People have developed various rituals around ending important life periods. They get together for a last meal, throw a good-bye party, or see their visitors off at the airport.
Why would people go through this effort in finding a round ending rather than moving on right away to what is coming next? Most research on life transitions has focused on the new beginning and on what helps once people have started their new life period.
In a new article in Motivation Science, researchers asked a different question: How does the way people end the previous life phase impact emotional well-being and the transition into the new beginning?
In their article, Schwörer, Krott, and Oettingen (2020) introduced the concept of a well-rounded ending, defined as an ending marked by a sense of closure. Specifically, people should describe an ending as well-rounded if they feel that they have done everything they could have done, that they have completed something to the fullest, and that all loose ends are tied up (i.e., a feeling of closure).
The authors found that a well-rounded ending is associated with high positive affect, low regret, and an easy transition into the subsequent phase. For example, the more well-rounded exchange students experienced the end of a visit abroad, the more positive they felt afterwards, the less regret they experienced about having missed out on opportunities, and the easier it was for them to settle into their home again.
Importantly, the research also showed that ending a phase in a well-rounded way causally promotes positive affect and a constructive transition.
In one study, participants read stories about fictional characters who face foreseeable endings, such as moving away from one's hometown or leaving a best friend's wedding party. Those who were led to imagine ending these periods in a well-rounded way felt more positive about the past time, felt less regret about unfinished business, and were not compelled to think about or act on missed opportunities and undone actions.
In a final study, the authors organized a Skype conversation between two strangers. Half of the participants were briefly informed that there were only two minutes left and that they should try to end the call in a well-rounded way.
Indeed, those participants who were given the instructions of a well-rounded ending significantly excelled in a subsequent test measuring executive function skills. Apparently, the one-sentence reminder of ending the conversation in a well rounding way was enough to increase the performance on a task in the subsequent phase.
This research is taking a new focus on life transitions by showing that efforts to end the previous phase is effective in promoting a good start. It appears that how we deal with foreseeable endings, e.g., ending high school, ending a vacation, ending a job, or even ending a conversation is as important as focusing on creating a good start.
In our fast-paced world, this is an important message to remember: Take your time to end in a well-rounded way in order to be equipped to peacefully start anew and go on with your life.
Citation
Schwörer, B., Krott, N. R., & Oettingen, G. (2020). Saying goodbye and saying it well: Consequences of a (not) well-rounded ending. Motivation Science, 6(1), 21–33. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/mot0000126
Note: This article is in the Basic / Experimental Psychology topic area. View more articles in the Basic / Experimental Psychology topic area.