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This book draws from cutting-edge psychological research to provide advice for people who are undergoing religious change.
Americans today are leaving religion in record numbers. For many, the faith, practices, and institutions that once provided comfort and guidance no longer fit their beliefs and values. This shift often comes with a price, however. While turning away from religion can bring about freedom, awe, and wonder, it can also engender a profound loss of meaning, purpose, community, and identity. It can threaten our relationships with friends and family. And it can pose a significant challenge to the mental health of even the most resilient among us.
How can people who are no longer served by traditional religion find new meaning and purpose? How can they process the grief that often accompanies religious or spiritual change? And how can they address challenging interpersonal relationships with people who do not support or understand their religious change? In this book, psychologist Daryl Van Tongeren draws from psychological theories and research to examine the emotional and social processes involved with religious change and offers science-based guidance for building a new life—with or without religion.
If you are rethinking your religious beliefs, have experienced religious loss or struggle, or have undergone a significant religious change, you are not alone. By understanding how people before us have left or transformed their religion, we can discover new ways of finding peace, experiencing meaning, and, if desired, engaging with the transcendent. Let their wisdom—and this book—be your guide.
Introduction. The Great Disillusionment
- Chapter 1. Why People Leave: The Four Horsemen
- Chapter 2. After Religious Trauma
- Chapter 3. Walking Away from Religion
- Chapter 4. Religious Residue
- Chapter 5. Searching for Meaning in the Existential Chasm
- Chapter 6. Crafting a New Identity
- Chapter 7. Navigating Relationships
- Chapter 8. Post-Religious Spirituality
Conclusion. Moving Forward
References
Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD, is an associate professor of psychology at Hope College. A social psychologist, he has published over 200 scholarly articles and chapters on meaning in life, religion, virtues, and well-being, and his work has been supported by numerous grants from the John Templeton Foundation. He was named a 2016 Rising Star from the Association for Psychological Science, won the Margaret Gorman Early Career Award for APA’s Division 36 (Psychology of Religion and Spirituality) in 2022, and won the Early Career Contributions Award from the International Society for the Science of Existential Psychology.
Professor Van Tongeren is one of the most important living psychologists studying religion and beliefs. His work details, with humility and sensitivity, why people abandon or change their religious beliefs, and he supportively offers suggestions about what residue might remain, and how people might rebuild community and meaning. This book is filled with research based understanding and recommendations, and kindness.
—Adam B. Cohen, PhD, Professor, Department of Psychology, Arizona State University, Tempe, AZ, United States
An enlightening and compassionate resource, this timely book offers practical advice and profound insights for individuals reconstructing their religious beliefs or community. A blend of well-researched science and personal guidance for anyone on a journey of spiritual exploration and discovery.
—Crystal L. Park, PhD, Professor, Psychological Sciences, University of Connecticut, Storrs, CT, United States
People’s religious beliefs are central to their lives, yet in recent years so many people have been walking away from their faith. In this carefully researched yet deeply personal book, Van Tongeren explains why people typically leave their religions, and explores the diverse kinds of psychological reactions that people commonly experience after they leave. He offers an accessible and fascinating road map for what people can expect after they have left their religion behind them.
—Steven J. Heine, PhD, Professor of Psychology, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, BC, Canada
This book is a highly engaging and informative look at religious trauma, deconstruction, and creating the post-religious life. The crucial distinction Dr. Van Tongeren makes between religious “Nones” and religious “Dones” captures something so important, it should inform all subsequent research on this population. Both mental health professionals and people who have left high-control religions will find clear, research-based maps to the challenging and creative process of deconstruction in this important and helpful work.
—Coco Owen, PhD, Psychologist in private practice, specializing in religious trauma and recovery
I’m excited about this book, which I see as a go-to resource for anyone who has left religion or is struggling around such a decision. Packed with helpful psychological insights, relevant research findings, and practical suggestions, this book will also be useful for friends, family members, and therapists of those who pull away from religion.
—Julie J. Exline, PhD, Professor, Department of Psychological Sciences, Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH, United States
