Your teen turned to AI instead of you. What experts say parents can do

As a parent or caregiver, it might feel unsettling when your teen turns to an AI chatbot with questions instead of coming to you. As more people are using AI for everything from common tasks to more personal queries, mental health experts are taking a closer look at the implications for young people.

APA’s health advisory on AI chatbots and wellness apps and their implications for mental health warns while these tools are easy to access and low-cost, they currently lack the scientific evidence and necessary regulations to ensure users’ safety. Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to the potential harms of AI, an earlier APA advisory on AI and youth well-being notes, because they may be less likely to question the accuracy of AI responses, and their reliance on these tools could interfere with the development of healthy, real-world relationships.

Psychologists emphasize an important message: Parents and caregivers play an irreplaceable role in supporting their adolescent’s growth. Teens may turn to AI assistants because it feels safe, private, and nonjudgmental, yet human connection and parental guidance remain essential, according to mental health professionals. If you’re wondering how to help your child navigate this emerging technology, here are some science-backed tips from the experts behind APA’s advisories on AI and youth development and the use of generative AI chatbots and wellness apps for mental health.

Wanting privacy, especially when exploring identity, relationships, and new emotions, is a normal and healthy part of adolescent development, said Joshua Goodman, PhD, a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Southern Oregon University. Conversations with AI chatbots can feel like “a safe space to discuss or process things that [adolescents] otherwise wouldn’t feel safe to talk about with their parents or other people in their life.”

While the desire for privacy and independence is normal during adolescence, that doesn’t mean parents and caregivers should disconnect, especially when it comes to the digital world. “Adolescents may perceive AI as a safe outlet, especially when they’re exploring sensitive topics,” said Mary Alvord, PhD, a clinical psychologist and founder of Alvord, Baker & Associates, LLC. “But perceived safety isn’t the same as real safety. Parents and caregivers can help teens reflect on what makes a space truly safe—and where digital tools may fall short.”

For example, parents can discuss how personal information shared with AI chatbots may be accessed and used by AI developers. Unlike conversations with a trusted friend or therapist bound by confidentiality, chatbot interactions are often stored, analyzed, and potentially used to train AI systems or for other commercial purposes. Personal details about mental health, relationships, or identity that teens share with AI could be retained indefinitely, and there’s often little transparency about how that data is protected or who has access to it. Parents can help teens understand these privacy implications and encourage them to think critically before sharing sensitive information with AI systems.

One way AI chatbots fall short of genuine human connection: they’re highly validating. “[An AI chatbot] is going to respond in a way that is kind and supportive and feels good to be on the receiving end of,” Goodman said. “It’s not going to punish you, ground you, or otherwise be disparaging.” It’s also available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

While that type of unquestioning validation feels good in the moment, “it isn’t helping young people to grow in the ways that are going to be most beneficial for them in the long run,” Goodman said.

That’s why experts recommend parents maintain strong, supportive relationships with their adolescents. “When parents and caregivers show up with warmth, respect, and curiosity, they strengthen the connection that teens need to thrive, especially in a digital world,” Alvord said. In practical terms, being a supportive caregiver “doesn’t mean telling them exactly what they want to hear, or that there will never be any consequences for what they say,” Goodman said. “But it does mean that your child knows that they can come to you with big questions and that you will always love them and support them.”

For example, if a teen comes to a parent or caregiver upset about a conflict with a friend, a supportive response might acknowledge their feelings while also gently exploring different perspectives, something an AI chatbot designed to validate won’t do. The goal is to help teens develop critical thinking and emotional resilience, not just feel good in the moment.

[Related: 2026 Trends: AI chatbots and digital companions are reshaping emotional connection]

“AI use offers an opportunity to strengthen emotional regulation and media literacy skills—if adults are willing to engage, not just monitor,” Alvord said. “That means helping teens evaluate content, but also helping them notice how certain interactions make them feel.”

Parents and caregivers don’t need to be experts to have these conversations. This technology is new for everyone and navigating it together can be a valuable learning experience for both parents and teens. “You don’t have to be an expert on AI. Be honest with your teen if there’s something you don’t know,” Goodman said.

He suggested starting by asking teens about their knowledge and use of AI. Asking questions like “How are you using AI?” or “How are your friends using it?” can start the conversation. As role models, parents and caregivers can also demonstrate appropriate AI use. “That can look like asking questions about the [AI] output that they receive or not completely believing everything that AI output says” simply because it sounds convincing, Goodman said.

To support mutual learning, parents and caregivers can use AI alongside their teens. “Sit in front of a phone or a computer [together] and put in an inquiry to AI and then talk about the output,” Goodman said. Ask your teen what they think about it, how believable it sounds, and if there are things that might be missing. Then go deeper to verify the information the AI provides. This kind of joint inquiry models both critical thinking and responsible AI use, reinforcing media literacy skills teens can carry into adulthood.

As this new technology becomes even more prevalent, the need for ongoing dialogue between caregivers and adolescents becomes even more important. “It definitely is not having one conversation about AI and then you’re done,” Goodman said.

Rather than imposing strict rules from the top down, experts suggest parents and caregivers work collaboratively with teens to establish guidelines around AI use.

“When teens are involved in creating the boundaries and expectations, they’re better able to understand the reasoning behind them and much more likely to follow them,” said Amber W. Childs, PhD, clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine.

This kind of shared decision making can also set the tone that parents and caregivers can be counted on to listen, which can encourage teens to come to their parents for future conversations about their experiences with AI. Guidelines might include agreeing on tech-free times during family meals or before bed, discussing which topics are better suited for human conversation versus AI assistance, or establishing transparency around when and how AI is being used.

“The goal isn’t to eliminate AI use entirely, but to help teens develop a balanced and responsible relationship with how they’re using this technology,” Childs said. These conversations also provide an opportunity to revisit and adjust boundaries as needed, recognizing that what works for a 13-year-old may look different for a 17-year-old.

While some AI use is benign and even helpful, parents and caregivers should stay alert to signs it may be becoming problematic. “Getting in the habit of having conversations early and often about AI use is essential for identifying problematic use,” Childs said.

If AI use seems to be crowding out other important things in your teen’s life, like schoolwork, sleep, or real-life relationships, or is a frequent source of conflict, those are signs that a more focused conversation is needed to support your teen, she said. Other red flags include teens isolating themselves more than usual, referring to their AI chatbot as a “best friend” or primary confidant, showing emotional distress when they can’t access AI, preferring a chatbot to human relationships, spending excessive amounts of time using AI, or concerning changes in their behavior, thinking, or emotional state. Other concerning patterns include using AI to avoid difficult conversations with family or friends or seeking AI advice for serious issues that require professional help.

If your teen’s AI use concerns you, try leading with curiosity. Being open-minded “can help you get clear with your teen about what kinds of strategies might help to adjust how your teen is engaging with AI,” Childs said. For example, if AI use is getting in the way of sleep, you can establish boundaries for nighttime use. “If it is crowding out time with friends, build a plan to help your teen pivot their time back to their peers,” she added.

There’s a deeper reason why some adolescents are drawn to AI: loneliness. As young people spend less time with peers and report increasing rates of social disconnection, some may turn to AI chatbots for the emotional support and connection they’re missing in real life.

“No matter how friendly or helpful AI seems, it can’t replace the emotional depth of a human relationship. Parents can play a key role in helping teens tell the difference—and in encouraging real-world connection,” Alvord said.

If parents and caregivers suspect loneliness is an underlying cause of AI use, Goodman encourages parents to help their teens build those connections in age-appropriate ways like through school activities, community groups, or other social opportunities.

At home, parents and caregivers can ensure they support meaningful connections with their teenage children. “Fostering a close [parent-child] relationship happens in the moments that happen every day,” around the dinner table or on the way to school, Goodman said. Asking a child about their day—and really listening to their answer—can help build that connection between parents and adolescents.

Parents can also help by creating more opportunities for meaningful connection at home. Simple actions like having regular family meals without devices, engaging in shared hobbies or activities, or setting aside time for one-on-one conversations can make a significant difference in a teen’s feeling of connection. When teens feel connected and supported within their family, they’re better equipped to build and maintain friendships outside the home. “Sometimes the antidote to loneliness starts with strengthening the relationships that are already there,” Childs said.

While navigating AI use is the new normal of modern parenting, there are times when professional support becomes necessary. If a teen is using AI to discuss thoughts of self-harm, suicide, serious depression, or other mental health crises, parents and caregivers should seek help from a licensed mental health professional immediately.

“AI chatbots are not equipped to provide therapeutic intervention, and in crisis situations, human expertise is essential,” Alvord said. Other warning signs that may warrant professional help include significant changes in mood or behavior, social withdrawal beyond typical teenage privacy-seeking, declining academic performance, or if a teen becomes emotionally dependent on AI to the point where they will not participate in normal activities and it interferes with daily functioning. “Parents shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to school counselors, therapists, or their pediatrician if they’re concerned,” Alvord said. “Early intervention can make a significant difference.”

APA is closely examining how AI is shaping adolescent development and mental health. APA’s two health advisories on AI and youth well-being and the use of generative AI chatbots set clear recommendations for parents, caregivers, policymakers, and technologists to reduce potential harms, strengthen safeguards, and promote healthy, developmentally informed use of AI by young people. These recommendations help inform conversations with lawmakers at the state, federal, and international levels as they consider new policies and regulations aimed at reducing the risks of AI while supporting its safe and beneficial use.

APA continues to advocate for stronger protections to limit harm and encourage technology that supports young people’s mental health and development. For more on APA’s work on AI and youth mental health, explore our resources.