Starting graduate school is analogous to bellying up to an expansive all-you-can eat buffet: You are presented with an abundance of opportunities to learn new concepts, shape your area of expertise and develop your professional connections.
It can be overwhelming to figure out what opportunities you actually have time for — and it gets even more challenging when you see fellow students pursuing a host of interesting, unique activities. "You could be doing the thing you were envious of and then see someone doing something else and think, 'Well, that's cool, I want to do that, but now I'm doing this,'" says Renee Cloutier, a doctoral candidate in experimental psychology at the University of North Texas.
This head-spinning desire to do everything can lead students to develop a form of social anxiety psychologists know as fear of missing out, or FOMO. This fear can develop in any social setting, but graduate students fall prey to their own unique brand when faced with myriad academic opportunities. According to Urban Dictionaryopens in new window, FOMO is "often aroused by posts seen on social media websites."
Amy Loughman, a doctoral candidate in neuropsychology at the University of Melbourne, who wrote a blog post about academic FOMOopens in new window, explains it further: "We want to avoid the possible regret of not doing something. The more choices we have, the less satisfied we are with the choice we make. At a societal level, the message is if we make a wrong choice, it really is our own fault."
Risk factors
Cloutier says the fear of missing out is common early in graduate careers. "As graduate students, we need to establish ourselves as someone worth collaborating with so we can get opportunities in the future," she explains. "We are willing to commit to anything that comes our way, even if it actually distracts us from opportunities that are really going to make a difference to our careers."
And, as many students know, even without all those extra opportunities, there are tremendous demands on graduate students. "You feel you have to be this perfect package when you apply for internships or jobs," says APAGS Chair Christine Jehu, PhD.
That intense academic and professional pressure is often coupled with the pressure to keep up with peers. Yolanda Perkins-Volk, a doctoral student at the Minnesota School of Professional Psychology at Argosy University, has these fears as she thinks about going to internship interviews with too little research experience. "What will it look like when I'm in a group interview and others are talking about their research experience? Or, what if a question or conversation comes out of the blue about something I haven't been doing?"
"Students are well aware of what each other does and they think, 'I'm not doing those things. I need to do more,'" says Jeffrey E. Barnett, PsyD, ABPP, associate dean and psychology professor at Loyola University in Maryland. "The challenge is to not get caught up in the cycle of doing more, doing better and taking on more. The idea that doing more is better is not true. It's better to do three things well than to do eight things poorly."
Comparing ourselves to others is a definite pitfall, Barnett adds. "I tell students to remember that we only see what that person shows publicly. We don't see that the person is suffering from burnout, or is stressed out and miserable or has no social life."
The consequences of FOMO
The consequences of trying to do everything for fear of missing out can be serious. "Students are trying to do so many things but they are not caring for themselves," says Barnett, who co-authored the book "Self-care for Clinicians in Trainingopens in new window" (2014). "If students are not getting enough sleep and exercise or they aren't maintaining a balanced diet and a personal life, their ability to function effectively will deteriorate."
Loughman says that during her first two years of graduate school, she tried to enhance her degree in every possible way, such as by auditing extra classes, attending every information session and conference she could, and teaching herself statistical programming. In doing so, she became the go-to person for advice on everything from university policy to grant applications. "It became a little dysfunctional. Over time, my hunger for new opportunities was disproportional to the benefit. I was being indiscriminate and it was not a productive use of my time." She felt the pressure of FOMO, which was an additional stressor she says she didn't need. "I was going to talks and hearing the same thing again and again. I'm sure some of that time could have been better spent on my research."
Graduate school is a great time to explore interests and try new things, but "it's a balance between pushing your boundaries for your own good and pushing it so far that everything falls by the wayside," says Cloutier. "All graduate students have moments when they realize they've let things go too far. It's important to just recognize it and figure out how to avoid it next time."
Avoiding FOMO
One way to avoid falling victim to academic FOMO is to set goals. This makes it easier to be more targeted when looking for opportunities.
"Stop trying to become an expert at everything in your field," says Loughman. "Understand your own strengths and weaknesses so you know where to put your resources, where you will get the most return for your time."
Barnett suggests that students ask professors, supervisors and other faculty to help them set the right objectives. "Faculty can help students develop a more personalized plan based on their own individual education and career goals," says Barnett.
Faculty can also help address concerns about the types of activities students should be involved in, says Perkins-Volk. "They might say, 'Don't worry about it, you are in the right developmental spot' or they might give you some ideas for what else you can do."
Finding balance
When things get too hectic, step back, examine what you are doing, and ask how it is helping you achieve your goals, says Jehu. "Do it nonjudgmentally and give yourself 100 percent permission to do what you need to reach your goals."
Only agree to opportunities that will help you reach your goals, no matter how difficult it can be to say no. "When given an opportunity to collaborate, the tendency is to think, 'If I don't say yes, I won't get asked again,'" says Barnett. "It's a natural tendency, but not realistic. You were asked because of the great work you've been doing up to this point. If you continue to do great work, you will be asked to do other things down the line."
To affirm that you are doing enough of the right things, write a list of your accomplishments, says Jehu. "Put the list on the refrigerator, or keep a file of accolades to look at when you feel like you won't accomplish something."
Gain a balanced perspective by talking with people who are not in the academic world, says Jehu. "Stay connected with family and friends. These are the people who can help bring us back to earth, help us define core values and avoid the fear of missing out."