Member since
1988
What he does
Gray is a clinical psychologist in Houston, where he's been running a private practice specializing in marriage counseling and adult relationships since 1987.
An analytical mind
Although Gray earned a scholarship to study computer science as an undergrad at Southern Methodist University, when he took a psychology course, he realized he was more interested in people than numbers. He earned undergraduate degrees in physics and psychology. "I just found psychology to be an extremely important and growing field and one in which I thought I would have a lot to offer," he says.
Gray earned his PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Houston, where his work with psychologist and adult relationship expert James McCary, PhD, and others inspired his interest in couples therapy. "Being able to have that close, confident relationship with people who have earned our trust — and vice versa — is extremely important in physical health and the ability to make clear, wise, enlightened decisions in anything and everything we do," Gray says.
A psychological spokesperson
Gray is a big believer in spreading psychological science to the public. He has produced his own local television series and shows, and done likewise for the Houston Psychological Association, where he served on the executive committee for seven years and earned a president's award in 2003. He's also served as an expert for the Houston Chronicle and other local publications and led hundreds of workshops and seminars, including some for other relationship professionals. "We can be teaching people an awful lot of practical skills for day-to-day living that have not been disseminated as strongly as they could be," such as simple self-assessments that can help answer why people fall into the same relationship patterns, he says.
Leading by example
Gray works to keep his own relationship strong with his wife, Laurie, a former high school science teacher who now coordinates the clinic's administrative tasks. The pair eats lunch together most days and enjoys playing card games with their two daughters, Cheryl and Valerie.
A turning point in Gray's marriage came when the couple went to workshops led by his cousin John Gray, the relationship counselor who wrote the 1992 best-seller "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." "He was the most effective person I've ever seen at helping people be able to open up in a group setting with their innermost thoughts and feelings," Gray says. As a result, the couple became closer. "It ended up having a pretty profound influence."
— Anna Miller
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