could this happen? What in my training regarding ethics has been real? What does this mean for future graduate training? Who can I trust? Where do we start to right this wrong? How can students influence the change? What do students need now and in the near future? How can I help?" My hope is that through our conversations, we can begin to answer these and other questions you all have.
As I work through all of this, I remain firm on two things: I do not support torture and my No. 1 goal as a psychologist, leader and human is to first do no harm. While these moral guidelines seem clear and easy to accomplish, I remember an unsettling day in my master's ethics course. The class discussion focused on ethical dilemmas in military settings. I was completely confused and disheartened by the lack of clarity within this section of our guiding code. Our professor seemed equally confused. For nearly an hour, he tried to guide 15 curious aspiring psychologists through a muddy, hypothetical ethical scenario. Our goal was to confidently arrive at an ethically sound solution, having made clearly defined decisions at critical choice points. We arrived at a decision, but not a satisfactory one. To this day, I am not sure if the arrived-upon decision was in fact an ethical one. That discussion taught me to remain curious about ethics, to seek multiple consultations, and to continuously explore the reasoning behind ethical decision-making. Also after that discussion, I closed the door to pursuing a career within the VA or with the military, a path I had seriously considered.
Still, along with sadness, I feel optimism. I find comfort in knowing our generation of psychologists was not involved in the events detailed in the investigative report. I am inspired by my colleagues and fellow leaders who unequivocally place doing no harm above all else. I find comfort in knowing that we will be instrumental in shaping the future of our association. Our experiences matter. The association is focused on resetting our moral compass. As students, our fresh eyes, innovative thinking and commitment to do no harm are vital during this turning point. I ask you to trust your gut, reach out, share your stories and get involved in our regrowth.
With much hope,
Christine