California State University, Fullerton, counseling professors Matt Englar-Carlson, PhD, and David Shepard, PhD, teach graduate psychology classes on counseling and conducting therapy with men. Here are a few tips they share with students to make sure clients have effective sessions:
In the first session:
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Acknowledge at the start any possible ambivalence or resistance toward therapy.
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Recognize any fear of treatment and perceptions that help-seeking indicates failure.
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Avoid pushing for feelings too soon; take a client's lead.
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Facilitate an egalitarian relationship by responding honestly to questions that may require some self-disclosure.
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Don't assume men know their feelings or can articulate them.
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Assess how much the client adheres to traditional notions of masculinity--is he highly competitive, reluctant to admit any psychological distress or emotionally restricted?
As counseling progresses:
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Tell the client how men are socialized to disregard feelings.
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Explain the value of feelings.
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Help him identify his feelings.
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Convey that anger covers sadness, loss and shame.
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Help the client express yearnings for connections and intimacy.
--M. GREER
